


EYES ON ME

by jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Levi, Boys In Love, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, First Time, Lots of side relationships, M/M, Masturbation, Slow Burn, its gonna hurt, just saying -- it will, more cute than i ever expected how did that even come from me, self anal fingering, sexually awkward Levi, some fluff in there here and there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:28:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 72,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle/pseuds/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> Levi had lost everything, deciding it better to spend his life in isolation than risk feeling again. All goes well until a green-eyed kid pushes his way into his life, tearing down his walls and opening his heart in ways he never wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. YOU CALL ME A BITCH LIKE IT'S A BAD THING

**Author's Note:**

> all characters belong to isayama
> 
> Also yeah i totally gave eren longer hair. so something like [this](https://www.google.com/search?q=yuuzan+yoshida&espv=2&biw=1280&bih=619&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi96JGj_P_MAhVq54MKHRD9CBEQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=_)

 “You know Armin’s gonna have your ass for this.” Eren shifted anxiously, bored of standing in line with the rather excitable woman with a ponytail dishing out the rules to the small tour group.

Jean, with his arms crossed over his chest, turned to Eren, his lips pulling back into a shit-eating grin. “That’s what I’m counting on.”

“Well I really didn’t need to know that.” Eren rolled his Caribbean-green eyes, dark fingers reaching out to tug at the taller brunet’s sleeve “Come on—”

“And one last thing, _do not touch the exhibits!!_ ” The tour guide, Eren had missed her name, seemed to growl out, her voice echoing throughout the lobby in a way that made her voice boom monstrously. The glower in her eyes said she could back up the threat her voice made. Well, that, and the fact that she had the two raven security guards that made up ‘Ackerman Security’ on each side of her.

Eren couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that, _Ackerman Security._ It was just a ploy that his best friend, brother really, had come up with when he had inherited the museum from his late grandfather a few months back. As it turned out, he already had some pipsqueak with the last name Ackerman working on security detail – he had been there for a few years at least – and so when Mikasa had decided that twenty-two was old enough for her to get out of her shitty ass retail job Armin had happily hired her.

 He had beamed, putting up signs around the museum that read _Ackerman Security_ , claiming that everyone would think it would have some big bad security system when really all he had was two intimidating Ackermans.  Eren had rolled his eyes at him and scoffed, but really, he had never met a person who could take Mikasa, so the museum was in good hands.

“This is the best chance we’re going to get.” The brunet tugged at his taller friend’s sleeve again, eyes watching as Mikasa and the man who was clearly pissed at his height, or lack thereof, left the tour guide’s side, returning to whatever the fuck they normally did.

Jean nodded at him, grinning and quickening his step as the two of them snuck off into one of the side exhibits, ducking under the thick velvet rope that was apparently supposed to be the barrier of all barriers to stop anyone from passing through. Latex couldn’t stop them, and neither would the less-than-attractive rope. Eren stumbled in the darkness as the brunet pulled him further into the darkness, the hallway completely unlit and his eyes struggling to adjust.

“Fuck, Jean, gimme a minute to adjust. Not all of us have the instincts of a bitch in heat.” Eren felt the hand slip from his sleeve, only to feel the hard _thwap!_ of a finger connecting to his skull.

“Well sorry some of us are actually getting laid.”

Eren grumbled, rubbing his fingers through his long hair to massage away the pain. “Yeah, well, considering why we’re here you’re clearly not one of those people.”

“Well let’s hope that cha—dude…” Jean stopped in his tracks, grinning as he turned the corner, barely more than a shadow against a shadow, walking as if he was entranced. “Eren, get over here!”

Eren took a few quick steps, nearly sliding around the corner after Jean’s voice. To his surprise, the area was very dimly lit, but lit nonetheless. His eyes grew wide as they took in the exhibit, lips parting in awe at the different eras and cultures of armor; Samurai, Egyptian, American, Trojan, Spartan, even some from Medieval times.  “Whoa…”

Jean grinned, tapping Eren’s chin to close his mouth, his teeth clacking together unnaturally loud in the silent corner. “I think we found our playground.”

Eren’s lips pulled into a grin as he nodded, looking over the armor. Wasting no time, the german hopped up onto one of the exhibits, grabbing a helmet, admittedly too big for him, with a red plume. Huffing, he pushed his long, dark mass of hair around his eyes, ignoring the chunk that stayed under the nosepiece of the helmet.  Satisfied, the brunet reached up to the mannequin and pulled the large round shield and a short sword – both of which he found surprisingly heavy.

“Pfft, I don’t think this is going to be very fair.” Jean grinned up at him, holding a curved sword, well more of a sickle really, and a large, golden vaguely bird shaped mask, with colorful jewels embedded into it.

Eren couldn’t help the sputtering laugh that pushed from his lips as he looked down at his partner-in-crime. “What, are you going to peacock me to death?”

Jean waved his sword around, pointing it at Eren. “Hey, why don’t you get down here and say that, you twat!”

“Challenge accepted.” Grinning, he jumped down from the exhibit, standing with his shield up and holding the heavy sword out toward Jean like it was a fencing sword. “En garde!”

Without hesitating, Jean lunged at Eren, their swords clashing with a satisfying _clang_. They had both had their share of fighting, mostly hand-to-hand and mostly against one another, but neither had any sort of technique with swords. Mostly they were just pretending to be that one-badass-totally-unrealistic-who-gives-a-fuck-did-you-see-him-cut-off-that-guy’s-head character from their video games, finding themselves outclassed and not quite as well-bodied for the heavy metal fighting as they had thought they were.

Eren stumbled back, having more weight on himself than Jean, but caught himself just as the hawk eyed male spun with his sickle, reckless and catching the leg of his friend’s jeans, slicing through them easier than expected.

“Son of a bitch, Jean!” Growling, Eren charged full force toward Jean, sword raised as a battle cry escaped from his throat. He saw those golden eyes widen and for a moment, thought he was afraid of him. That is until he felt a cool rush of air to his head.

In a matter of seconds, Eren felt the helm being torn from his head and his center of gravity shifted as pain jolted to the back of his legs and the air pushed from his legs when his back became intimately acquainted with the cold, hard floor. His vision swam as he looked up to see a pair of steely eyes glowering down at him, pure distaste spread over the pale face.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, brat?”

Eren moved to push himself onto his elbows, finding a thick-soled boot pressed to his chest, rendering him immobile. Defeated, the brunet laid back, chest heaving under the humorously small foot as he tried desperately to catch the breath that had been knocked from his lungs. His green eyes drifted from the angry security guard to Jean, who was all-too-smugly setting aside his armor and holding out his hands to have cuffs placed on them.

_Cuffs? Really, is that necessary?_

Finally able to sit up, he pushed to his feet and looked over the security guard, unable to see much more than his well-kept undercut and disdain, and had to keep himself from laughing. He had to be an adult to hold the position he did, and still Eren found himself with a good six inches on the man. Pressing his lips together in a feeble attempt to hide his amusement, he held out his arms without a fight to allow him to cuff him. As much as he’d have liked to run, sure he could outrun those short legs, Eren knew it might land him in legit trouble and then he’d have to deal with the ever-frustrated Jean.

“Come on, you shits.” None-too-gently, the raven-haired security guard gripped their arms and nearly literally dragged them into the back toward Armin’s office.  “Wipe that fucking smirk off your face.”

Eren couldn’t help his snicker at how pissed the man was that Jean was so pleased. Before he could make a retort, a familiar blond, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail, opened the door and let out an exasperated sigh. He rubbed his blue eyes, puffing out a breath that pushed into his bangs.

“I should have known it was you two…” Armin turned to Jean, who was still grinning, the blond’s cheeks flushing a light pink when golden-eyed man winked at him. Taking a step back, he jabbed his thumb into the room that seemed to emit the smell of books. “You, in my office,” Turning his blue eyes back to the shortest of them all, “Levi, keep an eye on Eren, please.”

Jean grinned, sauntering through the doorway. “I love when you take charge like that~”

Eren was pretty sure Armin’s cheeks flushed red and thought he saw him eyeing Jean’s ass as he shut the door, followed by a click of a lock. _Yeah like I’m going to want to see that._

He shook his head, turning to the shorter man. “Well, they’re about to uh make up for lost time and I’d rather not sit here listening to my brother stick it to my best friend so,” He held up his wrists, the chain between them shifting.

Levi only stared at him, silent, until he dropped his wrists with a sigh. “This is where I’m supposed to bring people like you and this is where we’ll stay.”

“What, you want to try to tell me looking like that,” He gestured toward Levi with both hands, having the chance to take in the eyes of an insomniac, the build of soldier, and Eren was pretty sure he had seen a glimpse of the edge of a tattoo or two, “that you’ve never broken a few rules?”

Levi crossed his arms, grumbling. “I’ve broken a few something.”

Eren couldn’t help the undignified snort that pushed out from him, his poor attempt to not laugh. “What? A _few hearts_?” He mocked.

Levi’s expression didn’t change, a stoic, deadpanned look that practically screamed ‘dumbass.’ “A few femurs.”

* * *

“So let me get this straight—”

“Nothing straight about it.”

Armin sighed, knowing Jean was smirking without even turning to look at him. “ _Let me get this straight_ , you and Eren come to the museum, sneak off into a _closed_ exhibit, _steal_ _priceless artifacts_ from said exhibit, then proceed to sword fight with them, all because you’re horny?”

Jean shifted a bit, anxious as he moved a few books to the side of Armin’s desk and leaned against it. “It’s not just that…”

“Jean, I know it’s been difficult. Ever since I inherited this place, I know I’ve been busy and I’ve been neglecting you. I know it’s been crazy, and I’m sorry. But this? You and Eren could have been arrested, you could have broken something irreplaceable. And then what?”

The brunet turned toward him, leaning back against the desk, his golden eyes on the floor. “Are you mad?”

The blond sighed, shaking his head slowly and moving toward Jean, pushing the brunet’s feet apart to step in between them. “No, Jean,” He smiled softly, cupping the brunet’s jaw and brushing his thumb over the freshly-shaved skin. “I’m not mad, but you can’t do things like that.” His blue eyes softened, long lashes fluttering closed as he leaned forward and gently pressed their lips together.

 Jean wasted no time, strong arms wrapping around Armin’s taut body, pushing further into the kiss. His lips worked against the blond’s, teeth nipping and tugging at his lips, begging for a reaction. In return he received a heady sigh against his lips, his boyfriend’s parting to allow him entrance.

It wasn’t long before their bodies were pressed together, tongues rolling and lips mashing, hungry fingers touching and grabbing. Armin moved forward, forcing Jean onto his desk. Not that he would have minded if it wasn’t for something hard pushing against his ass.

“Ow, ow, ow—” Jean grimaced, pulling back enough to reach behind him, pulling a small bottle of lube and a two condoms from his pocket.

“So you really planned to get security called on you and then assumed I’d stick my dick in your ass?”

Jean smirked, cheeks and ears lighting up as he leaned back and opened his hips for Armin. “Is it working?”

Armin grinned, nose and cheeks flushed, lids heavy with lust. “Shut up.”

* * *

Eren’s eyes flashed to the door, pushing off the wall and standing to attention as the door across the hall slowly opened. His hands were still cuffed, and he’d feel embarrassed at hearing what he had if it wasn’t for the fact that it wasn’t the first time Jean and Armin had been less than discreet around him. Having his best friend and brother dating since high school had certainly served as an awkward awakening to his own sexuality.

“I’m surprised you can walk,” He grinned up at Jean, “Sounded like he was pounding you pretty good.” He had expected some sort of awkwardness or a ‘fuck you, man’ from Jean. Instead the brunet just grinned back at him, fully proud, smug even. Armin was left blushing, but didn’t say anything. “Man, horseface, have some dignity. At least _pretend_ you’re not so damned pleased to have just had a dick in your ass.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was totally necessary.


	2. IT WON'T BE PRETTY, IT WON'T BE SWEET

Eren had spent much of his time as a child wandering the interior of Trost Museum. He and Armin had been best friends since they were in single digits, and might as well have been raised as brothers. The blond’s parents had died when he was only seven years old, almost too young to remember them, really, and his grandpa had more or less raised him within the museum’s walls.

So when Eren found himself climbing the front steps with a bag of Chinese carry-out, he wasn’t all that surprised. He was simply being the nice brother and bringing lunch to his hard working siblings. It had nothing to do with the intriguing angry midget that had kicked his ass.

It was a little overwhelming pushing through the doors and finding himself engulfed in the musty scent of the museum, the coffee of the small café in the back, and the strong scent of Chinese wafting up from the bag in his hand. He had barely made it more than a few feet when an ever unamused voice called out to him.

“Oi, brat!”

_Brat? I’m fucking twenty-two._

Eren stopped in his tracks, grumbling internally and letting out an exasperated sigh before turning and looking down at the security guard.

“What’s the matter?” He tried not to grin, mentally adding ‘shorty’ to the end of his sentence.

“What the fuck are you doing here? I thought I made it pretty clear to keep your shitty face out of here.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest, and Eren thought he saw his eye twitch in annoyance.

Eren nibbled the inside of his lip, quirking an eyebrow at him. “Dude, chill. I just brought lunch for Armin and Mikasa.” He held up the bag for emphasis, the smell drifting to his nostrils and leaving him suddenly starving.

Levi’s jaw tensed, and he averted his eyes only for a second, but long enough that Eren wondered if he was a little embarrassed at being an ass. Probably not.

“Yeah, well, your sister already went on break.” When Eren only looked at him, he slow-blinked before continuing. “Some freckled kid asked her to lunch.” Levi shrugged, it wasn’t any of his business to ask questions.

“Oh…well, I guess it’ll just be me and Armin then. Assuming you’re going to let me pass, oh angry one.”

Eren watched as he slow-blinked at him again, and wondered just how hard he was trying to contain his growing frustration with him. He couldn’t help but be a little amused.

“Don’t fucking touch anything. Unless you actually _want_ me to kick your shitty ass again.” Levi licked over his lower lip, and Eren was certain that it was a habit based in irritation.

“Hey, it’s just lunch,” The brunet smirked, green eyes glinting with amusement as he leaned nearer to Levi, “But laying on my back with you on top of me _does_ sound more _appealing_.”

Steel-blue eyes narrowed, deadpanning heavily at Eren as Levi clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth. “Gross.”

Amusement tugged at Eren’s lips, pulling them back from his teeth as he let out a small chuckle, gripping Levi’s shoulder as he passed and vaguely thinking himself lucky the man didn’t hit him for it. “Yeah, see ya later, Levi.”

He was still grinning as he found his way back to Armin’s office. He paused in the open door, leaning against the frame and rapping his knuckles against the door. Eren forced down his laughter as he watched the blond jump, turning in his spinny-chair with wide eyes.

“Pfft, wow, Armin. Way to be on alert. It’s not like you own a building full of priceless artifacts or anything.” Eren smirked at him knowingly.

“Yes, thank you, captain obvious. Sorry, I’ve just been busy trying to get everything sorted.” The blond sighed, thoughtlessly pulling his hair back into a hair tie.

“I’m sure it doesn’t help that there’s probably Jean ass juices on that desk.”

“I—wha—” Armin’s cheeks lit up, flustered at the thought and finding himself thinking back to the previous day. Laughter bubbled up from Eren’s chest, the blond pressing his lips together and puffing his cheeks out in a pout. “What are you even doing here, Eren?”

In lieu of responding, the brunet simply lifted the bag in his hand, hoping the Styrofoam had kept the food plenty warm. “Lunch?”

“Chinese?”

“Yeah, brought some for you and Mikasa, but Levi said she already went out with someone else?” Eren hadn’t meant to let his protective side edge into his voice, but judging by his smile, Armin had noticed it. The blond said nothing, leading them to the café and picking one of the few booths in the back.

Still not speaking, Armin dug into the bag and pulled out a couple containers of rice before popping open the containers to find their food; a general tso’s for Eren, and a chicken lo-mein for himself.  It was strangely cryptic the way he wasn’t talking, and it left the brunet uncomfortable as he settled into the booth across from his brother.

“His name is Marco.”

“What?” Eren paused, a forkful of chicken and rice halfway into his mouth.

“The guy Mikasa is out with.” Even as he was twirling noodles around his fork, he was watching Eren carefully, calculating the way he slowly closed his mouth around his chicken instead of shoveling in like usual. “He’s a year older, good guy.” He paused, not even looking at Eren as he filled his mouth with noodles.

“Wait, so what she just went out with some dork who spends his fun time at the fucking museum of lame?” Armin only stared at him, chewing slowly. “Sorry.”

“He’s been around quite a few times, few times a week,” Armin smiled up at the short waitress who brought them each a coke; she smiled back, her red hair glinting in the light.  “Apparently, he helps get children out of abusive households, as well as rescuing the victims of human trafficking. He specializes in their recovery, and he tends to bring them individually here.” He shrugged thoughtfully. “Something about it helps them focus on something else, and the distraction helps them open up. He takes them to the zoo and aquarium sometimes, too.”

“Geez. Fucking Jesus, isn’t he? I guess it’s no surprise that she’s interested, considering.” Eren rolled his eyes, shoving another piece of chicken into his mouth. “Lemme guess, he’s also tall, dark, and handsome?”

At that Armin chuckled, swallowing down the noodles in his mouth and tapping his cheek with a clean finger. “Freckles, too.”

Eren grinned this time, a real smile. Yeah, he was still protective of his sister, but in reality she could handle herself, and he knew he wouldn’t have to save her more than once. He was just happy she might be hitting it off with someone who would treat her right, and understand her.

“Mikasa’s a fucking goner, man.” Armin hummed his agreement and silence settled over them, their eating returning to their normal habits. It was peaceful.

Armin had inherited his grandfather’s house, along with the museum, a car, and a pretty decent amount of money when he had passed. It had taken a little while, but he had eventually moved into it, and Jean had of course moved in with him. Eren was happy for them, certainly, but it left him alone in his apartment more often than not. As in almost all the time.  Annie, his remaining roommate, might as well not live there with how often she was at her girlfriend’s.

Eren didn’t blame her, he didn’t blame any of them. He was happy for them, and maybe a little jealous. But mostly he missed being able to have dinner with his siblings and best friend. Lunch with his brother would have to suffice.

The peace didn’t last long before a tall brunette that Eren recognized as the tour guide nearly sprinted to their table, bouncing excitedly on her toes.

“Arm—in!” She was grinning, hair ponytail bouncing behind her, and Eren wondered if her cheeks hurt from her overly excited smile.

“What’s up, Hanji?”

“Are you busy tonight?” Her fingers tensed and relaxed, as if she didn’t know what to do with her hands.

“Uh, I don’t—”

“Of course you’re not! You’re not, no, you’re not. Right? You’re not. Right? Right.” She slammed her hands onto the table, Eren jumping and looking up at her with wide, green eyes. Armin only stared up at her, unaffected. “You have to come to my house tonight! I’m having a party. You’re coming right, right!?”

Armin slowly licked his lips, fighting down his amusement. Before he could respond, Hanji leaned forward, smiling at the still uncertain Eren.

“Come on, boss! This kid can come, too! It’ll be great!”

Armin finally broke, laughter spilling from his lips. “All right, all right, I’ll be there.”

“You will? Great!” She grinned, squeezing his hand excitedly before turning her attention to the register, heading in that direction. “Petra~!”

* * *

Eren was a little surprised when Armin had text him, asking him if he was nearly ready. Even so, he had agreed and hadn’t much bothered doing anything besides putting on a clean t-shirt and pulling on a pair of chucks. He hadn’t really paid attention to how long the trip took, or where they were going, barely noting that Armin hadn’t even needed to check for directions.

Soon enough, they had arrived at a little split level, two story house. It was already dark outside, so he couldn’t tell much beyond it was a lighter color. There were already cars parked in the driveway and in front of the house, and Armin carefully parked across the street to avoid the hydrant. Eren thought maybe he should be more excited, but honestly he mostly felt like he only had gotten invited because he had been there. And he had.

“Whose bike?” He stretched his chest, fingers shifting to pull his dark hair into a low ponytail. His bangs still fell messily around his face, but it was hot as Satan’s balls out and his hair on his neck felt like he was wearing a blanket over his head. Even with air conditioning, he was certain there’d be enough people cramped into one room for it to be hot inside, too.

“Uh, I think that’s Levi’s.” Armin shrugged, moving close enough for the light to detect his presence and flick on. Turned out the house was bright-as-fuck yellow.

Eren felt his stomach tighten and churn at the mention of the security guard. He chewed his inner lip, tucking his dark hands into his pockets and moving to follow Armin to the door. He wasn’t sure he liked the reaction to Levi’s name. Or the fact that he was now thinking how damn hot the shorter man probably looked on his bike.

“Boss man!!” Hanji’s excited shriek pulled Eren out of his thoughts, a smile tugging at his lips as she threw her arms around Armin. “And you brought Eren, too!”

“You told her my name?” Eren quirked an eyebrow at Armin, but Hanji answered before he could.

“Oh, Levi told me.” She grinned and tugged them into the door, Eren swallowing down the moment of churning that was his stomach.

Eren stumbled through the doorway, surprised by just how many people were in the room. Well, it _was_ a party after all. He had been right, the amount of people in the room left it feeling stuffy and almost suffocating. At least her AC was roaring and the fans were circulating the air. Armin quickly moved about, squeezing between the others until he found a space on the arm of a chair to sit, apparently well enough at home.

“Oh, right, Eren! You’re not friends with anyone besides Armin and Levi—” She smiled, pulling him by his arm and shoving him into a chair, sitting on the arm with her legs draped over his.

“I don’t know about friends.” Eren immediately recognized the voice as Levi’s turning to see him crinkle his nose and take a sip of a dark drink with ice. Scotch, most likely. The stoic man never had quite mastered drinking it without having some sort of reaction to the taste, even if it was just a slight tensing of his lips or crinkle of his nose.

Eren tried to ignore the fact that he noticed, and thought it was cute. Of course he was far more distracted by Levi’s appearance. He had only ever seen him at work, clean, in his uniform. Intimidating, and maybe slightly militarized. But now, he was leaning back on the couch next to a man with bitch face and a sandy haircut that vaguely reminded him of Jean.

Levi had apparently stopped at home, changing into a pair of jeans and a black darkside of the moon t-shirt. It was…almost surreal to see him so relaxed. He shouldn’t have been surprised, really. Most people looked different outside of work.

He noticed a pair of shattered wings on his neck, partially hidden by his shirt. It was the same one that had been peeking from under his uniform collar. There were a few more on his arms, but he couldn’t see well enough to see what they were. He couldn’t miss the piercings, however, not with the way the light glinted off the metal. They were all basic studs, one in his right brow, his lower lip on the left, and one through the bridge of his nose. He seemed to have a few in his ear cartilage, and an industrial on the left side.

The ink and metal was more than a little surprising to Eren. And it was fucking hot.

“Eren?” His green eyes flashed to Hanji, glad it was dim enough to hide his flushing cheeks as he realized he was staring. “So that’s Auruo,” She grinned, gesturing to the bitch-faced man, then pointed next to him to the ginger girl who worked in the café. He didn’t miss the way their fingers were interlocked. “And Petra, his fiancée.” They both acknowledged him, Petra smiling and actually giving him a proper greeting while Auruo just looked at him like an outcast. Then again, he sort of was.

“Uh, Erd, Nifa and Gunther are in the kitchen,” She raised her voice when she said their names, both of the men poking their head through the doorway. A short woman with chin length brown hair that reminded Eren far too much of teenage Armin peeked out through the adjoining window before returning to whatever it was she was doing.

“Nifa is Gunther’s girlfriend, about damn time really. Erd’s got a wife at home, but apparently Abigail had to work and her husband’s mad friend’s impromptu party wasn’t a viable excuse to them.” Hanji turned back toward the group, gesturing carelessly across the room. “And that’s the sunshine trio.”

Eren was surprisingly quiet, almost anxious out of his comfort zone as he looked up at her with confusion before looking back to the three blonds piled onto the loveseat.

Two were large men, clearly over six feet with the way their legs stretched past the furniture. One had a prominent nose and his hair was scruffy, almost hiding his hazel eyes. The other man was nearly as tall, his blond hair clean kempt with a strong jaw and bright blue eyes, and…eyebrows.

Sitting on the scruffy one’s lap, with their legs stretched over the cleaner one’s was another blond. Much smaller, in black leggings and a loose, low hanging tanktop that probably hid the bulge when they stood. They had a sort of pixie cut, kept short and edgy, pulled across their face to the side, big blue eyes smiling and winking charmingly at him.

“Okay, okay, that’s Mike and Erwin,” She gestured to them accordingly before moving to kiss the back of the other man’s hand. “And this lovely lady is Nanaba, their girlfriend.”

 _She_. He amended in his head before looking at them questioningly. “ _Their?_ ”

Hanji only chuckled, looking over at the three questioningly.

“Go ahead.” Erwin shrugged, Nanaba nodding in agreement.

“They’re our resident threesome.”

“So, you’re both sharing her?” Eren asked, not meaning to sound as incredulous as he did.

“Sometimes. Though,” Nanaba grinned over at Eren, clearly amused, “They date each other just as often.” Neither of them had said anything, but he didn’t miss this way Erwin ran his fingers up the back of Mike’s neck.

“O-oh, uh, sorry,” Eren looked away, a little flustered and feeling like an ass for his comment and mentally misgendering Nanaba.

Nanaba only laughed again, grabbing a bottle of beer off the table and handing it to Eren. He was surprised to find it was still cold. “Nice to meet you, kid.”

It hadn’t taken long for everyone to settle back in. Hanji had brought out drinks and refills, and at some point they had made rounds to get bowl-fulls of nacho sauce, and small plates of lil smokies. Most of the night was spent with Hanji getting more than a little drunk, which apparently only made her louder, and shoving her left hand in their faces.

“Look at this mother fucking thing do you see this is it not the most perfect beautiful shiny thing you’ve ever seen in your mother fucking life!?” Her words were coming out jumbled and pushed together, hastened with excitement and alcohol. None of them had been aware, but this was apparently Hanji’s version of a look-who-is-fucking-engaged-and-who-cares-if-the-groom-is-at-work party.

Eventually, Eren had decided to lean over the arm of the chair, closer to Levi, who didn’t bother to even look in his direction.

“So, Levi, I was thinking about the other day—”

“You mean yesterday.”

“Yeah, that. Anyway, I was thinking about it. How you had me on my back, how you _controlled me~_ ” He smirked, taking a slow swig from the mouth of his bottle. “We should do that again.” So maybe he wasn’t a hundred percent sober.

Levi took a slow breath, almost imperceptible. “Right, maybe this time I’ll make sure to break your fucking ribs.” He rolled his eyes, downing the last of the water he had switched to awhile back.

“Or maybe it should be the other way around,” Eren grinned, reaching out and gently brushing his longest finger over the ‘IFC’ imprinted onto the inside of Levi’s thumb. “Since you seem to like things poking into you.”

To his surprise, Levi jerked his hand back, his brows furrowing and eyes narrowing, darkening. It was a look of scorn that only Mikasa could contend with.

“ _Don’t fucking touch me_.” His words were a low growl, immediately sobering Eren. “Fucking touch it again and I _will break your fucking hand_.”

He couldn’t help but be a little afraid, and more than a little curious as to why Levi was losing it. And maybe a little more hurt than he’d like to admit.

“Le—vi! Come on, don’t be such an angry turd!” Hanji grinned, clearly unaffected by his behavior. Erwin and Petra seemed just as unfazed, as if they had dealt with this before. Or knew specifically how to handle whatever it was that set him off.

Eren had expected her to say something to distract him. Instead, she put her knee next to his leg and grabbed his cheeks, leaning in to give him a hard, sloppy kiss. His green eyes widened as he watched, noting the way Levi didn’t pull away, and how no one else seemed to react. Even so, he couldn’t ignore the churning in his stomach that he was certain was a jealousy he shouldn’t even have.

When Hanji did pull back, she was grinning and Levi was only staring at her.

“Shitty glasses.”

At that she chuckled, pushing off of him and moving to the arm of the chair beside him. He patted her thigh as he pushed up, and she smiled softly, understanding it was his awkward thanks.

“Yeah, well, I guess that means it’s time for me to get my shit out of here before I destroy some shitty brat.” That was all he had said before pulling on a jean jacket and leaving the house.

Eren waited, listening as the bike rumbled to life and the sound faded into the distance. He could feel the heat building inside him. Not just the jealousy, either. It was sickening and made his stomach feel like it was on fire and he was certain his face was hot from both the alcohol and anger.

Yeah, he _was angry_. Levi hadn’t flinched when they had heard Jean and Armin banging the day before. Nor did he care when Hanji nearly devoured his face.

But he nearly fucking attacked Eren just for touching him, for flirting with him? So yeah, he wasn’t all that subtle and maybe a little drunk, but he couldn’t understand what was so fucking wrong with the concept of himself that Levi felt it necessary to blow up like that, and then leave. And of course he implicitly stated he was leaving because he wanted to hurt him.

“What the fuck is his problem!? Is he just really not into guys or what? Just me!? Fuck!” He growled out in frustration, to no one in particular. He hadn’t fully realized what he was saying, or who he was saying it to. Armin was the only one in this room who he could claim as his friend, really.

And they were all silent, the tension palpable as they stared at him.

Before he could spill out an apology and disappear into another room, since he was trapped until Armin was ready to go, Hanji interrupted the silence. Her laughter was loud and boisterous and unnaturally resounding in the silence.

“What?” Eren furrowed his brows, starting to feel like she was just laughing at him and not much caring for it.

“Hanji…” Erwin spoke up, voice warning, but it was too late.

“Kid, Levi’s asexual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i am so sorry. so sorry. this is such shit. please bear with me i promise its going to get better. ~~im seriously borderline crying because i know how bad this beginning has been and im so sorry~~


	3. I WANNA LICK THE WRAPPER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eren  
> 

_Asexual huh..?_

Eren couldn’t deny that the first thing he had done after the party, which had to his surprise not gone too terribly sour after his outburst, had been to pull out his laptop to search what asexuality was. He probably could have asked Hanji and the others, but he was far too proud to admit that he had no idea what the hell it was beyond plants. The thought had amused his less than sober mind for a few moments before he brushed it off; if the reaction Levi incited in him was anything to go by, the security guard sure as hell wasn’t a leaf.

Even with his innate, obvious interest in the amusingly short man, the brunet was a little surprised when he found himself on the steps of the museum. Again. It hadn’t been his intention when he had left his apartment. He couldn’t deny that he had been incredibly…frustrated with his findings and had spent a vast majority of the night grumbling and blindly wandering the internet. It didn’t help that he had the day off from the bakery; it was a pretty good job, though he’d never thank Jean for it out loud.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he climbed the steps, once again a bag in hand. This time it was a paper bag filled with pastries. He wasn’t even sure how it had happened, he had wandered around, bored and distracted, and before he knew it he had bought the sweets with the intention of bringing them to Armin and Mikasa. Third day in a row…he hadn’t been to the museum that much in years.

As he entered the main doors, his eyes immediately fell onto the Ackerman ‘twins’ standing off to the side. Hanji was nowhere in sight, the whole building pretty lax. Then, again, it was the middle of the day during the work week. Levi had leaned over and muttered something to Mikasa, arms remaining crossed over his chest. She seemed to laugh to herself, and it was then that they noticed Eren.

Mikasa waved to him, a smile on her face. Levi, however, visibly withdrew, his eyes narrowing and Eren couldn’t help the secondary anger that came with the reaction. The anger didn’t last long, drowned in the hunger that he felt pooling in his abdomen at the sight of the other man. It wasn’t that he hadn’t noticed it before, but it was almost as if seeing him the previous night, relaxed with his friends, being…human had awakened his attraction to the raven haired man.

“Eren? What are you doing here?” Mikasa turned to him, fingers habitually moving to the red scarf around her neck.

“Again.”

Eren ignored Levi’s comment, turning and trying to fake a smile for Mikasa. “Uh, I got some sweets,” The bag crinkled as he held it up to her. “Thought I’d bring them to you and Armin.”

“Again.”

“Yes, again.” Eren’s eyes flicked over to Levi, jaw tensing, before he turned back to Mikasa, handing her the bag. His sister smiled, opening the top of the bag to peek inside curiously.

“I’ve worked here for a few years, and this is the first time I’ve seen you around here. And now you’re here three days in a row.” Levi’s steel eyes narrowed, brows furrowing, though his stance remained unchanged. “And then you show up at the fucking party. What the fuck are you doing?”

Eren faltered, his stomach churning and he could feel the anger burning inside him. He had spent more time than he wanted to admit thinking about Levi, and had felt…well he wasn’t sure what he felt when he found out about the other man’s sexuality. Disappointment. Anger. A lot of embarrassment. But now to have him treat him like this, like he was so unwelcome in a place he grew up in…it snapped something in him. He never was known for his level-headedness, though.

“What the fuck’s your problem, shorty? I have every right to be here, maybe you forgot but my brother fucking _owns_ the place; he’s your _boss_. And I was _invited_ to that party–”

“Because you were there.”

Dark fists clenched, his jaw tensing. It was true, sure, and he knew it. But that didn’t mean he was pleased to be reminded. “Yeah, because I was there. What’s the big fucking deal? Was it such a problem that I was there? Is my presence so damn upsetting to you? I mean hell, you fucking flipped when I barely touched you. I would think you were grossed out by my sexuality but your friends are a fucking smorgasbord of gay.”

At this point he wasn’t even thinking, his anger had taken over and all he wanted was to bring Levi down a peg.

“Are you afraid I’ll touch you again? Is that it? Afraid that I’ll touch you and you’ll have to remember how fucked up you are.” Something in him shifted from anger to threatening, as he stepped closer to the other man, looking down at him from under his bangs. To his credit, Levi stood his ground. “I mean, you’re asexual, after all. So it doesn’t matter if someone touches you, anyway, right?” As if he needed to emphasize his meaning, he reached between them, pressing his hand firmly against Levi’s crotch, palming him through his pants.

Eren had barely registered Mikasa’s hiss before his hand was being smacked away, Levi’s strong fingers gripping his wrist and the base of his hand in the same fluid movement. Pain jolted through him, hot and burning from the pressure the security guard was putting on the fragile bones, searing its way up through his arm.  Fear flitted through green eyes as he saw the darkening behind Levi’s, wondering how many bones wouldn’t be intact by the time left.

“Just because I’m ace doesn’t mean I can’t be aroused, you twat! How did you even – never the fuck mind.” He turned to glance over at Mikasa, roughly shoving Eren’s hand back toward him. “I’m on break.” He didn’t wait for her approval, storming off toward the café.

Eren only stared dumbly, fingers absentmindedly massaging his hand. He had only heard that sort of emotion in the security guard’s voice once, the last time he had touched him.

“You know,” Eren almost jolted, turning his attention to Mikasa’s voice, which was eerily level. “If someone had done that to me, you’d have them meeting your fist faster than I could say rape.”

“Like you can’t handle yourself.” Eren responded incredulously.

“So can ser-scowls-a-lot, but that’s not the point.” Mikasa pursed her lips, gripping the bag to her chest and heading toward Armin’s office, leaving Eren standing alone in the lobby.

There was something in her voice that left him feeling like he had swallowed a vat of concrete, the heavy coldness seeping into his body. Mikasa had always been overprotective, annoyingly so at times. But she had never been less than loving, even that time when she decked him for insulting Armin, he hadn’t questioned that she still loved him. But there was something in her voice that he had never heard directed at him before. Disappointment? That, too, but no, it was something else.  

It was disgust.

Eren swallowed hard, throat threatening to close at the thought. Mikasa was disgusted by him. Mikasa, who could see the beauty even in the cruel world. He bit his lip, sighing shakily. He had fucked up, and he knew it.

He sighed heavily, hanging his head and knowing he had to do something about it. With a deep, steeling breath he marched into the café. Levi was the only one there, sitting at one of the tables with barstools. Eren had to stifle a snicker at the way his toes barely hooked the horizontal bar on the legs. Petra sat across from him; her chin resting in her hands as he angrily ate the burger and fries she had brought him.

There was an obvious, undeniable tension in both of their bodies, and Eren could only assume by the way Levi was murdering his fries that they may have been talking about them. Trying not to look like he’d rather be anywhere but there, the brunet took a step forward. Steel blue eyes flashed toward him, quickly followed by Petra’s hazels, which he never thought could look so ungodly intimidating.

He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the overwhelming dark aura that was emanating from the two of them. Moving closer, he gripped the small back of the chair, fingers squeezing it in an attempt to relieve some of his tension.

“Hey, um…can we talk?” He couldn’t quite find it in himself to really look Levi in the eye.

“I think you’ve said plenty.” Levi’s reply was flat, harsh even around the fry in his mouth.

Eren worried his lip with his teeth, his voice barely coming out. “…Please?”

Levi let out a heavy sigh, pushing the stool out with his foot and watching carefully as Petra slid from her stool with the intent to gives them some privacy. As she did, Eren pushed up onto the stool he stood next to, sliding onto it with ease due to his height advantage. He shifted awkwardly, turning to the ginger before she had the chance to escape.

“Can I get a coke?” He wasn’t really thirsty, but he needed something to distract him, something to do with his hands. When he looked up at her, he was surprised to see her deadpanning at his request. Of course she was upset, he couldn’t blame her really.

“No.” She didn’t say anything else, her word blunt and crisp and she stalked off to the kitchen.

Eren didn’t say anything, sitting in silence and carefully murdering a napkin that had been on the table in front of him. He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there in silence; long enough for Levi to finish the rest of his cheeseburger.

“Did you just come over here to impede on my space during lunch or what?”

He jolted, looking over at Levi and realizing that he hadn’t said anything despite pushing his way in.

“I just…I’m really sorry.”

“What.”

“For earlier, for what I did, I’m so—”

“I fucking heard you. You fucking _molest_ me and then think you can just come say ‘sorry’ and it will be all rainbows and puppies?” The incredulousness in his voice was obvious, Eren wincing in response.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s not like I can take it back.”

“Fuck you. Get the fuck away from me.” Levi didn’t budge, his eyes locked onto Eren.

“Wait, what? Come on, I said I was sorry. It was…inappropriate. I feel bad; can’t you just accept my apology?” There was a slight whine in his voice, as if begging the raven to cut him some slack.

“Oh, so let me get this straight,” Levi lowered his head, shaking is lightly and letting out a small, mirthless laugh. “You just want to apologize to make yourself feel better you shitbag.” Steely eyes looked up at Eren from under furrowed brows, dark and threatening, and suddenly with his next words his voice lost its matter-of-fact tone. “You wouldn’t have let someone else get away with doing that to a girl, but because I’m a guy, and I’m something you don’t understand you think it’s fucking okay to treat me like your fucking _sex toy?_ ”

Levi’s jaw visible tensed, his thumb pushing down on his index finger until an audible _pop_ was forced from it. His eyes widened just enough for Eren’s to mirror the action, the way he pulled his arms tighter in his lap a clear display of his discomfort and maybe even fear.

“There is _nothing fucked up_ about me because I’m ace. You don’t get to do whatever the fuck you want to me because I’m ace. And you sure as fuck don’t get any forgiveness just because you fucking asked for it.”

Eren’s mouth opened as if to protest, jaw snapping shut when Levi didn’t falter in the least.

“Get the fuck away from me,” his voice came out more growl than words, “ _Don’t ever fucking talk to me again._ ”

The raven didn’t budge, watching predatorily as the green-eyed culprit nodded and slid out of his stool, stumbling and muttering one last apology before walking stiffly out of sight.

Levi let out a sigh, sitting back in his seat and sinking down to the edge of the stool. He had expected to get an angry response; then again, he knew very well anger was secondary. For now the fear was strong enough, and at least he wouldn’t have to deal with secondary response.

Slowly he relaxed his hand, eyes falling on ‘IFC’ inked into his skin. His brushed his thumb across the tattoo, barely feeling the letters raised above the surface of his skin. It was a habitual gesture, one that had a way of instantly calming him.

_What would you think if you could see me like this..?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise starting in the next chapter eren gets his shit together and stops being a dick.
> 
> okay i feel like i should make this clear. I'm ace, and yes eren is being a dick with all the misconceptions. He'll learn.
> 
> And I'm sorry the chapters have been short, they'll get longer when we get deeper into shit the further we go.
> 
> Oh I forgot to mention, I got a job and so updates may be slower simply as I'll have less time.


	4. YOUNG, BUT I'M NOT THAT BOLD

“What the fuck are you doing out here, dumbass?”

Eren groaned as light flooded over him, eyes opening only a second before slamming shut again, liquid seeping out between his lashes as the pain seared his cornea. After a few moments he attempted to reopen his eyes, a little more successfully this time. Looking around, he realized it had to be still in the AM by how light the sunlight beaming in at him was.

Sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, shoveling a bowl of fruit loops into her mouth, was the blonde he called roommate and sometimes friend; resident bisexual of the apartment. She was still wearing her tank top with the snowman that just wanted to be a princess on the front, and a pair of short shorts, her hair messily falling around her shoulders.

“Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep out here.” It wasn’t a lie. Though really, it meant that he hadn’t stopped thinking about what had happened at the museum, and had instead spent the night trying to find a reliable source of information about asexuality. He couldn’t stop grumbling and playing over Levi’s words repeatedly in his head. The anger had clutched his insides and forced him to actually think about what he had done. And why he had done it.

Even now he couldn’t justify, even to himself, what he had done. And maybe he hated himself a little for that. Or a lot. But mostly he was just frustrated that he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, stop thinking about everything that had happened over the past few days. If he was being honest with himself, he should have stopped being so curious about Levi the instant he had found out that sex was off the table. It wasn’t as if he had known him enough to have any other attraction to him.

“Hey, Annie…” She turned toward him, her prominent nose crinkling at the dislike of being interrupted watching her cartoons before she had to go be an adult at work. “What do you know about asexuality?”

Those stoic blue eyes only blinked at him, mouth still working on the sugary excuse for a cereal. Eventually, she sighed, lowering her bowl to her lap and sorting out her thoughts. “It’s too early for this shit. Eren, you’re gayer than my diamond studded dildo. How is it that you really know nothing about asexuality?”

Eren squirmed a bit, pushing himself up into the corner of the sofa. “I…I don’t know. I just don’t. What, am I supposed to go fucking look up every possible sexuality out there? Just because I’m gay?” He hadn’t meant to have such a bite to his response, but he couldn’t help it. Anger was his habitual response when someone made him feel stupid for not knowing something.

Annie only deadpanned at him, and Eren knew there was no way she was going to help him now. She pushed to her feet with a fluidity that he couldn’t help but admire. Grabbing the pillow her ass had previously occupied, she threw it directly at the brunet’s face and walked around the bar-island to the kitchen.

“Ask Armin, I don’t have time for your tantrums.”

Eren only sighed, letting out a groan and flopping onto the couch, feet hanging over the arm. He held the pillow over his face and tried not to think, which of course only meant he couldn’t stop thinking. His efforts were futile, and eventually he gave in and just tried to focus on the sounds of the apartment. That didn’t last long, as Annie didn’t take more than five minutes to change and walk out the door, clicking the lock over behind her.

Pushing to his feet, he shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed Annie’s box of fruit loops  from the top of the fridge. He was pretty sure she’d kick his ass for it later, but he didn’t have any fucks to give for breakfast. Instead he climbed onto the stool and dug a hand into the bag, only half of the sugar loops making it to his mouth. The rest ticked onto the counter.

Brushing his finger over the integrated mouse pad, the screen on the laptop slowly came to life. He wasn’t sure if he had left it on or if Annie had commandeered it this morning. Wasting his time, he went through his routine of checking his email, logging into tumblr to check for asks, and even checking if anything had updated. He blamed Jean for corrupting him with his nerdom.

Everything was boring, and he couldn’t help his thoughts from drifting. Again.

 _Sex toy, huh? Then…_ He bit his lip, already knowing where his thoughts were going. _Then why the fuck can’t I stop giving a damn._

He had no arguments that he was sexually attracted to the security guard. More so after seeing him casually dressed, and with a bike and, piercings and tattoos. And even more so after the way he had chewed into him for what he’d done, if Eren was being completely honest with himself.

“But if there’s no sex then…” His words weren’t much more than a mumbled thought, muffled by the fingertips that had settled against his lips.

“What about no sex?”

Eren jolted in his chair, glaring at the blond as laughter bubbled out of him. Armin, of course, had a key to his apartment. The brunet just hadn’t realized what a ninja he could be.

“Sorry, sorry. I figured you’d still be asleep so I didn’t bother knocking.” Armin walked past him, moving to grab a jar of chocolate milk from the fridge. It was the good kind, rich and smooth and delicious, from a local farm, in a glass container and costing an extra dollar-fifty deposit for the jar.

“Yeah, well, apparently Annie felt the need to try to scorch out my corneas before she left.” Eren didn’t look up from his screen, scrolling through the asexuality tag and not really paying attention. He simply listened as Armin went about his way, pouring his drink. “What are you here for, anyway?”

The blond moved close behind him, taking a sip and nosing over his shoulder. “I woke up early today. Was in a good mood and figured it wasn’t much out of the way so I’d stop by.” Armin shrugged, not looking at the brunet and trying to seem casual.

Eren turned to look his brother, crinkling his nose and turning back toward the computer. “Gross.”

Armin only chuckled, leaning closer to the computer. “Asexuality, huh?” He asked knowingly. Eren didn’t look at him, hesitating a moment before nodding slowly. The blond smiled, setting his glass down and reaching over the other’s shoulder to reach the keyboard. With a few movements of his deft fingers, he pulled up another blog on the same webpage.

Eren only looked up at him before turning back toward the screen, scrolling through and finding conveniently labeled links such as _what is asexuality?_ And _FAQs._ The two remained in silence, Armin simply leaning back against the counter and giving him enough privacy by not watching what he was reading.

“Why are you so interested?”

Eren’s attention shot to Armin, turning to look up at him. “What?”

“If any other new you were pursuing told you sex was not an option, you’d move on.” He lifted a hand before the brunet could protest that he wasn’t shallow. “You’d acknowledge the loss of a potential relationship, and probably stay friends if you’d gotten to that point. But if any of your previous partners had said that…well you wouldn’t do this—” He gestured toward the computer.

“Well that’s never happened before.”

“Eren, you narcissistic twat. I am your brother, I have known you pretty much forever. You are a beautiful man, and a rather sexual being. So why are you so damned insistent on –” he jabbed his finger at the computer screen, “—this?”

“Because I—” Eren paused, folding into himself in defeat. “I don’t know.”

Armin only smiled, shaking his head softly. “Eren, sometimes I really question your intelligence.”

He turned away from him, pouring what was left of the hot coffee into a mug, filling the rest with milk, sugar, and French vanilla creamer. Setting the mug on the counter next to Eren, he leaned over him again and opened the link for _romantic attraction_ in a new tab.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” He said softly and ruffled the brunet’s hair for good measure before heading back out the door, deciding he had wasted just enough time to get to work.

Eren worried his lip, fingers drumming against the side of his tardis mug. He sighed, bringing the mouth of the cup to his lips, sipping carefully at the almost-too-hot beverage. Even with the added milk and creamer it was still hot. He had asked Annie once how she managed to drink it without scolding her mouth, she had only smiled and said ‘fire cannot harm a dragon.’

Taking a large gulp, he pulled his hair back and focused on the pages in front of him. It seemed like a lot of information, and it had taken all of ten seconds to realize how hilariously, sickeningly wrong he had been. It was so simple really; lack of sexual attraction. He couldn’t say he understood, but he wanted to. The more he read, the more he knew, and yet, the more he was confused. A spectrum within a spectrum.

He read about asexuality, demisexuality, and gray-asexuality. He wasn’t even sure why, as it was stated quite clearly that Levi was asexual – ace. Not the others. Maybe he was just curious at this point. He tried desperately to ignore the way his stomach sunk as he read through it. From most of the testimonies, it seemed that not being into sex was a lot more prominent than enjoying it. Or at least those were the ones that congregated to this blog, he told himself.

And yet, he couldn’t even deny the way his stomach flipped – in a good way, this time – when he started digging into the other page Armin had pulled up. It seemed there were as many romantic orientations as there were sexual, and just because Levi was ace, it didn’t mean he was aromantic.

 _So that means I still stand a chance—_ Eren paused at his own thought. “Chance for what, he never wants to talk to you again, remember?”

Eren sighed heavily, deciding he had exhausted his brain’s capacity for absorption for the day. Standing, he stretched, letting out a groan and slipping the hair tie from his hair. Shutting the laptop, he headed toward the bathroom, hoping a shower would help sort…something out.

_I…I have to apologize._

* * *

It was nearly noon when Levi’s bike died down as he parked it in the back lot, under the carport that was provided for the employees. He clipped his helmet onto the bars before tucking his keys into his pocket and running his fingers through his hair to smooth it out. He wasn’t fond of working Saturdays, as he was today.

It wasn’t because he wanted his weekend, it’s not like he would be out doing anything, anyway. Simply, Saturdays were _always_ busier. Especially since that damn movie had come out, a movie Levi would never admit to Hanji he had thoroughly enjoyed. He’d rather not admit that he loved ‘kids’ movies; it fucked up his reputation of being heartless.

Heartless or not, the steel-eyed man wasn’t fond of people to begin with. And children were worse, with their grabby hands that were always wet or sticky – or both – with gods knew what and they had to touch everything and everyone. They left him with an itch in his skin that made him want to shower, wash away any filth that may have gotten on him. Then again, being around people in general did that to him. What with all their oils and dead flakes floating around.

He pushed open the door from the back, and had to suppress a shudder as the first sound he heard was the laughter of a child. Disgusting.

“Good afternoon, Levi!” Petra smiled at him, just clocking in, herself.

“It is afternoon, yes.” He pulled out his security badge, swiping it through the machine and waiting for the beep that said he was, in fact, there for his shift.

The redhead let out a light laughter; she had always been fond of his humor. “Hey, at least you won’t have to deal with that douchebag today. I can’t imagine he’d show up after the way you reamed him yesterday.”

Levi actually gave her a little smile, that thought was a bit of a relief. “Yeah, at least there’s that. Thanks, Petra.”

“Of course, sweets. I’ll see you at break like usual?” It wasn’t really a question, as he almost always ate his break in her café. He nodded toward her as she walked away, turning his attention back to his shift.

Mikasa was already there, having worked the opening shift. It wasn’t as crowded as he feared, but even so more than one big group had come in. The ancient armor exhibit had opened this weekend, and apparently everyone and their sister wanted to be a warrior. The first few hours of his break went by pretty fast, only having to get onto one pair of siblings for climbing into the exhibits.

The smugness of the girls reminded him of Eren and Jean, leaving his stomach sour. At least it only took one threatening look to scare them off and keep them on good behavior the rest of their trip. It was nearing four when Levi finally decided it had been long enough to take his break; the museum was closed by eight anyway.

He had barely settled into his seat, a bowl of the soup-of-the-day and a roll of French bread on the tray in front of him, before he noticed a familiar blond heading toward him. He couldn’t help letting out a sigh. It wasn’t that he disliked Armin; he actually didn’t mind his company. He was a good, fair boss, and he’d dare to venture that his superior was moving dangerously close to friend territory.

But he just wanted to eat in peace, for once.

“Oh? Soup today?” Levi didn’t say anything, simply breaking his bread open and gutting it. “Cheesy baked potato?”

“Yes.” He said nothing, dumping the extra cojack cheese – courtesy Petra – into the bowl and stirring it in, knowing it was too hot to eat yet, anyway. “I assume you didn’t come over here because you were interested in my soup.”

“Ah—that transparent, am I?” Armin laughed awkwardly, the sound dying down when Levi didn’t respond. “Right, uh, well,” He shifted onto the edge of the seat across from Levi, legs facing outward. “I’m not real sure where to begin.”

“You never struck me as someone who was anything less than outstanding with words.” Carefully, he dipped a chunk of the crust of his bread into the soup, cautiously slipping it into his mouth and finding it bearable.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true. Normally. It’s just…it’s about Eren.” His voice lowered, and Levi couldn’t deny the way tension washed over him.

“What about him? And why would I care?”

“Right, well. I went over to his apartment this morning. He was on the computer, and well he was looking up things…”

“And why do I care about his kinky-ass porn habits?” Levi didn’t miss a beat, casually continuing to eat.

“He was researching asexuality.”

Levi paused, mid-bite, and looked up at Armin. He was surprised, of course. He couldn’t help but be. It only lasted a moment before he returned to his soup and bread. “Well, good. Maybe he’ll refrain from harassing other aces he might come in contact with.”

“He’s not searching for the sake of other asexuals. He’s looking because of you.” Armin shifted, and Levi was certain he was uncomfortable doing this.

“What do you want me to say, Armin? Fucking good for him. He’s basic with a need to seek what has so clearly stated he can’t have. Did he put you up to this?”

“What—no,” Armin let out a little laugh at that. “No, of course not. Eren would never.” He shook his head, gesturing away with his hand. “Look, I’m just saying, I’ve never seen him try this hard just to be someone’s friend.” He rolled the thoughts around his head before they found their way to his tongue. “He just…doesn’t know how to handle not knowing how to do things. Or what something is. There’s something about you that makes him…”The blond trailed off, searching for his words.

“Want to rape me?” Levi finished for him, voice flat.

“—eh—well—” Armin let out a sigh of defeat, running his fingers through his hair before pushing to his feet. “Yeah, well, no one said he’s handled anything properly here. I’m just saying, he’s really trying. Just…” Slender fingers tapped the table top, “just think about what I said. Please.”

At Levi’s nod, Armin returned to his office to attempt to finish his work for the day. The security guard let out a sigh, thinking he’d finally be able to eat his meal in peace. Instead, he looked up to see a pair of familiar green eyes staring at him, and he couldn’t help but thinking how he’d like to pluck those pretty eyes from his skull and eat them.

“Fuck me…” Levi muttered with a heavy exhale.

“Hey, um,” Eren shuffled awkwardly toward him. “Can we talk?”

“Fuck you, I don’t want to talk to you. I thought I made that really damn clear.” He scooped a potato chunk into his mouth, finding most of his appetite gone. This only served to irritate him more.

“Please, I just – I’m really sorry, Levi. Really,” Eren moved toward him, reaching out pleadingly. “Please, just—”

The sound of his chair clattering to the ground was loud as Levi abruptly stood and gripped Eren’s wrist, pushing his arm to the side and twisting his fingers into the neck of his t-shirt, ignoring the way his brain noted the freshly washed smell drifting into his nostrils.

“If you don’t stop fucking harassing me, I’m going to kick your ass out of here – literally. I don’t care if you’re blondie’s brother.” Levi’s voice was a low growl, the dark glower behind his eyes unmistakable.

Eren paused, unable to miss the seriousness emanating from Levi; he swallowed hard and nodded slowly. Levi’s gripped loosened, pushing the brunet just so as he let go. The shorter man turned to Petra, at the counter, saying something to her before walking away and leaving just the two of them in the café.

Eren sighed, moving to the counter. “I guess he’s really not going to forgive me, huh?”

Petra said nothing for a moment, fighting the urge before letting out a sigh and finding that she couldn’t ignore him. Not when he looked like he was blaming himself for the fall of humanity.

“Well, you did fuck up pretty bad. If you had done that to me, he would have already beaten you within an inch of a life. But since it’s him, he—” She shook her head, as if deciding to keep the rest to herself. “You messed up kid, sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. I just…” He stared at his hands, squeezing the tip of his thumb as if it was suddenly interesting. “I just wish he’d give me a chance to prove I’m sorry.” His next words came out a mumble. “I just want to be his friend.”

Petra watched him a moment before nodding, her voice softening. “What can I get ya, babe?” She smiled softly at him. “On the house.”

Eren smiled at her, gratefully. He settled into a seat near the counter, sipping the mocha frappuccino she had given him. It hadn’t taken long for Levi to return, and when he had, Petra had taken another small loaf of bread to his table. Of course, Eren had watched the entire scene with a longing that was eating his intestines from the inside out.

He was surprised when Petra smiled stopping next to him and pretending she was giving him a bill, even though Levi never did glance toward them. “Just go talk to him, sweetie. Be honest.”

He sighed, nodded and hoped her encouragement might mean…something. He was pretty sure whatever hope he had gained was squashed as soon as he sat across from Levi and received the look again.

“I’m not sure how many ways I need to say this to get you to fucking understand. Go away. I don’t want to see you. I don’t like you. I don’t want to know you. You are a scourge on my life. I would have rathered never known you. You are dick that I do not want in my life—”

“I’m so sorry!” Eren’s voice was loud, head hanging as he stared down at the table, hands clenched together in his lap. “I’m so sorry, I never meant to—I mean, I know what I did and it was fucked up and I’m so sorry! I didn’t ever intend to do that – I’m really not like that. I was just…I was angry and frustrated and disappointed and I know that none of that matters because nothing justifies my behavior. But I’m really sorry. I haven’t stopped thinking about you – about what you said since yesterday.”

Eren paused, glancing up from underneath his bangs. His brows pressed in toward each other, green eyes pleading. “Please I just…I want to know more about you…Please…can we just try to be friends?”

Levi was stunned. The words had spilled from Eren’s lips so abruptly, so fervently, that he could only assume they were honest. They hadn’t sounded rehearsed, and the older man was certain he had noted a faint quiver to his voice. Then there was the fact that he was carrying a drink that Petra had given him, one that she had clearly added extra chocolate, whipped cream, and a dash of cinnamon to; something she only did for her favorites.

“That’s something you have to earn.” Levi sat back in his seat, licking his lips with clear frustration. He had just wanted to eat in peace. Even so, he had to fight down the smallest of smiles when Eren’s gaze shot up, his eyes beaming and a smile on his lips. Like a fucking puppy being praised by his master.

“So does that mean you’re going to give me a chance?”

Levi studied him for a moment, not that he had to look closely. Eren wore his emotions on his sleeve. But what he saw there, he hadn’t expected to see. In those bright green eyes, Levi saw…sincerity.

Pure, genuine, unadulterated sincerity.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Levi rubbed his fingers against his temples and up over his forehead. “Against my better judgement, apparently.” Before Eren could celebrate, Levi held his index finger up at him. “But if you fuck up again, that’s it. Last chance, period.”

Eren grinned so hard that Levi wondered if it hurt his cheeks. “So uh, we can exchange numbers, then, right? You know – so we can text!”

Levi let out an irritated sigh, staring at him with irk-filled disbelief. He pulled out his phone, checking the clock and noting that he was going to have to shovel down his food if he expected to be off break in time.

“If I give you my number, will you leave me the fuck alone?” He jabbed his phone at Eren, almost accusingly. The younger man only grinned, sliding his phone across the table so Levi could add his number to his contacts. He didn’t stay much longer, thanking him and apologizing again before leaving him to have his lunch.

“Shit, all I wanted was to fucking eat in peace.” He sighed, the smallest of smiles tugging at his lips as he typed in ‘asstwat’ above Eren’s number in his contact list. He looked up from his phone as a snickerdoodle, wrapped in syran wrap, was dropped on his table.

“Better be careful, Levi. People are going to think you’ve gone soft.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see, i told you Eren would get his shit together


	5. IF YOU WANT MORE, THEN HERE I AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the texting?

Levi couldn’t stop the heavy sigh that escaped his lips, even if he tried. His phone hadn’t stopped alerting him of messages for a week, now. He had silenced it the first day, only to get a frantic Hanji, Petra, and Erwin at his door wondering why he wasn’t answering any of his messages. It had been inconvenient, but he couldn’t really blame them, either. Not considering everything.

Even so, at this point he found himself growling and grumbling at his phone as if it was alive and personally bothering him. Hell, he was even starting to hate Sherlock from hearing the tone over and over.  Even Moffat, with his sexism and blatant disrespect for asexuality, hadn’t managed to quell his love for the detective.

Yet here he was, fingers gripping tightly around the mouth of his mug hard enough that he vaguely worried it would shatter.

Admittedly, the first many messages were questioning if he had gotten the right number or not. Levi hadn’t bothered to respond for a few hours, so he couldn’t really blame Eren for that one. He also hadn’t realized he had signed up for non-stop attempts at communication. At least when the other was home, luckily it seemed that the brunet had started work again.

But it was the weekend and apparently everyone and their mother was off work today. Eren and Levi included. And the raven had spent his very tired morning listening to his damn phone going off. He had replied a few times hoping it’d subdue the kid. It hadn’t.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he released his grip on his mug, his fingertips having become adhered from the pressure and heat. Grabbing his droid – because no fucking way was he going to pay some four hundred bucks for an iPhone just to have a shitty apple on it – and swiped over the screen to unlock it. Having a message from asstwat was somehow much less amusing than it had originally been.

“Needy little shit…” Levi grumbled to himself as he accessed his messages. He didn’t even bother reading the older ones nor was he surprised they were all from Eren.

**[ASSTWAT 1:30PM] Hey a bunch of us are going to the movies. Wanna come?**  
**[LEVI 2:02PM] why would i want to see a movie with a bunch of brats**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:03PM] Come on, it’ll be fun!**  
**[LEVI 2:03PM] no**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:05PM] Please?**  
**[LEVI 2:05PM] no**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:06PM] How are we supposed to be friends if you won’t hang out with me? :D**  
**[LEVI 2:06PM] exactly**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:07PM] Oh.**

Levi let out a breath he hadn’t been aware had taken residence in his lungs. He thought for sure that was the end of it. He felt the smallest, very deniable twinge of guilt inside his chest; he knew full well what that simple ‘oh’ meant. Still, he didn’t let it bother him, sliding the phone away and turning back to his laptop, certain that was it; only to be proven wrong when his phone dinged again.  
  
**[ASSTWAT 2:09PM] Please? I’m sure you’ll like it!**  
**[LEVI 2:10PM] what movie**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:10PM] HTTYD2**  
**[LEVI 2:11PM] fine.**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:12PM] Wait what? Really?**  
**[LEVI 2:12PM] i can take it back if youd rather**

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips; he couldn’t help but enjoy toying with the brunet a bit. He was amusing, at least.  
  
**[ASSTWAT 2:13PM] AWESOME! I’ll come get you now!**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:15PM] Umm…**  
**[LEVI 2:16PM] want my address dumbass?**  
**[ASSTWAT 2:16PM] That would be nice, yes.**

This time a small chuckle escaped as he shook his head and typed up the address to his apartment complex. Eren would have to figure out directions on his own. It wasn’t like it was difficult, really. Even so, maybe it was a small test of sorts?

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Eren found himself pulling into the parking lot of Titan Apartment Complex. He had been passing these buildings every day on his way to work, and to the museum, without ever having an inkling that Levi was there. Then again, until very recently he hadn’t even known of Levi’s existence.

Still, it was only a thirty minute drive if he didn’t drive how he normally drove. It was close. Close enough to visit whenever he so chose. He wondered what it meant for he and Levi, if he’d be able to see him more. If someday he’d be able to drop by unannounced just to say hello. He shook his head; no way would the older man approve of that.

_One step at a time, Eren._

Before he could get too swept up by thoughts of seeing Levi whenever he wanted, the object of his mind appeared. Eren paused awkwardly, his hand still raised to knock on the door that the shorter man had just come out of.

“Twenty minutes, huh?” Levi licked his lips, and Eren couldn’t help but think he seemed so…unamused.

Then again, Eren also couldn’t help but thinking how damn good he looked. He wasn’t even dressed up, simple jeans, chucks, and a black v-neck t-shirt. Still, Levi wore casual well. _Really well_.

 _Not that it matters._ The brunet let out a silent sigh.

“Yeah, who knew? Well, I mean, it should take like thirty but uh,” Eren grinned, scratching the back of his head and speaking before he realized what he was actually saying, “I like to go fast.”

“I noticed.” Levi deadpanned, pushing past him and toward the parking lot.

“Wait I—” Eren could feel his cheeks heat up; he really should think from time to time. “Shit.”

He followed Levi, wondering how the security guard knew which car was his. It wasn’t like it screamed early twenties bachelor. Hell, Jean had made fun of him for having a ‘mom car’; like that was fair, not everyone could have a ’67 Impala, horseface. Eren could only assume that his car was the only unfamiliar one.

The brunet unlocked the car and slipped into the driver’s seat. He watched as Levi opened the door, nose crinkling and lips pulling back with disgust as he looked inside. Okay, so maybe his car wasn’t the cleanest, Eren couldn’t deny that. Even so, he could almost laugh at the way the raven threw the napkin that was in the seat into the back, using only his fingertips to touch things as if he was afraid of being contaminated.

Try as he might, Eren couldn’t help but laugh. Levi’s attention snapped to him, eyes narrowing.

“Fucking filthy.”

Eren snorted, shifting his car into reverse and turning in his seat. “Yeah, yeah, sorry about that, Mr. Clean.”

The two rode in silence, the music playing whatever the local rock radio station decided to. The music did little to relieve the awkwardness. Honestly, Eren was still surprised that Levi had agreed to come. Fuck, he was still surprised that he had agreed to talk to him at all ever again.

“So, you like kids’ movies?” It wasn’t really much of a question, he had already assumed as much. He just desperately needed to break the silence between them before it suffocated him.

“Not really.”

“That’s cool, I like them, too.” Eren didn’t take his eyes off the road, continuing on as if Levi had said nothing.

“I said I don’t.”

Eren quirked an eyebrow; he could feel those steely eyes on him. “Uh-huh. And yet you were fervently refusing to come with me until I told you what movie we were seeing.” He took a moment to glance over at Levi knowingly.

“I only came because I thought it’d make you shut the fuck up. Clearly I was wrong.”

“Personally, I really loved Tangled. Flynn is pretty awesome. Er, well I did. Jean and Armin dressed up as Flynn and Rapunzel last year, and well, walking in on them fucking in costume changed my whole outlook on the movie.” Eren paused when he heard Levi snort. There was no smile or laugh, but something about it left the brunet feeling lighter, happier. Whether it was because his passenger was amused, or just listening, he couldn’t say.

“But really, I still love the older ones, y’know? Like Hunchback, or Rock-A-Doodle. Guess I’m a sucker for musicals or something.”

Levi crossed his arms over his chest, turning his body to face toward the door, eyes on the road and buildings blurring by. “I told you, kids’ movies aren’t a thing to me. Why the fuck would I care about some elvis rooster and a dumbass cat that looks like my boss?”

The brunet couldn’t help but smile; Levi could deny it all he wanted, but he clearly knew the movie and Eren thought he saw a small smile on his lips as he turned away.

“Whatever you say, sho—” Eren stopped mid-word, noting the way Levi’s attention snapped to him. “I uh, I mean we’re here!” He let out a nervous laugh, a heavy breath pushing from his lips as Levi stepped out from the car.

The walk to the theater was short, and Eren wasn’t surprised to see everyone waiting for him. They had already paid for their tickets, and since the theater seemed pretty empty, no one cared that they were loitering. Immediately, he noticed Sasha and Connie huddled against the wall, looking around like they were fucking burglars or something.

Sasha was wearing a jacket, and Eren couldn’t help but wonder how she wasn’t melting. It was t-shirt weather at best. Then he noticed her heat-flushed cheeks, and did Connie just pull a bag of peanut m&ms from her boobs? He snorted, shaking his head softly. Of course she had her jacket stuffed full of enough goodies to feed an army.

“Bout time you got here!” Jean hailed him, grinning and not making a move to detach himself from his place pressed against Armin’s back.

“Heh, sorry, had a little detour.” Eren grinned, jabbing his thumb at Levi. Suddenly he had everyone’s attention.

“Ooh, this the new boy toy~?” Ymir grinned, her sharp eyes narrowing above her tanned, freckled cheeks as she hung off her short as fuck girlfriend.

“Ymir—” Historia jabbed her in the ribs, pressing her lips together with displeasure with her girlfriend.

“What? We all know it’s been too damn long since green eyes over there got some dick.” Ymir only laughed, oblivious to, or just not caring about, the obvious tension that had settled over them.

“Ymir it’s not – we’re not – it’s not like that!” Eren could feel the panic rising up in him, wondering what Levi thought he had said about him; wondering if he’d leave because of freckled satan.

“I’m going to get my ticket.” Levi’s voice was even, his hands shoved in his pockets as he turned toward the ticket seller. Calm as he seemed, Eren knew better than to think that’s how he actually felt.

“Oh, here I’ll—”

“I got it, I can pay for myself. This isn’t a fucking date, Eren.”

Eren froze, swallowing hard. It was the first time Levi had actually said his name, and instead of inciting the excitement it should have, it left him feeling nauseous. The shorter man wasn’t just upset, he was pissed. It probably wouldn’t matter even if the brunet did explain that he hadn’t mentioned him to anyone.

“Right…” Eren’s voice was quiet, nodding softly as he followed Levi to the line to get his ticket as well. He hadn’t noticed the other’s leaving, but once they had their tickets he turned to find everyone gone. More than likely Armin’s doing, being the only one that really knew anything that had happened. Well, Jean probably knew, too, considering.

It didn’t take long to go through concessions, opting to just get drinks since Sasha had clearly brought enough food for everyone. Eren was a little surprised to find the theater completely empty but for his group of friends. He also noticed Annie and Mina sitting with the others; the blonde likely hadn’t cared to wait outside.

Levi tried to push past him to pick his seat, but Eren reached out to grab his wrist. His fingers barely grazed the skin before he remembered what happened last time, jerking his hand back in apology.

“Hey…” His voice was quiet, even so he felt like everyone in the world was watching him, as if the theater being empty meant his voice was broadcast.

“What?” Levi’s voice was short, impatient.

“I just…” Eren’s eyes stayed focused on the ground, and he had to make effort to keep his feet from shifting awkwardly. “Sorry…about what they said.”

Levi only stared at him a moment, judging his sincerity, before nodding and heading up the stairs to the row with Eren’s friends.

They settled in, Levi on the outermost seat and Eren next to him. The brunet had noticed that he hadn’t said anything, barely acknowledging anyone’s existence since they had sat down. He wondered if he was upset or if that was just the way the raven was. He was leaning toward the latter, a smile creeping onto his face when his not!date claimed a box of chocolate covered raisins from Sasha.

The theater grew dark, Eren shifting back in his seat as the movie started, his feet pressed against the top of the seat in front of him. Not surprisingly, his friends didn’t do much by way of shutting the fuck up; well, other than Annie and Mina who he assumed had found some dark corner in which to make out. His noisy friends had never much bothered him before, but he felt some need to impress Levi.

Well, that, and the fact that he had never seen the raven haired man so...focused. His eyes were intent on the screen before them, not even looking at the box as he poured raisins into his hands. It was like the first time he and Armin had seen Rocky Horror Picture Show; he’d never seen someone so into a movie. Vaguely, he wondered if Levi was this was with all movies.

Not surprisingly, it hadn’t taken long for Levi to grab his drink and move the back row and away from the noise. Even less surprising was the fact that Eren found himself following him. Armin had grabbed his wrist, looking at him questioningly. The brunet could only smile and shrug, his brother giving him a somehow encouraging smile in the dark.

They were in one of the bigger theaters, and Eren had to climb half of it just to reach the top. Even in the dark, he couldn’t miss the way Levi was focused on the screen. He sat with his legs crossed, pulled up into the seat with his elbows on his knees, his chin resting in his linked fingers.

“Um, can I sit with you?” He whispered uncertainly, feeling as if maybe he was intruding.

“As long as you can shut the fuck up.” Levi grabbed his drink, moving it from the left cup holder to the right.

Eren nodded, smiling as he sat next to him, putting his feet on the seatback again. As much as he tried to watch the movie, his eyes kept returning to the other man. It was as if watching him enjoy the movie was better than actually enjoying the movie himself. Despite his expectation, Levi never did tell him to stop fucking look at him.

Then, he realized that it wasn’t because he didn’t care, he was just too into the movie to even notice. Levi was a generally stoic man, something Eren had learned quickly. At first he thought he was just cold, but having known Mikasa, well it wasn’t hard to figure out the truth. Even so, if he looked hard enough the emotions were obvious. And then she said it.

“ _A mother never forgets…_ ”

Eren’s eyes widened as he watched Levi’s expression shift. His thin brows furrowed, eyes widening ever so slightly, and he couldn’t miss the way he pulled his lips in, biting the bottom one between his teeth. Even with the piercings, he looked like some sort of pouting puppy. Part of him wanted to laugh at the raven haired man for getting so emotional over a kids’ movie that he swore he didn’t care about, but mostly he felt something in him melting.

It took all of his willpower to turn back to the movie. He wanted to watch him. Read him when he was actually showing how he felt. Most of all, he wanted to know what he was thinking. But they were just friends, he had to keep reminding himself.

_And barely that._

Once he actually bothered to watch the movie, time passed quickly enough. After the movie, the others had suggested going out to eat. It wasn’t the first time the group all went out together; they could be a bit obnoxious but everyone tipped so there were never any complaints.

Eren was about to accept their offer when he noticed Levi crossing his arms over his chest, shifting a bit and looking anywhere but the group. Most people probably saw it as cold or callous, but the brunet noticed a certain air of anxiety about him. He had noticed it earlier, too, when they had first met up with everyone.

He smiled, declining their offer and giving some excuse about having to work in the morning. It wasn’t a lie, but it had nothing to do with his refusal. Armin took it for what it was, ensuring no one pushed, and they went their separate ways. Really, Eren could never be thankful enough to whatever force put the blond in his life.

“You could have gone with them.” Levi looked over at him, almost suspiciously, as he got into the car.

Eren didn’t let his surprise show, smiling as he started up the car. “Nah, it’s not a big deal. We go out to eat all the time.” _I’d rather you be comfortable, anyway._

Levi didn’t say anything in response, simply settling in and putting on his seatbelt, pushing the shoulder strap behind him. They had always bothered the fuck out of him. They never seemed to bother Hanji or Erwin, though Petra did the same as he did. He couldn’t help but wonder if seatbelt companies had some sort of grudge against short people.

“So did you have fun?” Eren hesitated a moment before adding, “Or at least enjoy the movie?”

He glanced over at Levi to see him shrug, turning to look out of the window. It almost seemed as if he was sulking, sad even. He figured Levi probably didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t even want to know him, really. Even so, he couldn’t shut up.

“It was pretty unrealistic finding his mother like that.” Levi didn’t take his eyes from the window, not really looking at the world passing by. “Especially the way they just reconnected after twenty years.”

Eren let out a little laugh, probably more amused than he should be. “It’s a movie about fucking dragons and you’re worried about realism?”

Levi harrumphed, keeping his arms crossed over his chest and back toward the driver’s side.

“What did you really think, Levi?” He kept his eyes on the road, fingers gripping the steering wheel. “I could tell you…felt something.” Levi didn’t respond, didn’t even turn to look at him; Eren stifling the sigh it brought up in him. “Did it make you think of your mom or something?”

Levi didn’t respond, even as they pulled into the parking lot in front of his apartment. Eren smirked as he put the car into park, the grin evident in his voice when he turned to the other.

“What, were you just a momma’s boy growing up?”

The glare Levi shot Eren sent chills down his spine. He didn’t speak, didn’t flinch when he aggressively unbuckled his seatbelt, the metal banging violently against the glass of the window. His silence was worse than any fuck you he could have given the brunet, slamming the door behind him in a way that left Eren speechless and knowing better than to follow him.

* * *

It had been a few hours since he and Eren had parted, and a scalding shower that left his skin red and raw had done much to make him forget the sour way the visit had ended. He had long since eaten, scrubbed his kitchen spotless, and settled onto the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and mini-marshmallows. Erwin had made fun of him more than once for it, but he never could get into coffee. He couldn’t stand the way it clung to a person’s breath.

Even so, he couldn’t stop the sigh when his phone alerted him of a text message. He held onto some hope that it was one of his _friends_ , but he knew the truth. As expected, he was disappointed to see that it was from Eren.

**[ASSTWAT 9:17PM] Hey…I’m sorry about earlier.  
[LEVI 9:19PM] its fine**

It wasn’t fine.

**[ASSTWAT 9:20PM] Levi, um…why did it upset you so much?**  
**[LEVI 9:20PM] does it really matter**  
**[ASSTWAT 9:21PM] I…I guess not? You don’t have to tell me. I just…I want to know…sorry.**

Levi let out a sigh as he read the message over a few more times. He had said that before, that he wanted to know him. Know more about him. He licked his lips, thumb hovering over the touchpad keyboard hesitantly. Eren was trying; it was blatantly obvious that he was trying.

**[LEVI 9:23PM] i never had a mother  
[ASSTWAT 9:24PM] Oh. Oh wow, Levi. I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.**

Levi found a small chuckle escaping his lips. He could imagine the level of I’m-the-biggest-fucking-jackass-in-the-world Eren felt at the moment, and, well, it was amusing.

**[LEVI 9:27PM] dont worry about it kid. never knew my mom. either of my parents, actually. *shrugs* i was fostered when I was pretty young, some dickbag id rather have no association with. i was just a convenient paycheck, and when he realized i was a damn fine resource, well, he made it official and gave me his name. just another poor orphan sob story.**

He wasn’t even sure why he was telling Eren all of this. He barely talked about it, though his friends all knew; Erwin most of all. Even so, Levi hated talking about it. Hated the way the anger still boiled up under his skin. It was a past he’d long buried, but buried or not, it was still there. It had been a few minutes and he was starting to wonder if he’d scared him off.

**[ASSTWAT 9:32PM] Levi..?  
[LEVI 9:32PM] hm?**

_Here it comes._

Levi waited for the inevitable response. An apology. It was always an apology. An ‘oh you poor thing’, ‘that must’ve been so hard’, ‘I’m so sorry you had to suffer that.’ It always left him sighing, feeling like it was nothing but obligatory pity. He hated it.

**[ASSTWAT 9:33PM] Thanks for telling me ^^**

Thanks…Thanks? A…thank you? Levi only stared at his phone for a moment, brain struggling to truly comprehend the simple words he was reading.

**[LEVI 9:34PM] don’t think too much of it**

_Oh…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry. filler chapter?
> 
> also if i hadnt made it clear, my tumblr is [jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle](jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle.tumblr.com) so if you have anything you want to ask about pertaining to the story ~~or not~~ then my ask box is always open. seriously, it makes my day to hear what you guys think either here or tumblr.


	6. BABY, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR ARMOR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title sounds sexual and it was not my intent ಠ_ಠ
> 
> i'm imagining [something like this](http://kevin-ryan.tumblr.com/post/45202807328/kuroshio-sea-second-largest-aquarium-tank-in-the) for the aquarium in this chapter
> 
> also look at [THIS AMAZING FANART](http://mc-jaeger.tumblr.com/post/99520450016/as-much-as-he-tried-to-watch-the-movie-his-eyes) that [mcdouchebag](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mc_jaeger/) made for chapter 5

It had been two weeks since their little experimental hangout at the movies – Levi still wondered if the other saw that as a date – and Eren hadn't let up in the least. He never went a day without getting messages from the brunet, and he had come to expect the hope-you-have-a-wonderful-fucking-day messages in the morning. They had been fluffier at first until Levi bluntly reminded him they were just friends.

To his credit, Eren didn't argue and simply did as was asked. It was completely different than the way he had been when they had first met. He had expected the brat to revert to his initial obnoxiousness, but had been pleasantly disappointed. For the most part, he had been respectful and even though he was still obviously interested in Levi for more than just friendship, he hadn’t once pushed toward anything more.

Hell, he had even apologized anytime anyone made jokes or hinted at them being an item; more often than not those came from Jean. Even when they were obviously just jokes that held no serious merit, Eren apologized to him for it. Levi found it...endearing.

So much so that he had somehow been coerced into going on this little field trip. It wasn’t anything new when the brunet had showed up at the museum, as he often did since the two had had their rather interesting first encounter. He had brought a bag full of sweets from the bakery to distribute among the few employees, as was normal at this point. Eren never showed up empty-handed.

When he finally came out and suggested they all go out together, after placating everyone with sugar, no one argued. Levi wanted to, oh did he want to, but Hanji hooked her arm around his shoulder and gave him no options for getting out of this.

She had been right, of course. They didn’t spend much time outside of work anymore, and Petra and Erwin chimed in that it would be good for him to get out of his apartment. Get some fresh air and escape the cleaning fumes, as they so gently put it.

And so here he was, staring up at the wrought iron gate that read ‘Trost Zoo and Aquarium.’ None of them had been here since they were children. Levi could only remember visiting once with his class in middle school, and most of those memories consisted of teachers asking him about his bruises. Back then, they didn’t even have the aquarium.

“This is going to be _so much fun_!” Hanji’s voice rang through his head, something he should be used to at this point. “I wonder if they’ll let me hold the reptiles!”

“Hanji, no—”

Levi snorted, cutting off Moblit’s concerned protest with the sound. “Like that’s ever stopped her, Moburrito. You sure you want to marry into crazy?”

Moblit didn’t miss a beat, grinning mischievously at the shorter man. “I love crazy.”

Levi rolled his eyes as Hanji cooed, kissing her fiancé before the crazy returned to her eyes. He had to give him credit, really. He hadn’t been sure about Moblit at first, even with the way he was tied into his history the same as Petra, Hanji, and Erwin. But he had proven he could handle Hanji, when she was crazy and when she wasn’t. Hell, he could more than handle her. He complimented her. And he didn’t run away scared when he had met Levi, Mike, and Erwin. At the same time.

They were more intimidating than any dad with a shotgun.

“Marco!” Mikasa’s voice, with a hint of excitement that he rarely heard from her, pulled Levi from his memories.

He wasn’t real surprised to see the tall, strong, freckled man striding toward them in his khakis and cardigan. Really? A cardigan? It wasn’t that cold, most of them still wearing t-shirts. Even Levi had the sleeve’s of his shirt pushed up to his elbows. It was early September and had yet to have their annual temperature dip to usher fall in.

“Who is that?” Eren’s voice was quiet, with a bit of a growl to it. His eyes darkened as he watched Mikasa wrap her arms around the new kid, his lips gently pressing against her cheek.

“That’s Marco.” Jean shrugged, impatient to not just be the creepy older group loitering at the entrance.

“Yeah, I got that, horseface.”

“I told you about him, Eren, remember? He’s Mikasa’s…well I don’t know yet.” Armin laid his head against Jean’s shoulder, watching and waiting. He knew exactly what was going to happen and that even though he’d be there to diffuse the situation, nothing was going to prevent it.

“Yeah, okay, but why is he _here_.” Eren grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Levi only rolled his eyes, pushing his sleeves up out of habit, inked skin peeking out from beneath the blue cotton.

“He’s here because I invited him, Eren.” Mikasa smiled, eyes snapping to him before he could protest. “Just like Armin invited Jean.”

“Except we all know Jean cause Jean and Armin have been dating fore—” Eren’s voice cut off as Hanji literally pushed him out of the way.

“So this is tall dark and freckled that I’ve heard about?” Hanji smiled, leaning a little too close for comfort as she examined him, ignoring the way Mikasa’s cheeks flushed. The brunette probably didn’t even realize that she had so openly announced that the stoic woman had talked about Marco.

Mikasa’s mouth opened to speak, but she paused as Erwin was suddenly at attention.

“Hold the introductions, here’s the rest of our group.” He grinned, lifting a hand well above the head of anyone in the group, hailing over two blonds in the distance. Mike and Nanaba smiled to the group, settling in near Erwin. “Okay, as you were.”

“This is Marco,” Mikasa smiled, a little flushed and embarrassed. From the looks on Armin, Eren, and Jean’s faces, Levi wasn’t the only one that was surprised by this. “My, uh, my boyfriend.”

“Right, can’t wait to hear all about pretty boy and his fucking douchey cardigan.” Eren’s voice was irritated, never one to hold back.

“Don’t be a jerk, Eren.” Mikasa’s voice was concise, fingers slipping into Marco’s.

Levi had to hold back his laughter at the way that Eren grumbled, glaring up at the newcomer. He had met Marco a few times, himself, and couldn’t say he got anything even as much as bad vibes. Seemed like a nice kid, really, and he did a lot for people who couldn’t help themselves. He had seen him around the museum even when Mikasa wasn’t there, helping with the kids he had rescued.

Honestly, he thought the fact that this guy was pretty great only bothered Eren more. Levi quirked an eyebrow as he watched them. He was jealous?

_Well that’s amusing._

“What’s so great about this guy?” It was exactly what Levi had expected Eren to say, yet he wasn’t real surprised when it came from Auruo instead.

“Stop trying to be cool!” Petra jabbed her elbow into her fiancé’s side.

“Oh, uh, well.” Mikasa blushed again, not liking being put on the spot. Or the way her feelings showed when she didn’t want them to.

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” Marco stepped up, and suddenly Levi was a little more interested in this kid. “Um, I work with victims of domestic abuse and human trafficking, mostly children. I like reading when it rains, playing in the snow, and I hate Chinese food.” Forced laughter came from his dark lips; he was clearly trying to diffuse the situation but with the way Mikasa was giving him heart eyes, Levi didn’t really see that happening.

“Who the fuck doesn’t like Chinese food! What the fuck is wr—” Levi grabbed Eren’s arm, pulling him in the opposite direction of Mikasa and toward the zoo.

“Can we get going before this turns into a sister complex that we’re all uncomfortable with? Cause that’d be fucking great.”

Hanji’s laughter rang out over them, the group finally beginning to move into the zoo. They moved past the penguin and polar bear exhibit pretty quickly, losing interest when they realized that most of them had moved into the inner area because of the warmth.

“Let’s go see the reptiles!” Levi rolled his eyes as Hanji spoke, unsurprised. “Come on they’re so cool! I mean lizards regrow their tails! How cool is that – can you imagine if people were able to harness that ability? Think of all the soldiers on the field or kids that fought with cancer—”

“Yeah, no way for _that_ to go wrong.” Levi rolled his eyes, following them reluctantly into the darkened room.

The zoo was fairly empty, only a few people here and there that weren’t employees. It wasn’t all that surprising; most people would be at work this time of day on a weekday, which was exactly why Armin had taken the opportunity to close the museum for a half day. He had only grinned when asked about it, saying there were some perks to being the owner.

Levi was more than a little thankful that there weren’t that many people. He hated people, generally. They were loud and filthy and obnoxious and he saw no reason to be around them more than he had to.

People made him…uncomfortable.

Even so, being forced into the reptile exhibit was doing nothing to keep him calm, or even remotely okay. The reptile exhibit was hot and humid, the air heavy and the darkness all-consuming. The only light in the entire exhibit was that coming from the tanks of the creatures, heat lamps used to imitate the warmth and sun of their natural habitats.

The deeper into the exhibit they got, the more he could feel it growing, eating at him. Slowly, the sounds of the other’s voices died down to nothing more than murmurs, blood filling his ears and leaving him all but deaf to the world. He could feel it crawling under his skin, a tingling that left him restless, an itch under his flesh that no matter how hard he might dig, he couldn’t scratch it.

His stomach grew heavy, churning and grating as what felt like concrete settled inside his gut, his heart clenching and lodging itself into his throat. He could feel his body growing hot, his pupils dilating and refusing to focus. He wanted to scream, fight and flee and destroy this _thing_ that was devouring him, but his mouth wouldn’t work, voice caught in lungs that suddenly stopped working and his mind reeling as it desperately tried to remember how to breathe.

“Levi?”

Steel eyes, wide and pupils blown, snapped up as Eren called out to him. He looked worried; how long had he been calling out to him?

“I – I have to go…somewhere.” It was a shitty explanation but it was the best he could muster, feet moving him toward the exit, pulling him faster until he was sprinting from the dark depths into the bright outdoors.

It was overcast, but even so the light was blinding. The air was refreshingly light, the breeze cool against his skin. It should have been an instantaneous relief, yet it remained. And so he continued to run. The freedom had stopped the descent, but it wasn’t until he found himself bathed in a blue light that he could breathe again.

His feet slowed to a walk, eyes narrowing with focus and eyebrows relaxing as he took in his surroundings, gulping down air as his lungs began to function properly. Floor to ceiling and back again, there was nothing but water. Bright, blue water that went as far as the eye could see, filled with aquatic creatures of all sizes swimming majestically through the water, even overhead.

He kept walking until he couldn’t see the entrance anymore, a calm coming over him. It was cool here, and even though he was surrounded by enough water to crush him, nothing more than glass to protect him, he found it completely and utterly relaxing. Tranquil, even.

Moving closer the glass, he pulled his knees to his chest as he sat in a small alcove that allowed him to gaze upon the beautiful creatures – currently a whale shark was seemingly showing off for him – without having to deal with any of the few people that might come through. It was a perk to being small; if Erwin found him like this he’d surely never heard the end of it.

“Levi?”

He nearly jumped, but found he was too calm for that. Or maybe the voice wasn’t all that startling. His eyes turned to see Eren, and found he wasn’t that surprised. Levi didn’t say anything, turning his eyes back to the water. The younger male didn’t seem to mind, simply taking a seat in the small space next to his feet, eyes gazing into the depths.

“I like it here.” Levi’s voice was quiet, but he knew Eren heard. He could feel him looking at him. “It’s…relaxing. Heh, anxiety-free-zone.” He rolled his eyes, voice holding no mirth.

Eren’s teeth worried his bottom lip, green eyes focused on Levi. “Is that…what that was?”

“Yeah.” Levi shrugged nonchalantly, looking at Eren out of the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction. Most people didn’t understand anxiety, didn’t understand that it wasn’t just being nervous, and it wasn’t something logical or controllable. The people who understood were the people who suffered it, he knew that.

He couldn’t help but be surprised when Eren simply nodded, almost looking guilty.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Shut up, Eren. This isn’t on you.” A small smile tugged at his lips, softening his words.

Eren shifted, leaning his back against the glass wall and stretching his legs out in front of him. “Still…I know it’s not fun.”

Levi’s brows furrowed, waiting for him to elaborate. When Eren didn’t, he turned back to the aquarium. He knew it was better not to push.

_So the kid’s dealt with it, too…didn’t expect that._

Silence settled over them, Levi watching through the glass next to him and Eren’s eyes gazing out across the walkway and over the ceiling. It was…comfortable. There was no pressing need to speak or fill the void. Nor did the raven-haired man find himself with the urge to be alone or secluded. It reminded him of time spent with Erwin or Hanji – except she never shut up.

“You know, I feel kind of sorry for them.” Eren’s voice was quiet, head resting against the glass and eyes gazing into the water above him.

“Hm?”

“Not just the fish. All of the animals here. Outside of their natural environment, freedom stolen from them. Forced to live inside these walls. It’s like they’re…trapped.”

Levi stared at him for a moment before he realized he was being absolutely serious. He didn’t even try to fight it, an ugly snort pushing from him and turning into laughter. Eren looked at him with surprise and uncertainty, which only made it all the more amusing.

“Well at least I know my stalker is a softie, not some creepo that’s killed a dozen men.”

Eren shrugged casually, turning his eyes back to the water above him. “Nah, just one.”

Levi froze, turning to him and suddenly it was a little less amusing. He didn’t think he’d ever heard him be so completely serious. “Wait, what?”

Eren shifted, feeling awkward and realizing he probably shouldn’t have said that. But his mouth had a habit of happening, a trait he and Jean shared apparently. “Uh, yeah, it was awhile ago. It’s not really that big a deal.”

“How about fuck that and you fucking tell me because no fucking way am I going to let some psychotic kid keep stalking me.”

Eren let out a sigh, green eyes glancing toward Levi before turning to look at his hands, fingers fidgeting again.

“It’s not like that. I went to the hospital a lot with mom when was younger – she’s a nurse—especially during the summer. There was this little girl that came in a lot, I guess. She was there again, sick. She wouldn’t eat and she wouldn’t talk to anyone. Well, mom sent me up to visit her. I don’t know, maybe she thought it’d help since we were around the same age or something?”

Eren looked over at Levi again, the older man watching intently and focused on his every word, every reaction. The brunet squirmed, finding it a lot more uncomfortable when he read him versus when Armin did it.

“Well, I went into her room without knocking, alone, and…well,” He turned his eyes back to the aquarium across the walkway, not really seeing it. “I found her ‘dad’…y’know…” He crinkled his nose, swallowing hard as he remembered all too vividly the way his large hand slipped under her robe. “I just…reacted. There was one of those carts with all the tools and medicine and shit? There was a scalpel and…”

“What did you do, Eren?” He was more curious than anything, but judging by the way the brunet winced it must’ve sounded harsher than intended.

“I may or may not have sorta stabbed him in the neck.” Eren let out a soft sigh, staring at the sharks swimming above him. “He fell to the floor, and I pulled her away from him and to me. She was so…small…” He shook his head softly, licking his lips before he continued. “It didn’t take long for people to take notice. They examined her properly after that and found…clear signs of abuse, and neglect. She had been in the system for a few years already, and didn’t have any family to go to. She wouldn’t talk to anyone but me, and when the chance came up, Mom insisted we adopt her.”

“Well I guess that explains the little sibling complex you two seem to have going on.”

Eren smiled softly, shrugging. “Yeah, I guess. It took a couple years before she was really able to be on her own. Having Armin around helped. But I guess I can’t help being protective of her still.”

“And of course she is protective of you, who saved her life.” Eren only nodded in response. “How old were you?”

Green eyes squinted, looking at Levi as if afraid of how he’d respond. “Um…thirteen? Mikasa’s a year older.”

Levi hummed his acknowledgement, pushing to his feet and tucking his hands into his jeans’ pockets, Eren catching a glimpse of the black band of ink around his right middle finger before it dipped beneath the rough dark blue material.

“Oh great, so I’m just being stalked by a child-murderer?” He quirked an eyebrow as he glanced down at the brunet, who still sat in the alcove.

Eren sat up, suddenly at attention, hands gesturing his worry. “What –no –it’s not like that!”

A smile pulled at Levi’s lips, a genuine smile and not just a result of amusement. His hand settled on top Eren’s head, long fingers dipping into his soft hair. “Relax kid, it was justified.” He pulled his hand back as he stepped toward the exit, but not before he noticed the surprised blush on the brunet’s cheeks.

He paused before rounding the corner, slipping his hand back into his pocket and turning back toward Eren. “You coming?”

“Y-yeah! Sorry!” Eren grinned, pushing to his feet and running after him.

The two walked in mostly silence, eyes wondering the aquarium until they found their way out and into the open. It was vaguely surprising that they had been in there so long, most of which was spent in silence. Levi paused long enough to check his phone, seeing he had a message from Hanji.

 **[THE MADNESS 1:32PM] hey we’re meeting for lunch if you’re not too busy** (눈‿눈✿)

Levi rolled his eyes and relayed the message, or at least the part that was necessary. It didn’t take long for them to reach the agreed upon lunch area. Everyone had already gathered and had started doling out sandwiches and chips. It wasn’t exciting, but thanks to Armin, at least they didn’t have to go buy some greasy half-assed excuses for hamburgers that had questionable meat content.

“Eren, Levi!” Armin smiled, hailing them over and pulling out two more turkey hoagies as they neared. “What kind of chips?” He handed Eren a small bag of cool ranch Doritos, looking up at Levi and waiting for a response.

“I don’t really give a fuck.”

Armin let out a little laugh, holding out a bag of regular Doritos. “Good because that’s all I have left.”

Levi took the small bag, settling in next to Hanji. Everyone drifted into conversations amongst themselves. He found himself observing, mostly. As usual.

Eren was sitting across from him, attempting to actually hold a conversation with Marco, a bit to his surprise. Maybe talking about what had happened had helped him realize that he was being a borderline-creepy-overprotective turd. Even so, Levi noticed the frustration visibly building in him. Not that he could blame him with the way Mikasa kept interrupting him to talk Marco up. It was pretty out of character for her, and he was nearly certain it was her way of dealing with the awkwardness of introducing her short-tempered brother to what was probably her first boyfriend – a boyfriend that she was clearly already in love with.

Levi shook his head, noting the way Eren’s body was tensing, his jaw visibly clenching through the conversation. At least he tried, but it wouldn’t be long before he snapped.

“So Le—vi,” Hanji’s voice sang out, pulling on his attention. “Where’d you two disappear to for so long~?” She grinned, lifting her brows and poking him in the side; his ability to control his ticklishness leaving her ever-disappointed.

Levi fought down the smirk that was tugging at his lips, noting the way that Mikasa and Eren had turned their attention to him, a confused Marco sitting between them.

“Oh, you know. I was just plowing Eren behind the aquarium.”

Hanji’s laughter covered most of the other’s reaction, the sound bursting from her chest as she ungracefully choked on her food.

“I’ll fu _cking kill you_!” Mikasa’s response was the only one louder than Hanji’s, her voice a growl and her eyes darkening. If looks could fucking kill than he was sure he’d be skewered through the ass right about now. She had literally attempted to dive across the table at him, Marco’s arms around her waist and holding her back as he tried to calm her down.

His eyes shifted to Eren, who was lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. Even so, the tension was gone from him. The brunet smiled at him from across the table, lips barely moving enough to read.

‘Thank you.’

Levi smiled a small, barely noticeable smile, casually winking at Eren before turning his attention back to his food and completely ignoring the raging Mikasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
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>  
> 
>  
> 
> seriously that was me this whole chapter
> 
> as always, my tumblr is jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle if you want to talk about this or anything.


	7. I'LL KEEP TOSSING ROCKS AT YOUR WINDOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: titan should have been the name of Eren and Annie's apt complex  
> mcdouchebag: oh. oh man we named Levi's that didn't we. oh man.  
> me: we fucked up.  
> mcdouchebag: so bad  
> me: so bad  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Eren channeling his inner tamaki in that bookstore look at that pout

Eren stared at the large white bloom in his hand, cradling the feathery petals carefully in hopes it didn't shatter. It was difficult to find peonies this time of year, even force-bloomed. He couldn't pass up the chance to add it to the bouquet he had taken to his mother. It left him surprised when she gently loosed it from the rest and gave it back to him.

_'Give it to that boy you like.'_

Eren had blushed, stammering that he didn't know what she was talking about, that there was no one. She had simply smiled knowingly, informing him that Mikasa had told her how he'd been bringing everyone sweets nearly every day.

He only blushed harder, embarrassed. He tried to tell her it wasn’t like that, that there was nothing between them. Still, she insisted, and well, he had never really been able to deny his mother anything, not when she was healthy, certainly not when she was hooked up to all those tubes.  And so, he found himself climbing the steps to the museum, cradling the flower like a precious, fragile bauble, intent on giving it to the only person he'd want to have it; vaguely wondering what his mother would think of Levi.

He shook away the thought, knowing there was no special need to introduce them since they were only friends. Just friends. Were they even friends? He couldn’t say he was really sure. Most of the time he thought Levi merely tolerated him, and he barely even did that.

He turned his mind back to the present as he used his weight to push the door open with his shoulder. He wasn’t surprised to see the short security guard wandering around the lobby. It was a little surprising to see him there alone, however. Nearly every time he had come to visit, either Mikasa or Hanji had accompanied Levi in the vast entryway. Once or twice Erwin had been there, and Eren continued to deny the pang of jealousy that shot through him at their obvious level of comfort and closeness.

He didn’t think there was anything there; Erwin had both Mike and Nanaba. From what Eren could tell, those three were happy as could be and he didn’t imagine Erwin would leave that for Levi. Erwin was a pretty openly sexual being, and Levi, well, wasn’t. Even so, they were close friends and the brunet couldn’t help but be jealous even over a platonic relationship. Not while he struggled just not be an annoying presence.

As he neared, steel blue eyes turned to him. Levi always had resting bitch face, Eren knew, but the fact that shorter man actually lifted a hand to casually greet him left his stomach churning in his chest and his heart lodged in his throat. He swallowed hard, a feeble attempt to force all his innards back into their proper places.

“Hey.” Eren smiled, bright eyes crinkling just enough to show it was genuine, his lips pulling back into a full grin as he looked down at Levi, his long hair falling into his face.

“Hey.” He returned the pitiful greeting, eyes curiously glancing from the bloom and back to Eren.

“Oh, uh, here—” Eren shoved his hand out in front of Levi, pushing a bit too much into his personal space, the white bloom close enough for the man to smell.

“What is this?” He quirked an eyebrow up at Eren, gently cupping his hands around the large bloom as he took it from the other.

“It’s a peony.”

“I am aware.”

“Um, it’s for you?” Eren could feel a light blush on his cheeks, averting his eyes and hoping no one was out of sight witnessing this.

Levi lowered his arms, still cupping the flower in front of him and looking up at the brunet with a sour expression. “If you think this is going to woo me…”

“No, no! It’s not like that!” He gestured frantically, worried that Levi was going to kick him out forever. He thought that they were actually making some sort of progress, too, after what had happened at the zoo. “It was from the flowers I gave my mom. I just thought…I thought you might like it.”

Steel blue eyes studied him, calculating. After a moment his brows unfurrowed and his eyes glanced at the feathery bloom in his hands, seemingly satisfied with the honesty of Eren’s response. “Flower’s are shitty gifts.”

“Heh, what?” Eren smiled, confusion gracing his eyes.

“Sure, they’re pretty at first. But then they turn into a brown, withering mess stinking up your kitchen.” Vague disgust pulled at Levi’s lips and crinkled his nose in a way that Eren couldn’t help but find adorable. “They die. Shitty gifts.”

Eren snorted, shaking his head. He couldn’t exactly argue with the truth. “Well if you hate it so much then throw it away.” A soft smile tugged at his lips, somehow enjoying just finding out something new about Levi. “Bu—t, at least wait till I leave.” He took a few steps away, not really wanting to go but knowing he had to.

“Wait, you’re just leaving?”

The brunet’s stomach flipped, his smile pulling into a full cheesy-ass grin. “Yeah, I gotta go to work. I just stopped by to give you that.” Tilting his head, he gave Levi a casual two-fingered salute. “See ya!” Eren turned on his heels, more than a little pleased at the stunned look on the security guard’s face as he left.

* * *

It had been nearly a week since Eren had given Levi the flower. Since then, he had been trying to figure out what would be a more ‘suitable’ gift for the security guard. It was difficult, considering he couldn’t give him anything that would be considered ‘romantic’, not without his motives being questioned. When it came down to it, he just wanted to make him happy. He couldn’t help feeling like he had seen something rare when it was just them, seeing a genuine smile that wasn’t all amusement from other’s suffering.

Realistically, he knew he that Levi smiled, and smiled for others. He was just more reserved, much like Mikasa. Even so, he wanted to make him smile more. Which was exactly how Eren found himself shifting impatiently outside his apartment complex waiting for his brother to pick him up on the first day off he’d had in weeks.

He crossed his arms over his chest, wind toying with his long hair, and found himself thankful that it had cooled down as they shifted into the first week of October. He’d rather have to wear a long sleeved shirt and stand in the sun to be comfortable than melting into a puddle of stink in the shade.

It didn’t take long before he heard a familiar rumble of an Impala and saw the black beauty pull into the lot. He rolled his eyes as the blond grinned at him through the window, pulling to a stop to let him in.

“Really? You rubbing it in, too?”

“What? I happen to like driving Baby. Plus she’s cleaner than your mom car.” Armin grinned out of the corner of his eye, turning his attention to pulling out of the parking lot.

“Last I checked you had a van. Why am I the only one that horseface gives shit to?”

“Because the van has a large backseat.” Armin replied nonchalantly, but there was a certain edge to his voice that gave away his amusement.

“That—” Eren stilled halfway through strapping in. “Gross.”

The trip from Shiganshina Apartments to the Maria-Rose Bookstore was short, more so because the streets were empty for the most part this time of day and Armin couldn’t help but drive the Impala more than a little over the speed limit. Eren couldn’t complain, it got them to their destination faster and it wasn’t like there was anyone was around to get hurt. Armin locked the car as they got out, the alarm beeping confirmation at them; one of the only modern changes Jean had allowed in the vehicle.

The brunet followed behind his brother, not really sure where he should be going. It was just a bookstore, but he was out of his element. He didn’t even know what he was looking for, hoping that he’d just spot something that would reach out and grab him if he tailed Armin long enough.

He pushed the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows, finding the inside of the store toasty and a vast contrast to the chilly autumn air of the outdoors. It vaguely smelled the same as Armin’s room always had, and he realized it was the smell of crisp pages and new ink. The blond had always kept a lot of books in his room, almost always having one with him, but Eren had never really put it together that he smelled like literature.

They wandered around the bookstore in mostly silence. Eren wasn’t sure how long they’d been there, at least half an hour certainly. Long enough for Armin to make his way to the top of the three floors and begin scanning through the Sci-fi/Fantasy section. He had already picked up a couple books from the Greek History section on floor two, as well as pausing in the Manga section on the top floor to get something for his other half.

“So who should I be thanking for this little foray?” Armin asked casually, eyes scanning over the spines of books on the shelves, slender fingers brushing along them lovingly.

“What are you talking about? I can’t hang out with my brother?” Eren tried his best to not sound like he was on the defensive.

Armin quirked an eyebrow and looked at him incredulously. “Eren, I’ve been trying to get you to come to the bookstore with me for years. You’ve never once come willingly, and you usually complained the entire time. And now you invite _me_ on your first day off from the bakery in weeks.”

Eren pressed his lips together and furrowed his brows in a petulant pout that he had at some point picked up from Jean in their years together. “Can’t I just want to spend time with my brother doing something he likes?”

Armin sighed and smiled, dropping the subject and returning to the shelves. Silence fell over them again as he followed along, eyes scanning the spines and wishing they meant something to him. It wasn’t like he had never read, he actually read more frequently than people thought he did. But most of the time it was something that the blond brought him to read.

“Hey, Armin,” he broke the silence, voice quiet and eyes on the books, fingering the spines anxiously. “What kind of books do asexuals like?”

Armin sputtered, laughter pushing from his lips much to Eren’s dismay. “I knew it!” He said accusingly.

“ _What!_ ” Eren whined, feigning innocence.

“You’re here looking for something for Levi!” Armin crossed his arms over his chest, leaning his shoulder against the shelf.

Eren opened his mouth to object, lips pressing closed as he turned back to the shelves, finger pushing through the thin layer of dust and not looking at Armin. He was sulking.

“So then you don’t know?”

Armin brought his fingers to his forehead, palm covering his eyes as he shook his head in disbelief. “Eren, he’s ace. Not blind. I don’t think he requires a special kind of book on the basis of his sexuality.” He let out a soft sigh. “He’s just a human. I mean I guess you might want to avoid buying him erotica until you know how he feels about that, but I wouldn’t really suggest that as a notice-me-senpai gift anyway.”

The brunet glared at Armin, fully intent on protesting. The knowing look the blond gave him cut him off before he even bothered to start. Eren looked at him before turning back to the books. “But I don’t know how to pick out a book.”

The blond snorted, a smile pulling at his lips. “I’ve spoiled you, apparently.”

Eren nodded, still pouting, big puppy eyes looking pathetic as they silently pleaded for assistance. Armin sighed in defeat, and the brunet beamed, knowing he’d won.

“Okay, okay. Do you have any idea what kind of books he’s into?”

The brunet shook his head. “He doesn’t really…say much about himself.” He shrugged hopelessly. “He likes kids’ movies?”

Armin smiled, nodding. “Good, that’s good. Then he’s open to fiction.” Armin hummed as he looked along the shelves. “Maybe you should pick one that you’ve read? It’ll be good for you guys to hopefully find something you both like. Other than just kids’ movies.”

Eren nodded. He had a point. Thus far they were mostly running on fumes and the brunet’s ridiculous level of tenacity. He moved further into the shelves, eyes looking for titles that he knew. Armin followed him, a soft, almost proud smile on his face as he watched him. 

The brunet chewed his lips, brows furrowed as he glanced along the spines. Eventually he found some he knew, fingers hesitantly pulling a book from the shelves. He brushed his fingers along the cover, not missing the fact that it was in better shape than his copy.

“Why that one?” Armin watched him carefully.

“What?”

“Why did you pick that one?”

Eren shrugged, looking back at the book. “I...don’t know. It’s one of my favorites.” Armin only watched him, waiting for the rest. “I don’t know, okay? I’ve always loved it. You gave it to me in highschool, remember? It was the first book I read that actually had gay in it.” He shrugged again, not feeling like his answers were good enough. “I guess I kinda felt like I related to Vanyel. I know, ‘but what does that have to do with Levi—’”

“Good.”

“Huh?”

“That’s good. You’re not trying to win him over by giving him gifts, right? You’re trying to win him over by sharing fragments of yourself with him.”

Eren nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess so?”

Armin smiled, snatching the book and adding it to his pile. “I’ll buy it.”

“I can pay for a book, Armin.” Eren protested.

The blond simply held up a hand and headed toward the escalator. “I want to. It’s a….future investment.”

Eren sighed softly, knowing that once Armin had decided on something nothing would change his mind. At least he was rooting for him. He followed silently, surprised when his phone chirped at him, alerting him of a text message.

**[SHORTY MCANGRY PANTS 1:30PM] havent heard from you today**

Eren smiled softly before tucking his phone back into his pocket without responding when Armin hailed him from the exit.

The rest of the day had been mostly uneventful. They had stopped for a late lunch, eating inside a restaurant with actual waiters and real menus. They had also stopped inside a local electronics store and bought a new tablet for Jean for Christmas; Armin turning into the creepiest fucker he had ever seen and threatening him with the pain of death if Eren slipped a word to Jean about it. He always forgot how scary the blond could be when he wanted.

By the time they pulled to a stop in front of the museum steps, the sun had already fallen below the horizon, nothing but a vague sliver of pink glowing in the clouds to hint at its existence.

“You know, Eren…I know you really like him. Honestly, I’ve never seen you try so hard. But…you are aware that he may never accept you how you want him to, right?” Armin’s voice was soft, tentatively speaking and not really wanting to be the one to say it, but not wanting his brother to get his heart broken either.

“Yeah, I know.” Eren smiled, the expression slipping into his eyes. “But…I’d like to try. And I really want to make him smile.”

Armin only stared stunned for a moment before nodding, Eren slipping out of the car and heading up the steps of the museum in hopes of catching Levi before his shift ended and he went home for the day.

He carried the book gingerly, pushing into the museum with his free hand as he scanned the lobby for Levi. It was the end of his shift, but Eren was certain he had caught him before it was time to clock out. The museum would be open another couple hours, but Mikasa had already come in for the night shift.

“Eren?”

The brunet’s attention pulled to the side at the voice. It was suave, as always, and he wasn’t surprised to see the tall blond approaching him. Even in the café’s apron he looked handsome.

“Oh, Erwin, hey.” He smiled, eyes quickly drifting away and looking around for Levi, feeling anxious that he might’ve missed him.

“Looking for short stuff?”

“Ah—huh?”

Erwin grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Ah, I think you just missed him. He clocked out. He usually parks in the parking lot out back. You might be able to catch him if you hurry.” When Eren looked up at him with confusion, he just laughed and pointed toward the door to the employee lot.

Eren nodded, smiling and running toward the door. “Thanks!” He called back before heading out the door.

It was darker than he expected, mostly lit by the street lights and a few dim, gold lights hanging on the walls of the museum. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but he eventually saw the silhouette of a person just before it disappeared behind a car.

“Levi!?” Eren called, finding it amusing when the dark shadow of a head pop up behind the car. Even so, he jog-walked over toward him, finding it much brighter where he had parked, the light from the street pooling into that half of the parking lot.

Levi quirked an eyebrow at the brunet, lowering his helmet back to his hip. “Stalking me again?”

Eren just grinned this time, learning by now that Levi no longer really meant that. At least he hoped not. “I brought you something.”

Steel eyes only looked up at him in confusion as he held out the book. Long fingers took the gift carefully, turning so his body didn’t block the light. “ _Magic’s Pawn?_ ”

The taller man shrugged, avoiding his eyes with a little embarrassment. “I don’t really know what kind of books you’re into, or if you’ll like it, but…yeah.”

Levi’s brows furrowed and his eyes were filled with anything but understanding. “Why’d you get me a book?”

Eren blinked a few times, standing up straight and grinning at him. “Books don’t die.”

The security guard looked up at him, eyes widening just slightly, lips relaxing and fingers gripping the book a little tighter. “I...thanks.” He turned away from him, carefully tucking the book into the compartment under the seat.

Eren watched his actions closely, picking up the little things. He had spent enough time around Armin and Jean that he was at least halfway decent at reading people. He was starting to wonder if Levi wasn’t used to kindness.

"So what's with the text checking up on me? Did you mi—ss me?" He grinned, trying to break the vague discomfort that seemed to have settled over Levi.

Steel eyes widened just slightly as he turned to look at Eren before narrowing and returning to Levi’s normal please-suck-ass-and-die expression. "I may or may not have been vaguely interested in the status of your well-being.”

Eren’s lips pulled back into a grin, eyes glinting even in the dark. "You were worried? That doesn't seem like something you'd have for someone who is just an annoyance." He beamed, looking at Levi like a praised puppy. “Does that mean I've finally reach friend status?"

Levi shifted his weight and turned his face away from Eren, clicking his tongue at him. "Fuck you."

Eren grinned, taking a few steps back away from Levi and his bike. “We—ll, I’ll leave you be, then. You probably want to get home, right?” His breath puffed out in white before drifting away into the cool night air, lips pulling back in a content smile as he turned away to head home.

“Hey—”

He froze when Levi called out to him, turning around slowly.

“Boss dropped you off, right?” He tossed his extra helmet at the brunet, smirking at the grunt when he caught it. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

Eren only stared for a moment before nodding and climbing on the bike behind him. It was awkward and new; he’d never actually ridden on a motorcycle before. He sat behind him, hesitating and looking around awkwardly, not sure what to do with his hands.

Levi let out a little laugh, grabbing Eren’s arms and wrapping them around his waist. “Don’t be a creeper.”

His cheeks flushed under his dark skin, holding loosely around his torso and trying to pretend that the way his insides were flipping was purely from the exhilaration of riding a motorcycle. His fingers tightened into Levi’s jean jacket, and all he could do is hope that he didn’t notice. Or didn’t care.

Even so, Levi had offered to give him a ride home. He didn’t need to, he didn’t owe Eren anything, and it was out of his way. But he had offered. As far as Eren was concerned, that meant something. Even if it just meant that maybe Levi was accepting him as a friend, it was something.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_FRIENDSHIP_**  
>  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \\(ʘ‿ʘ✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> the book he gives levi is Magic's Pawn by Mercedes Lackey. Its actually tied for my favorite book and is the only book i've ever re-read. I highly recommend it.
> 
> As always comments are wanted and welcome and my tumblr is jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle if you have any questions


	8. SO HOLD MY HAND, I'LL WALK WITH YOU MY DEAR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look i updated heh. i'm sorry its so short.
> 
> also [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6BC_uQEEmM)

Levi lay in his bed, comforters pulled over his shoulders to balance the chill of the fan and central air conditioner. His eyes were closed and he did his best to relax his breathing; deep breaths, the kind that filled his stomach before slipping back into the crisp air outside of his cocoon. It had been hours since he had taken his sleeping medicine.

Still, he lay awake. The hallway creaked, stairs old and air pushing between the boards whenever the surrounding pressure shifted. Old instincts kept him awake, inner subconscious refusing to let him sleep, for if he did, he would see it again. Every time he began to drift, his mind filled with thoughts of green eyes, big beautiful eyes that left him tense and afraid and haunted his dreams, and a hoarse voice telling him to run that ended in tear streaked sheets more often than not.

Teeth gritted and bared, he clenched his eyes shut tight and ignored the wetness that gathered in his lashes, fingers gripping into his hair as he pushed down his desperate need to run.

“Fuck.” His voice had a whine to it that clawed at his skin, reminding him how weak he really was, that it was his fault that those green eyes—

_Green eyes…_

Letting out a shaky breath, he rolled onto his stomach and stretched out to reach his phone. He swiped his thumb across the screen, the bright light forcing him to squint as it seared his retina. The screen glared as his eyes watered – the moisture obviously a result of the bright screen and nothing else, of course. It had been a couple hours since he had last gotten a text from Eren, bidding him goodnight.

**[LEVI 1:12AM] you awake**

He didn’t really expect a reply. Somehow he expected Eren to be a heavy sleeper, and a single text wouldn’t be enough to wake him up. He didn’t really even know why he had text him, anyway. Maybe it was taking advantage of the brunet’s need to prove himself worthy of Levi. Or maybe he just wanted the company, anyone would do.

Even Eren.

Especially Eren.

Eren, who had refrained from pushing into his past; Eren, who seemed more concerned with his comfort than whatever the brunet used to spend his time doing.

**[ASSTWAT 1:13AM] what’s wrong?**

Levi smiled softly at his phone. He was certain that freshly rubbed, bleary green eyes were struggling to adjust, a hazy mind pushing itself out of whatever perverted dreams Eren had been having.

**[LEVI 1:13AM] cant sleep  
[ASSTWAT 1:14AM] and you message me? I should be flattered. Or I’m the only one that bothered to respond.**

A puff of air that could easily have been mistaken for laughter pushed from Levi’s lips as he sat up in his bed, legs crossed and pulled close.

**[LEVI 1:14AM] or the only one i was willing to bother  
[ASSTWAT 1:15AM] I’m so honored, the ever-angry king is gracing me with his presence.**

Levi delayed his response, instead crawling out of bed – half-assed pulling the covers up – and relocated to the living room. He was awake anyway. He opened his laptop, pushing the power button to let it load and waited for the programs that normally opened automatically to do so. Skype had barely gotten out of the not responding phase before the window popped up to alert him of a call; because clearly the annoying as fuck tone blasting through his speakers wasn’t enough.

His stomach clenched and a jolt of anxiety pinged through him, as it always did when unexpected calls occurred. It was just another thing he hid when he was around others. Taking a deep breath, he slid his finger across the integrated mouse pad and click ‘answer.’

“Thought you were going to sleep two hours ago?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

_Liar._ A slight smile tugged at his lips as he looked at the brunet through the shitty quality of the skype video call. His hair was disheveled, even for Eren, eyes a little puffy and bleary, and his brows furrowed in that why-the-fuck-am-i-awake way that was vaguely adorable. A dark hand rubbed big green eyes, the younger man’s fatigue evident.

“What about you? Don’t you work tomorrow morning?” Eren stifled a yawn as he spoke.

“Yes, well, I’m married to insomnia.”

Eren grinned tiredly, cheek in his hand. “You should probably get a divorce, sounds like a toxic relationship.”

Levi let out a little undignified snort. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He smiled as Eren let out a little laugh. Pushing to his feet, he stretched his arms over his head before leaning over to pick up the computer, stopping mid-movement when the brunet spoke up.

“Whoa, how many of those do you have?”

“How many?”

Eren blushed slightly, shifting and pointing down. “Oh, um, when you moved I could see your—”

“Huh? Oh, the piercing,” Levi looked down at the screen, still not sitting back down and not caring that the camera was mostly getting a pelvic shot of him. His fingers pulled up the hem of his shirt, brushing over the metal barbell mindlessly. “Nine.”

“That many?”

Levi quirked an eyebrow at him curiously, leaning down into view of the camera. “Got a problem?”

“N-no! I mean…I like them.”

Levi shook his head, stifling down a snort. Tired Eren was a little more honest and cute than lucid Eren. “Yeah, well…thanks.” Standing back up, he started to walk to the kitchen, knowing his voice would carry over. Or at least intending to.

“Hey, where are you going!?”

He stopped in his tracks, turning toward the laptop. “I was gonna make some food.”

“Well don’t just leave me here!”

The raven sighed, picking up the laptop and carrying it to the kitchen island. He couldn’t complain too much, really. Eren was only up because of him.  Neither said much, Levi humming to the radio he had clicked on as he dug out a bowl and began mixing eggs, flour, and other ingredients, whisking them together and somehow enjoying the scritch of the metal against the bowl.

“Waffles? Or pancakes?”

Levi turned toward the laptop, bowl pressed against his hip. “Belgium waffles.”

“You’re making homemade waffles at like one-thirty at night? Seriously? Why don’t you just make some toaster waffles or some shit?”

He shrugged, pouring the mix into the waffle maker and closing it. “Because I can? Tastes better.”

Eren shook his head, smiling lazily. “Whatever floats your boat, I guess. If you want to make something extravagant alone in your underwear, go for it.”

Levi smirked to himself. So he may have still been in his boxer-briefs. At least he had bothered to pull on a t-shirt before turning on his laptop. “It’s just waffles. Besides,” He paused, opening the waffle maker and working the sweet onto his plate. “I’m not alone.”

The brunet blushed again, not that Levi had seen it. Eren was pretty sure he hadn’t even realized what he had said. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t be complaining if I was cooking them for you.” He rolled up one of the waffles, dipping it into a small bowl of maple syrup and cinnamon.

“You making me breakfast in the early AM in your unds? Can’t say I would mind.”

Steel eyes narrowed and Levi jabbed the waffle toward the screen, elbows never leaving the countertop. “Don’t push your luck, brat.”

Eren let out a little laugh, smile lingering. “You do know I’m twenty-two right?”

Levi shrugged, taking a bite and talking around it. It wasn’t something he often did in front of other people, generally keeping a clean appearance. “Still a brat.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

“And certainly none were deserved, right?” He watched the screen out of the corner of his eye, shoving the last piece of waffle into his mouth.

“Of course not. I’m a fucking angel.”

Levi didn’t respond, only rolling his eyes and humming his sarcastic agreement as he disappeared from view, setting the plate in the sink. He’d wash it with breakfast.

Eren let out an incredulous laugh, leaning forward. “What does that look mean? You think I’m anything but a sweet, loving human being?”

A thin brow lifted, steel eyes deadpanning at the camera. “Need I remind you how we met?”

Laughing nervously, he scratched the back of his head. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” Shaking his head softly, he turned and pulled out a clean mug and filled it with water before popping it in the microwave. He knew Eren was watching him curiously as he emptied a packet of powdered chocolate into it and added a handful and mini-marshmallows.

“Hot chocolate? Seriously? How old _are_ you?”

Levi smiled, gesturing with his cup before taking a sip. “It’s the little things, Eren.” The brunet didn’t smile, only letting out a little laughter and surrendering. “You know, you don’t have to force yourself to stay awake with me.”

Eren blinked at him with surprise before a soft smile tugged at his lips, his eyes softening even through the bad camera quality. “Not forcing at all. It’s what friends do, Levi.”

 _Right…friends…_ The kindness was still foreign to him, even if he had friends who treated him well. He’d never get used to it. He said nothing, only nodding and carrying the laptop back to the living room.

“Well since you so insist on bothering me,” the smallest of smiles tugged at the corner of Levi’s lips, the slight softening of his eyes cushioning his words, “PS3?”

Eren smiled through his screen. “Skag hunting?”

“Skag hunting.”

The brunet let out a little laugh, shifting around on his bed and setting the laptop to the side as he grabbed his controller to turn his system on. It didn’t take long to load their consoles up, waiting on the games to connect to the network.

“Uh…we’re gonna have to keep this up unless you want to phone.” Levi turned to look at him questioningly, Eren looking embarrassed. “My headset’s sorta broken.”

“Of course it is.”

Neither said much as they settled into quiet company, the game making mostly as much noise as them. Levi had quickly claimed Lilith, Eren taking the monster that was Brick, and somehow they made a pretty well-fit team. Both had long beaten the game and it was mostly running through the downloadable content.

The hours passed quickly, mostly consisting of Eren loudly taking out bandits, and indeed, skags, and insisting that Moxxi had a thing for the siren. Eventually they decided it time to focus on zombies.

Levi grinned to himself, watching as the snarky redhead head ran circles around his screen, his own voice coming out not much more than a melodic mumble. “Light ‘em up, up, up…”

Eren snorted, laughter bubbling from his chest. “Are you serious?” Levi shot him a glare from the other side of the screen, still muttering the song to himself as Lilith casually ran through the horde of zombie and they subsequently caught fire. The brunet held his hands up in surrender only a moment before regaining control of his character. “Didn’t take you as the type to like fall out boy.”

“Oh? And what type did you think I was?” His voice conveyed a smirk that didn’t reach his lips, steel eyes not leaving the screen in front of him. He almost forgot that Eren was watching him through the computer.

“I don’t know, I figured you probably didn’t listen to like anything but classic rock or some shit like – dammit will you stop fucking taking my kills!”

A small laugh escaped Levi, grinning as his flames claimed another one of the zombies and their brains popped from their desecrated skulls. “Hey it’s not my fault you’re slow as fuck at sniping. Not like the mark is gonna just sit and wait for you to shoot their brains out. Though the real thing isn’t nearly as overflowing with undead, what with no doctor Ned to revive them. We have to have well over a hundred brains by now, at least.”

“The real thing..?”

“Yeah. It’s a lot more focus and panic and filthy as fuck.”

“Levi…were you in the military?” The hesitance in his voice was more than enough to really catch the raven’s attention.

“Oh, uh,” His eyes flicked to the laptop for a second before turning back to his TV, his nod barely there. “Yeah, I was.” Eren didn’t say anything, but Levi could feel his eyes on him even through the screen. “Go on. I can feel you wanting to ask.”

The brunet shook his head softly, even if Levi wasn’t looking at him. “No, not really…you just…never mentioned it.”

Levi shrugged, fingers still working his controller, even though Eren had mostly stopped, his focus on the older man. “Never came up. It was almost a decade ago when I got away from that life, after all. Your age, actually.”

“I see…”

Letting out a small sigh, Levi rolled his eyes. “Just ask your questions. Lucky you,” he paused and checked the clock on the laptop, “five-fucking-thirty-two AM is my magic tell-you-whatever-the-fuck-you-want hour.”

“I don’t…know…”

“Yes I’ve killed people. Yes it was bloody. Yes it was intense and I probably should have been more afraid than I was. Now that we’ve got that basic shit out of the way, ask me your real questions.” Levi hadn’t done much more than glance toward Eren, but not for avoidance.  He didn’t know if it was the insomnia or just that the brunet had earned his friendship, but something left him willing to talk that night.

“Umm…okay…how did you end up as a security guard? Aren’t they supposed to take care of their veterans?” Eren shifted awkwardly. He wanted to ask so much. Details. He wanted to pry into everything while he had the chance. But somehow he didn’t. He wanted Levi to tell him on his own.

“Ah, that. Yeah, well, they’re pretty shitty at that as it is. But me, personally? I didn’t want anything to do with that life after I got away from them.”

“That bad?”

“No, actually…” He lowered his hands into his lap, no longer focusing on the game. “It was…a really good time for me, oddly enough. I guess for most people that life is pretty traumatizing. But…it was an escape for me.”

“Were you there alone, then?”

“Erwin and Mike were both there, pretty high ranked. Hanji was there, too.”

“Wait wait, _they_ were in the military? _Hanji_ was in the military?”

The steel-eyed man actually grinned at this; everyone was always so surprised. “Yeah, she was. Resident mad scientist.”

“Okay well that sounds more like her. She’s…eccentric. But Erwin? A commander? Why the hell does he work in a damn coffee shop then?”

“Because of me.”

“What..? You? Why would he quit that for you? What…were you two like…”

“Oh yeah, we were totally a thing.” Levi didn’t miss a beat, stifling a smile that threatened to push from his lips. “It was intense. Riding him all free hours of the day, in his office, in the barracks, the infirmary, and don’t forget the showers.” He ticked the locations off on his fingers, face still completely serious.

“You’re…you’re just fucking with me right? Right? You are, right?”

Steel eyes turned toward him incredulously. “Yes.”

“Because I mean you said—oh..yes…okay…ehehe…” Eren blushed, the level of jackassery giving him the sudden urge to go jump off a building. Of course, this only caused Levi to burst into laughter, so even the brunet thought maybe it was worth it.

“Relax kid, Erwin and I were never anything outside of platonic. Especially not then. Mike was his second-in-command in more ways than one, y’know. Though the lets-fuck-here thing was true, for them anyway.” Levi crinkled his nose. “I should know.”

“Ah, right. I didn’t realize the three of them had been together for so long.”

“A few years, Nana didn’t come into the picture until later.” Levi had thought on more than one occasion how it was probably best she hadn’t come from military like the rest of them. She was good for the sunshine giants.

“Then, why did you want to leave it?”

Levi’s brows furrowed, refusing to look at the screen as his throat tightened. “I was special ops. Well, _we_ were. Erwin was our commander. We were…the three of us… well Erwin gave us a mark – sometimes a hit, sometimes stopping an entire squadron, sometimes simple sabotage – and we did it. We were together for two years.”

Eren waited to see if Levi was going to say more. He didn’t. “Okay, so if all was so great, why did you want to cut off from the military completely?”

Steel eyes narrowed, lips pressing tight as his sight remained focused on his hands in his lap, his voice lowering. “Things don’t always turn out how we want them to, kid.”

He said nothing in return, simply rejoining Levi in the game which no longer held much entertainment for either of them. What could he say? Sorry? Thanks? Neither seemed appropriate, really. “Can I ask something else?”

“Hm? Go for it.” Levi turned the volume on his TV down, hoping against hope that he might get a couple hours of sleep before he had to start his shift.

“You said the military was an escape for you?” Levi nodded and hummed his acknowledgement. “Escape from what, exactly?” Eren knew Levi was an orphan, and had the basest of ideas of how bad his childhood was. But he couldn’t help but seek more details.

Levi’s body tensed, only for a moment, his voice coming out as stoic as ever. “That’s a story for another time. I think we’ve delved deep enough into shit for one night, don’t you?”

Eren nodded solemnly. “Yeah, of course.”

Their conversation settled into what it had been before, consisting mostly of the brunet yelling at his TV or accusing Levi of kill-thievery, which only left the older man chuckling to himself. If he had said he hadn’t started doing it intentionally, he’d be lying. At some point he had mostly muted his TV, finding the sounds of an angry, exhausted Eren much more amusing.

 _At least he doesn’t have to work tomorrow…_ The thought was some sort of consolation to Levi, who slid down on the couch, head resting where the arm and back met. His body was growing heavy, even by his always-tired standards, finding it too much effort to push the buttons of the controller that rested on his torso any longer.

“Hey, Eren?” Levi’s voice was quiet, and he wasn’t a hundred percent sure he had actually opened his mouth and spoken, or just thought it.

“Yeah?”

The sound of the game cut off, Levi thought Eren must’ve opened the menu screen or maybe left the game. He couldn’t be bothered to open his eyes and check, not caring enough to force himself through such effort. Especially not when he knew the system should shut down on its own after a period of inactivity.

“Thanks…for keeping me…com…pa…”

Eren smiled softly and set his controller to the side, as he had indeed shut down his own system. _Nowhere else I’d rather be._ “Goodnight, Levi.” His words were soft, tender even, before he disconnected and followed Levi’s example.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets be real here, if Eren was in his apt with him he would have brushed his hair back and kissed his forehead and covered him with a blanket.
> 
> i'm really sorry it took so long to write this. I've been..going through a lot. I'll try to update more frequently.


	9. THE GENIE AT THE BOTTOM; HE OWES ME ONE LAST WISH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi couldn’t help but yawn as he swiped his ID card through the scanner, allowing the museum’s systems to know he was finished with his shift. It wasn’t often that he worked so early. The previous owner had taken quick note of his insomnia and had done his best to schedule him afternoon shifts. When Armin had inherited the museum, he had done the same.

Unfortunately, they did still happen from time to time. Like today. It was actually his fault, so Levi knew he couldn’t complain too much. He had told Mikasa he’d take her shift; she and Marco had a special date planned and he figured why not let them have their night? Not that he’d let anyone else know. They might think he’d gone soft.

Even so, he hadn’t exactly expected the night prior to be one of his bad nights. Then again, he knew it would have been much, much worse had he not had company. A smile tugged at his lips at the memory of Eren staying up with him until he passed out. It wasn’t something he had to do. It wasn’t even something he had been asked to do. But it was sure as fuck something Levi wouldn’t be forgetting that he had done.

He was in the process of shaking off the thought, pulling his jean jacket on over a warm, black hoodie that was comfortably fuzzy on the inside, when he noted a familiar figure coming toward him. He had paused in his movements only for a second, certainly not long enough for the Eren to notice, tugging his hood to the outside of his jacket.

“What are you doing here, Eren?” His eyes burned, gritty and torn and he was pretty damn sure they were bloodshot. Probably looked about as bad as the green eyes that stared down at him. Then again, the red in his eyes did nothing but make the flecks of blue and mint in his irises that much brighter. He had certainly been blessed by whomever he had inherited his big, all encompassing eyes from.

“What, I can’t come visit anymore?” Eren shrugged, hands tucked into the pockets of his peacoat, blue scarf dangling carelessly around his neck.

The jacket had surprised Levi, not that it wasn’t suddenly cold as Jack Frost’s nipples outside. It was more the fact that he hadn’t expected Eren to wear something so…dignified. He could only presume it had been given to him by Armin. And it probably was.

“Not when your dumbass should be at home sleeping. Did you—” He could feel a yawn tugging at his throat, jaw tightening and tonsils pulling up into his head. He tried his best to fight it, failing miserably as the urge quickly won over his will, turning his head and covering his mouth with his hand. He wasn’t in the slightest surprised to hear light, tired laughter once his ears cleared, Eren smiling down at him.

“Yeah I thought that’d be about right. You’re off right?” Levi only nodded in response. “Coffee?” Eren was still smiling, rocking back on his heels with a look of hope in his eyes that the shorter man was finding it harder and harder to deny was there.

“Why the fuck not.” He stifled a tired sigh, hands slowly moving to unzip his jacket.

“Ah, no, not here.” The brunet tilted his head toward the door.

Levi followed suspiciously but without further questioning. They hadn’t even gone a block before Eren stopped and opened a door to a corner coffee house, a little bell dinging when he did. The older man wasn’t sure how many times he had driven past this place, but had never actually gone inside. He wasn’t a fan of coffee beyond the smell, but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t hate the feel of this place.

The Crystal Paradise was everything one would imagine a small coffee house could be. It had a blackboard sign out front, with chalk art of some sort of humanoid…thing with no skin holding a cup of coffee and advertising the sale on their new ‘titan’ size drinks. Inside was dim, warm, with light flashing at irregular intervals as the sunlight caught on the dangling shards of broken mirrors and stained glass that decorated the place. There was even a small, currently empty, stage for performers in the evening. Inside there were no restaurant chairs, only couches, recliners, and a few big ass ottomans that could clearly fit more than one person comfortably.

“Eren, what the fuck are you doing here?”

The female voice full of familiarity quickly drew Levi’s attention to the young woman behind the counter. With forever ‘done’ blue eyes and a strong nose that no one could forget, the resting-bitch-faced blonde was definitely one he had met vaguely when Eren had dragged him to the movies. Her name escaped him.

“It’s called getting coffee, Annie. You know, that product you make your living on?”

Levi had to fight down a smirk at the way the blonde rolled her eyes. Annie, he noted.

“Yeah, well, someone has to pay the rent.” An almost imperceptible smile tugged at her lips as she pressed a few buttons on the register.

“Hey! I pay my half, don’t give me that shit!” It was then that Annie broke, lips pulling back into what was an admittedly beautiful smile.

“Yeah, yeah. What do you want?”

“I already told you, we’re here as customers.” Silence lingered between them as Annie stared at him expectantly, waiting for the lightbulb to click on. “Oh. Heh.” Dark fingers scratched the back of his head with embarrassment, Eren not much caring that it likely mussed up the back of his long hair. “Uh, French vanilla cappuccino with a shot of chocolate, and whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Mm…two of those strawberry filled pastries. And, uh, hot chocolate right?” Eren grinned, turning his gaze toward Levi.

It was obvious by the way he was grinning that he was at least in part teasing him for his childish tastes. Levi pressed his lips together petulantly, debating if he should order some over-the-top coffee just to spite the brat. Of course he didn’t care for coffee and his intestines would be the ones to suffer in the end. He didn’t much care for the idea of having to take a shit in a public bathroom. Eventually he nodded in defeat, which seemed to only please Eren further.

Levi hadn’t waited for instructions, finding it unnecessary to do so. Instead, he simply turned and walked out of the coffee shop. It was oddly satisfying to know that Eren was watching him, most likely on the verge of panicking that he had upset him. It wasn’t true, and in fact the raven simply moved to one of the outdoor tables near the window, slipping into the seat after a quick glance to make sure it wasn’t graffiti’d with bird shit.

He shifted into the seat, for once glad he was a human space-heater. The cold air was crisp and clean, icing his lungs in a way that was tranquil to him. He dug into his messenger bag and pulled out the book Eren had gotten him, opening up and continuing where he left off – about one-third through.

Erwin had given him the bag, insisting he use it for his things instead of shoving them into the console of his bike. He had given him the ‘dad’ look, saying ‘what if something happens to your bike, you’ll lose your whole life in that thing.’ Levi had rolled his eyes and told him it wasn’t true, but had eventually given in. Not that he ever really carried much with him. It was more that he used the bag to transfer everything from his bike to his locker in the museum and back again.

“Wow, you’re pretty far already.” Eren seemed intrigued, even genuinely surprised, as he set their drinks and small tray on the table. “I wasn’t sure you’d actually read it, if we’re being honest.” His voice was quiet as he slipped into the chair across from Levi and pulled his drink close.

“It was a gift. I’m not a complete dick, you know.”

Eren grinned, pulling his drink to his lips and hesitating to take a drink; a well-founded fear from too many scorched lips and days of crunchy tastebuds that couldn’t actually taste anything. “Just a little bit of dick, huh?”

Levi quirked an eyebrow, not lifting his eyes from his book and muttered his retort without a second thought. “It’s not that little.”

Eren sputtered into his coffee, choking on the bearably hot liquid and slamming the to-go cup onto the table top. Levi couldn’t help but chuckle, holding out a napkin toward the brunet, who took it but kept his eyes averted.

“Was that really necessary?” Eren’s voice was a little hoarse, throat still tight and threatening to make him cough again.

“Yes.” Levi was unerring, finding it all too amusing even as he pulled his eyes away from the choking Eren, pushing the bar of milk chocolate down until it was submerged in the rich, sweet drink in his hand. The chocolate was a nice touch, but it wasn’t really comparable to the extras that Petra always added.

“Anyway.” Eren cleared his throat, trying to regain some dignity as he took a sip of his cappuccino and pretended that he wasn’t now thinking about Levi’s dick.

“Mhm, anyway.” Levi rolled his eyes, tearing off a piece of his pastry. It was warm, and he could only assume Eren had asked Annie to nuke it for a couple seconds for them. “Why are you actually here today?”

The brunet shrugged, green eyes focused on the miniature straw he pushed through the surface of his drink. “I just figured you could use a pick me up. You’re not exactly the kind of person to call in just because you’re tired.”

It wasn’t as simple as just being tired, but he knew Eren hadn’t meant anything by it. “Ah, well…thanks.” He nodded softly, not real sure how to react in these situations. He never did handle people and feelings all that well. “What about you? Did you even sleep?”

“What? Yeah of course! Conked out right after you. That’s what like five hours right? Right.” Eren’s voice was overly chipper, leaving Levi to wonder if he knew how obvious he was being. He surely did.

“Liar.”

“Absolutely one-hundred percent.”

The dark-haired man let out a snort, shaking his head softly. “Well at least you’re honest….about lying?” There was a moment of questioning eye contact before Eren broke it with laughter, Levi’s own lips pulling back into a grin.

They settled into comfortable conversation quickly enough. As if something had shifted after the previous night, everything just seemed to come easier between them. Maybe that had been the last hurdle Eren had to jump for Levi to accept that whatever had happened in the beginning was a fluke. He hadn’t forgotten, certainly. But…the brunet was a good friend.

The sweet pastries had been consumed, and they were sipping through their drinks in mostly silence when Eren’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He jumped, much to Levi’s amusement, and checked the screen. Brows furrowed under his bangs, the change in his demeanor obvious to even someone without the older man’s experience.

“Uh, I gotta take this—” Levi didn’t respond beyond nodding, steel eyes watching as Eren answered the call. He didn’t take more than a step away, pacing in a small circle and keeping his eyes on the ground. His eyes were frantic, hand tucked under the arm holding the phone as if to keep it still. “Is she—” Levi didn’t miss the way Eren’s shoulders slumped after that. Not with sorrow, but with relief.

Tucking the phone into his pocket, Eren turned toward Levi with slightly widened eyes, lips pressed together and brows furrowed apologetically. “Levi, I—”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Levi was already gathering the napkins, drinks, and lids, along with any other trash on their table, and placing them on the tray.

“It’s my mom…she’s in the hospital. I—I have to go, Levi, I’m sorry—” His voice was riddled with worry and fear.

“Eren!” Levi rarely raised his voice, but knew he had to do something to pull Eren out of this cycle before he gave himself a panic attacked. He gripped his biceps, giving him a little shake as he said his name, green eyes snapping to attention. “Come on, I’ll take you.”

Levi hadn’t given him a chance to argue, grabbing his wrist and dragging him away from the coffee shop and toward the museum parking lot. They hadn’t quite made it that far when he felt Eren relax, the shorter man letting go of his wrist and digging his keys out of his bag.

Eren had driven to the museum, Levi was certain. But it was easier – though not safer – for a motorcycle to gain speed in less than legal ways. The brunet hadn’t hesitated to climb onto the bike behind him, though he seemed a little irritated that the shorter man refused to move until they both had helmets on.

There was only one hospital in the area, one that Levi had avoided since his less that consensual visit with it. The thought was fleeting as his bike roared and rumbled beneath them. He swerved precariously in and out of traffic, not bothering to check exactly how fast he had been going. Fast enough that Eren had been clinging forcefully to him, fingers twisted in his coat and arms squeezing tight enough to threaten his air supply. Such actions certainly merited a snarktastic comment, at the very least. Yet, when they finally arrived at the hospital, Levi said nothing.

Eren had barely waited long enough for the bike to come to a stop before jumping off at the entry way. He tossed Levi the helmet, the shorter man saying nothing. He only nodded before turning the bike and driving off to park.

When the overwhelming smell of chemicals and sanitation finally enveloped him, his throat threatened to close and he had to take a moment simply to push past the memories that waited in the dark to consume him. Steel eyes quickly caught on a familiar figure, standing numbly in a doorway. He was surprised that Eren was still here.

“Eren? Did you tell them who you are? Has she been transferred to a room yet?” He peered up at Eren, who stared unflinchingly before him.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, did you get the room number? Do I need to ask them for it?”

“I…I have it.” Eren swallowed hard, finally turning to look at Levi. He was scared. Worried. Shaken.

“Come on, Eren.” His voice softened, hand between Eren’s shoulder blades urging him forward. “Let’s go see her.”

Eren nodded, allowing Levi to move him forward. His feet seemed to continue on their own, leading the two of them through the hallways and toward the private rooms. The brunet didn’t much have to look around for directions; he had clearly been here many times before.

When they arrived at the door, Eren only stood for a moment before looking around the hallway. There was a small row of chairs across from her room, and he moved to sit on one. It was obvious to anyone that looked at him that he wasn’t really all there.

Levi looked around, the hallway empty and dim. Most of the lights had been shut off, a few down the hall flickering in a way that he found most annoying. He could only assume this wing wasn’t frequently used and that’s why the lights weren’t all on. No reason to spend money to light the entire wing if it was only one or two rooms in use.

Shrugging out of his jacket, he sat down beside Eren. He hated hospitals and he hadn’t exactly intended to stay. But there was no way he could leave the younger man alone like this, not in this state.

The brunet was far from being dauntless, his emotions on his sleeves and out for anyone to see them. But even so, he had never seen him like this…so…rattled. On the verge of breaking. He wouldn’t leave him to go it alone.

_It’s what friends do…_

They sat in silence. It was overwhelming. Deafening, even. He wanted to ask questions, say something, anything, to fill the space between them. But that wasn’t his place. It was up to Eren to break it.

“It’s sickle cell anemia.” Eren’s voice was quiet when he spoke, eyes on the doors in front of him, bright light behind closed blinds. “She’s had it…well forever. But…it’s gotten worse in the past few years. The pain has gotten a lot harder on her. My dad, he’s a doctor here, y’know? So she gets the treatment she needs.”

Eren paused, waiting for some sort of response, his eyes flicking to Levi just long enough to see him nod, his eyes focused on the brunet.

“She’s up here often enough, getting fluids and blood transfusions on a regular basis. I try to visit her on those days. Dad is too busy to see to her himself,” There was more than a little bite to those words, “so I try to stay with her during the treatments. She says my company is as good as the treatment,” He smiled softly at the thought. “Really, I think I’m just a distraction from the pain. Mikasa visits when she can, too.”

When he didn’t seem like he was going to continue, Levi spoke up. “Do things like,” he gestured toward the room, “this happen often?”

Eren shook his head solemnly. “No, not really. I don’t know what happened, but they said she’s okay. We just…can’t go in until they finished checking her over and hooking her up. It…could be awhile.”

Green eyes refused to look at him, lips working together as Eren clearly debated on his next words. Levi knew what they were without him having to say them.

“I don’t mind.” He didn’t look at Eren. He knew how hard it was, people smiling and saying it’s okay, trying to be supportive but only serving to ignite anger founded in pity meant to be sympathy that could be seen in those eyes. He wouldn’t do that to Eren.

He would say nothing of the sort, instead slipping his hand down between them. The chairs were pushed together, and he knew Eren needed presence not pretty words. Taking a small breath, he hooked his pinky with the brunet’s.

It was a small gesture, chaste and innocent. But it was there. It was a ‘you’re not alone.’ It was enough to nearly break Eren. Levi didn’t miss the way the brunet’s hand tensed, accepting the gesture, or the way his throat tightened and he swallowed hard, eyes turning quickly from their linked fingers to the door as he fought down the urge to cry.

“So the girl at the coffee shop…” Levi’s voice was calm. He had to be.

“What?”

“You know her pretty well?”

Eren turned to look at him. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous, Levi.”

Steel eyes deadpanned toward him. “Right, so we’re pretending that I couldn’t take you to the coma ward here and now and see if we could ‘disturb the patients’?” Levi stared unerringly, and Eren couldn’t help but laugh shakily.

“She’s my roommate. We went to highschool together. Armin lived with us for awhile, but him and Jean moved into his grandpa’s house.”

“So you work at a bakery and she works at a coffee shop and you both likely deliver to the boss. How cute.”

Eren shook his head, and Levi wondered if he had even noticed that he was calming down just from talking about useless matters. “She actually owns it. Well, co-owns. Her, Bert, and Reiner. They’ve been friends since they were kids. I guess you haven’t met Bert and Reiner yet, huh? They were busy…er…recovering from their date when we went to the movies.”

“Jesus fuck and I thought we had a lot of gay among my friends.”

Eren let out a laugh, shrugging lightly. “Yeah, we like variety. Mikasa, Connie, and Sasha are straight. Mostly. Mikasa’s on the fence but by her own words, ‘vaginas are fucking weird.’”

Before they could say anything else, the door across the hall opened and Eren pushed to his feet, unlinking their fingers in the process. The nurse beckoned him in, the brunet stopping in the doorway to say something to her. Her eyes moved from Levi, back to Eren, and she hesitated a moment before nodding.

Eren stepped back toward him, hands fidgeting. “Um…if you want, you can come in.”

 _Like I have much choice at this point._ Levi nodded, standing and following his lead. He stayed behind him, trying to stay as generally out of the way as he could.

“They’re going to fill a prescription of hydroxyurea. It should help with the more severe pain you’ve been having.” He watched as an older man with long, dark-gray hair and glasses leaned down and kissed Eren’s mother.  Green eyes hadn’t stopped shooting him the stank eye, not until he had left the room. Levi could only assume that was Eren’s father, whom he clearly had less than love for.

“Eren, you didn’t have to come…” Her voice was soft, a cold hand squeezing her son’s as he leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“Of course I did, Mom. What happened?”

Levi felt out of place, the ghost in the room that everyone was pretending they couldn’t see. He had no place being here. This was a place for family, and he wasn’t that.

“It was nothing, Eren, really. I lost track of time and let my blood sugar drop too low. I fell, is all.”

“What do you mean that’s all? Look at yourself.” Eren gingerly touched the bandage wrapped around her head.

“Nothing some fluids and a few stitches won’t take care of.” She let out a soft laugh, smiling up at him, and Levi was certain he took after her. “I’m sorry I worried you, Eren.”

“It’s—” Eren’s voice caught in his throat. “I’m just happy you’re going to be all right.”

There was a moment of silence between them before his mother spoke again. “And just today I was thinking how I could get you to introduce me to this new boy of yours. Looks like all I had to do was make an unscheduled trip to the hospital.”

“What? Mom, no—” Eren looked back at Levi frantically, and the older man didn’t miss the way his cheeks were darkened with a blush.

Levi took a step forward, moving to Eren’s side. The woman in the bed looked tired, frail, her skin pale compared to her son’s naturally tanned flesh. She looked different than he remembered, but she was inarguably Carla.

“You’re—” She had barely gotten the word out before he spoke up.

“Levi. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Jaeger.” He didn’t quite smile, nodding to her softly.

“Levi…so you’re the one Mikasa’s told me about. My son’s…”

“Friend.”

There was a pause of hesitation, Carla looking to Eren who nodded his agreement. “Friend.” She smiled softy at Levi, her fingers reaching out enough to tug at the sleeve of his hoodie. “No suit today?”

Levi grinned crookedly, shaking his head softly. “That was a one-time-only specialty.”

“Good.”

Eren looked between them, questions burning in his eyes. Questions that would have to wait till later, Carla pulling his attention back to her. Levi had no intention of answering them now, anyway.

Eventually Mikasa had shown up, eyes glancing uncertainly between the two of them before shooing Eren off to get some obviously much needed sleep.

The ride back to the museum was much slower, and safer. He had felt Eren go limp against his back, fingers still gripping into his jacket somehow. Levi did his best to make the ride smooth, instead opting to continue past to his apartment.

“Wait why are we here?” Eren handed Levi his helmet, trying not to wobble where he stood.

Levi sighed and shook his head. “Because you somehow fell asleep on a fucking motorcycle—”

“I wasn’t asleep!”

“ _Because you fell asleep on a motorcycle_ and you look like you’re about to pass out where you stand. I don’t know how to get to your apartment, so yeah. You can crash on my couch or something.”

It was obvious Eren wanted to argue, but instead a long, eye-watering yawn came out. He followed Levi onto the elevator and into his apartment.

“Hang your jacket on the back of the door. I’m going to shower.” He shuddered as he kicked off his shoes at the door, Eren following suit. “I smell like hospital.”

Eren let out a little laugh, following him and stopping at the living area. “Hey, Levi?”

“Hm?”

“What did my mom mean about the suit?”

Levi tensed, pausing at the hallway and shaking his head. “I’ll tell you later, Eren.” He rounded the corner and shut the bathroom door behind him.

Eren didn’t push, not that he was given a chance. His eyes wandered the apartment. It was immaculately clean, not surprising, and he found that he liked its open-floor layout. He was, however, surprised by the spot of white in the grayscaled kitchen.

A smiled pulled at his lips as he moved closer and realized it was the peony. It had lost its scent, a few petals had fallen onto the counter, and it was beginning to brown around the edges. He was certain if he touched it, it would shatter. Even so, Levi had kept it after all.

He didn’t—couldn’t— think on it too much, instead taking Levi’s advice and plopping onto the couch. He barely remembered his head hitting the pillow before sleep took him, well before the squeak of the shower shutting off could reach his ears.

Levi walked slowly through the apartment, looking around as if expecting Eren to have destroyed his safe haven just by invading it. He found nothing out of place beyond the sleeping form curled up on his couch. Carefully, he pulled the fleece throw from the back of the couch and draped it over the sleeping man; as long as he stayed curled up it would cover him well enough.

He pushed his hands into the pocket of his hooded shirt, watching as Eren slowly breathed in and out, relaxing into the cool comfort of his couch. Levi reached toward him, long fingers tenderly brushing the hair back from his face. His hand flinched, pulling back as if burned, a heavy sigh lodging itself in his chest.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i've made Levi really ooc the past two chapters and Im sorry if i have. 
> 
> as always, i fucking feed off of comments. sustain me.


	10. ALWAYS TRUST THE INJUSTICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i dont know if i really need to put a warning for it, but there's some fuckboy harassment in this chapter.
> 
> also, i'm so sorry it took so long to update this. there's been a lot of shit going on in my life and between the normal shit and [this crap here](http://jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle.tumblr.com/post/110856359338/okay-so-i-really-hate-having-to-do-this-but-as), well i've been too stressed to write. I will try to update more frequently from here on out.

Levi wasn’t sure how he got roped into doing this every year. He never was able to say no to Petra, not after everything they’d been through together. And so, he found himself standing in the entryway of one of those big ass Halloween outlets, the kind that rent out an empty warehouse in the area every year.

He let out an uncomfortable sigh, arms crossed over his chest as he tried to ignore the tile that most certainly used to be white and the smell of shitty fog machines and cheap rubber masks. He only came to places like these because the ginger asked him to, and standing alone in the entryway was less than thrilling. A few employees had come to ‘help’ him, only to stumble over their words and leave as quickly as they could without being rude; there were perks to having resting bitch face.

Levi had known Petra was going to be late. She had text him letting him know her car wouldn’t start. She had assured him that she would be fine and he didn’t need to come get her, just that she’d be late. He should have just waited in the car, but a vast majority of the country was getting the largest cold spell they’d seen in his lifetime, and Trost was smack-dab in the middle of it all.

It was cold. Very fucking cold. Jack Frost bukkake on the windshield cold. Even with his hoodie, jean jacket, and a scarf—because he was far too stubborn to bother buying a real winter coat—he still couldn’t escape Jack’s grubby fingers. He had thought waiting in the store was the better alternative to running his car for heat, but he was starting to second guess that decision.

Before he could bother to escape back to his car, the sound of the automated doors opening behind him drew his attention, along with a very familiar voice.

“Sorry it took so long, Levi.” Green eyes smiled down at him, the younger man looking dapper with his nearly black peacoat and blue scarf, long hair only adding to the appeal.

Levi still wasn’t sure why Petra had invited Eren. He assumed it was some form of encouragement for the older man to give him a chance for more than friends; something that she, Hanji, and Erwin had all been doing for some time, with varying levels of subtlety. And yet, Petra’s smile was genuine, and she had long since stopped giving him those eyes that used to say ‘see, good boyfriend material.’

Despite inner protests, he couldn’t help think that it might be time to accept that she invited him along purely because she enjoys Eren’s company. Petra didn’t invite him to try to show him off to Levi; she brought him because she considers him a friend.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.” Petra smiled, lacking all hesitation as she pulled Levi down by his jacket and pressed a kissed to his cheek; the raven only wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug and accepted the kiss. It was clearly a regular greeting between the two of them.

“I was starting to think bright eyes over here got lost.” Levi’s hands were tucked in his pockets, instead nodding his chin toward the brunet.

Eren’s protest, however, was cut off when Petra spoke up. “He did one better, actually. Kid actually fixed my car.”

Steel eyes turned from the ginger to the Eren, who had a shit eating grin on his face. Fucking proud of himself. Levi’s eyes then caught on black splotches on dark-skinned fingers and found himself grimacing instinctually.

Eren followed his line of sight before holding his hands up in surrender. “They’re clean, I swear! Just stained.”

Levi hummed his acknowledgement, nose still crinkling at the sight.

“Oh stop it,” Petra smiled, slapping the back of her hand against Levi’s chest. “He fixed my car, stop being a turd.”

Eren snorted at that; Levi shooting him a glare only served to make him laugh more. Petra let out a sigh grabbing both of them by the arm and pulling them into the store before it turned into awkward prolonged eye contact.

The shorter man didn’t say much as he followed them around, eyeing different stands and their various merchandise. He was far from interested in touching the rubber masks hanging on the wall, a distaste Eren didn’t seem to share. Though he mostly used his hand to make the mouths move and had the decency to refrain from putting the germ garden on his head. He did, however, put on a pair of fake glasses and proceed to use what was probably every big word he had in his vocabulary.

Levi only rolled his eyes, but he had to admit that Eren looked good in glasses.

“Come on, Levi, don’t be such a party-pooper.” Petra gave him a little pout, encouraging him to come closer and at least attempt to be sociable.

The raven rolled his eyes, teeth working the metal on the inside of his lip as he stepped closer to the pair. “So who just decides to fix a car?”

Eren’s lip twitched with a smile, and he shrugged as he turned his eyes back to the wall of robes. “I was there and if you haven’t noticed its cold as balls out there. Didn’t want her breaking down and being stranded.”

“Oh.” Somehow Levi hadn’t expected that, thoroughly feeling like a jackass for previously feeling inconvenienced. “That was…nice of you.”

Petra giggled and rolled her eyes at Levi’s lame attempt at thanks and apology. “It was, though Auruo was grumbly about how ‘he could have done that.’” She rolled her eyes, turning to them with mirth. “I love that big dork but he hasn’t worked on a car a day in his life.”

“Y’know, you didn’t really strike me as the greasemonkey type. Where’d you learn to _just fix a car_ , anyway?” Levi leaned against the side of the wall, to the objections of one of the cashiers on the floor—who quickly turned and walked away when she recognized him from earlier at the entryway.

“Oh, uh,” He smiled, a little bashful at the sudden interest in his life and feeling a little like he wasn’t being interrogated. He could only assume it was because of Petra’s presence; everyone knew she was like a sister to Levi. “Sasha taught me, actually. You remember her—?”

“The girl with the food for tits.”

“Levi—!”

Eren’s laughter stopped whatever rebuke Petra was going to say, and a small smile tugged at Levi’s lips. “Yeah, that’s her. She works at my uncle Hannes’ mechanic shop. She’s good, too. He plans to let her take over when he retires.” He shrugged carelessly. “When my car broke down in highschool, she fixed it. But instead of just fixing it, she let me help. It became a habit after that to come by the shop and help.”

“Doctor’s son working on cars? Sure he loved that.”

“Sure he wasn’t around enough to care.” Tension threatened to settle over them, but Eren only smiled instead, reminiscent. “Good thing about cars, they can handle just about any amount of anger you can let out on them. And no one questions your mouth when you’re yelling at the engine of a car.”

“And now you’re a baker?” Levi quirked an eyebrow at him curiously, Eren grinning in response.

“What can I say? I’m good with my hands.” He smirked, waggling his eyebrows.

Levi only stared at him flatly, mirthlessly, before pushing past him and walking toward another part of the store.

“One of these days he’s gonna punch you.” Petra smiled, taking a few steps backward toward Levi.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t yet.” Still, Eren could only grin, following the other two.

Eventually, they found their way toward the main costume part of the store. There variety was larger than they had expected, though all of them were more than a little disappointed by the women’s selection, which mostly consisted of ‘sexy’ or ‘sassy’ versions of the men’s costumes.

Of course that didn’t stop Petra from trying them on, or from having fun with it.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve surprised Auruo with getups that had more material than this.” She snorted, turning to look at herself in a particularly short skirt, a shirt that showed her midriff and a pair of cat ears on her head. “What is this even supposed to be?”

Levi held up the bag the costume had been in, looking for the name. “Kawaii Kitty.”

Petra turned to him with mirthless disbelief. “Wow. Sexist and Racist. I’m sure if I look hard enough I’ll find one that’s even homophobic.”

The security guard could only snort and lean against the wall outside of the dressing rooms, watching with amusement as the small woman ripped the fake ears from her head and started undoing the shirt before she was even behind the safety of the curtain.

“Spunky little thing isn’t she?” Eren grinned, stopping near the dressing room.

“Careful, she’ll hear—” He didn’t have a chance to finish before a crumpled ball of red blurred by, whapping him in the face and falling to the floor. “—You.”

Eren only laughed, bending down to pick up the skirt and moving to sit in the chair next to Levi. “Yeah, thanks for the warning.”

Levi only hummed his ‘you’re welcome’, smiling to himself. There was silence between them, the occasional sound of angry shuffling of clothes inciting small bouts of laughter.

“So how’d she get you to come along?”

Eren looked at him quizzically for a moment, not understanding. “She just asked?”

Levi only blinked and started at him. “And you came?” The brunet shrugged, clearly not understanding why it seemed so weird. The shorter man often forgot that most people socialized just to socialize. “Did she tell you I was going to be here?”

The brunet could feel a light blush on his cheeks, hearing the unspoken question. Did you come just because I was going to be here?

“Was she not supposed to?” A small smile graced his lips, wondering why it seemed to…unsettle Levi that he had befriended the dark-haired man’s friends.

“I guess—”

“Maker’s dick, Levi, I don’t think he came in the hopes of sucking your dick!” Now Eren was definitely blushing, and even Levi’s ears were a little pink. “You’re just gonna have to accept that we like the kid, even Auruo doesn’t mind having him around.” She winked at Eren as she walked past him, moving to look at the costumes as if she had said something completely casual.

“Uh, Levi, I—”

“Don’t.” The shorter man didn’t even look at him, following Petra and willing his ears to return to normal. It wasn’t nearly cold enough in here to blame the temperature and, unlike Eren, he didn’t have dark skin to help hide the pink.

“Hey Levi, how do you feel about hunters?” Petra asked as he neared.

“It’s pretty fucked up to get your rocks off by killing an animal when they did nothing to deserve it and anyone who does should have their gun shoved so far up their ass it ends up behind their eyes.” His response was completely factual, no space for argument or convincing him that it was anything less than true.

“Yeah, that’s great, killer, but that’s not what I meant.” She gestured to another costume, the female version of a supernatural bounty hunter.

“I’m sure you’ll look great, Petra. What’s it have to do with me?”

“Well, I may not have been a thousand percent honest with you. I was sorta hoping you’d um maybe wear a matching costume?” She let out a little nervous laugh, grabbing the costume from the shelf.

“…Why?”

Petra let out a small sigh, turning to him with just the slightest pleading of her eyes—Eren smiled when he saw this, knowing Levi had already lost. “Well Auruo can’t come; turns out he has to work that night. I was kinda hoping since you’re gonna be there anyway we could match? Unless you’re going with someone else?” Her eyes flicked to Eren and back, the suggestion obvious.

Levi let out a sigh. “We’re all going there together anyway.” He rolled his eyes, shifting his weight and running his fingers back through his hair. “Fine. Where’s this stupid shit you’re going to make me wear?”

Petra let out a little pleased sound, moving quickly to the men’s section and homing in on the bag that held the match to her own—albeit with much more clothing. “Here, now go get dressed! I want to see it on you before we buy it!” She didn’t give him much of a choice, shoving it against his chest and disappearing into the dressing room to change into her costume.

“You never stood a chance.” Eren grinned, standing watch at the doorway.

“Yeah I fucking know. And so does she.” Levi shook his head, holding up the costume in silent explanation before he walked to the other side of the men’s section to make use of the second changing room.

Eren hadn’t waited long before Petra came out. It was a simplistic version of any Victorian dress, with the puffed sleeves cut open at the bicep and the skirt shortened to midthigh, and then shortened even more but a flouncy tutu. The ginger was holding a corset around her waist, smiling helplessly at the brunet.

“Could you help? I can’t zip this up.” She turned around, the corset falling loosely at her side.

“Oh, yeah, just—” Carefully, he zipped up the back of the corset, fitted tightly to her body, rigid with plastic ribbing. “How’s that?”

“Great, thanks. How’s it look?” Petra fluffed up the skirt, Eren nodding approvingly. “Its kinda short, I figure I can wear some leggings underneath, maybe some boots or something to sorta badass it up y’know?”

Before Eren could respond, there was a distinct whistle from nearby, and both knew it wasn’t Levi.

“And here I thought you couldn’t look any better than you did in the pussy getup. But you proved me wrong.” The male, no older than Eren, licked his lips as he leered down at her, his hand casually grabbing his crotch in a motion that said it was probably something he did frequently.

Petra said nothing, lips pressing together and immediately lifting her arms to cross across her chest, shifting slightly behind Eren.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. It was a compliment. I’d totally fuck you. Bet a little spitfire like you just _loves_ being creamed.”

“I’m not available.” Petra said through gritted teeth, torn between kicking this guy in the ‘nads or hiding because she had heard enough stories about guys like him to know what happens when you say no.

“Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know.”

“Dude, back off, _I’m_ the boyfriend.” Eren stood in front of her, opening his chest and standing as confidently as he could. He was shorter than this stranger, who was in basketball shorts and a way-too-fucking-big shirt with giant letters that read ‘make me a sandwich.’

Eren had to refrain from rolling his eyes, refusing to back down and knowing guys like this would more likely respond to him saying back off than Petra saying no.

“Fuck off, man. Can’t you see I’m trying to get some pussy?”

Eren swallowed hard, shoulders tense but unmoving. “Can’t you fucking see _my girlfriend_ isn’t fucking interested?”

“Levi…” Petra’s voice was barely above a whisper, fingers twisting into the sleeve of Eren’s jacket, her eyes catching the shorter man coming out of the dressing room. He had immediately taken in the situation and was watching closely, approaching from across the store but hoping the brunet would be able to talk their way out of it, ready to jump in if need be.

“Oh that’s fucking rich! He another professor? You sucking his cock, too? Or maybe you just fucking bend over his desk and beg for that fucking A+ creampie? That why you grew your hair long, so he can pretend you’re a girl, fucking faggot!”

Eren swallowed hard, hands squeezing into fists, his blunt nails digging into his palm and knuckles turning white, but he said nothing.

“I’m gonna go change, Eren.” Petra’s voice was small as she turned away from them.

“It’s your fault, fucking whore dressed like that. Just fucking asking for that ass to be torn open.” The male grinned, reaching past Eren and flipping up Petra’s skirt, fingers running along the ass of her undies.

She squeaked with surprise, pulling away and pushing her skirt down as she turned to find Levi, who was already springing into action. In the same moment, Eren pulled the guy away by his shirtfront, reeling back and hitting full force into his jaw. The heavy thud of the man landing on the ground, hard and unconscious, was nothing short of satisfying.

Eren’s brows were furrowed, his eyes nearly glowing as he breathed heavily and stood over the man, almost snarling. He didn’t hesitate turning to Petra, hands carefully smoothing down her hair and making sure she was unharmed. She smiled and assured him she was.

“Are you okay?” Levi grabbed her shoulders, looking into her eyes, carefully searching.

“I’m fine, Levi. Just…uncomfortable.” She smiled softly and patted his hands.

The raven nodded, letting go of her shoulders and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry, I should have been here.”

“I’m _fine_. You were like fifteen feet away, I’m okay.”

Levi looked away from her, brows furrowed and apparently panicking more than she was. “I never should have left you alone—”

“You _didn’t_ , Levi. I wasn’t alone. _Eren was here._ ” She shook her head, patting the brunet’s shoulder and smiling her thanks up to him, and maybe even looking apologetic. She wasn’t the only one to be shaken up by the creeper. “I’m going to get changed. By the way, you look great, Levi.”

It was then that Eren turned to him, noting the tunic and torn up duster jacket. He still wore his usual tight black pants, refusing to wear the ones that came with the costume, and the boots he had on before but with extra belts and a sheath for a stake at his thigh.

Eren had always had a weakness for fantastical dress.

“Whoa, you can put your stake in me any time.” The words came out without thinking, green eyes ogling the shorter man, who only deadpanned until he heard Petra laugh from behind the curtain.

“What the fuck happened?” Levi sighed angrily. Angry that he hadn’t been there. Angry that someone had harassed and had intent to assault Petra. Angry that people like that still existed in the world. Angry at himself.

“You saw what happened, didn’t you?” Levi nodded, taking off the costume and folding it in the chair; black t-shirt still on under it all.

“I didn’t hear it, though. What did he say to you?” Levi leaned across from Eren, both standing guard outside the doorway.

“It was…” Eren averted his eyes, avoiding looking directly at Levi. “It was nothing important. Just some vulgar shit.”

Levi hummed, turning to look at the guy, still unconscious with a slowly bruising cheek. “You know him?”

Eren shook his head. “Nah, just some frat boy.”

“Where’d you learn to do that anyway?” Eren looked at him questioningly and he rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, not everyone knows how to properly knock someone out with one punch.”

A smile tugged at the younger man’s lips, a small laugh pushing from them, maybe a little proud. “Heh, that. Connie’s a lightweight mma fighter. He’s taught me a few things.”

Levi didn’t miss the slight sadness that flashed behind those eyes, and he wondered just what had led to that particular training session. “Little Connie? Didn’t expect that one.”

“Says the 5’3 security guard.”

The sound of the curtain sliding open, along with a laughing Petra, cut off whatever rebuttal Levi had. She seemed much calmer, almost chipper. “If you two are done feeling each other out,” She winked casually at them and turned away, carelessly stepping on the unconscious creep’s stomach instead of _over_ him, “I’d love to get home to my fiancé.”

Levi smiled softly at her, nodding and gathering the costume from the chair. They grabbed the bag from the dressing room on their way to the cashier, Petra insisting she pay for both. They were pulling their coats back on, bags in hand, when the redhead pulled her phone from her pocket. She brightened a bit, then turned to the pair with a bit of guilt in her eyes.

“What’s up, Petra?” Eren was tugging his scarf around his neck, not minding that his hair was tucked into it.

“That was Auruo. He wanted to go down the plaza.” It was obvious she wanted to go, but didn’t want to ask Levi for a favor.

“Which is in the opposite direction of your house, where Eren’s car is.” She hummed her agreement. Without complaint, he pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. “Go on, I’ll give the kid a ride home.”

“Ah—I can call a cab, really I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything!”

Levi gave him a deadpan expression, licking over his lips without amusement. “Eren, it’s really not a problem. It’s what friends do, right?”

Eren lit up, eyes widening as he fought down a smile, giving him that same excited puppy look that he gave Levi when he’d first agreed to give him a second chance. It was a decision he had thought he’d greatly regret, and was secretly pleased to have been mostly wrong.

“Thanks, you two.” She stood on her toes, pressing a kiss to both their cheeks before turning toward the door, waving over her shoulder at them.

Levi pulled his hood over his head, fighting against the growing cold and wind that put a bite in the temperature drop. He knew Eren was following behind him, uncharacteristically silent. He unlocked his car; a black Nissan that wasn’t much less mom car than the brunet’s, just a bit sleeker.

It was, however, newer than Eren’s, and much cleaner. He kept it mostly spotless, even keeping a little container of disinfectant wipes in the console. He turned over the engine, glad it only took a few seconds for the vents to start blowing hot air—perk of a newer car.

“’s nice.” Eren looked around the car, hands tucked between his thighs to warm his fingers.

“Thanks.”

Neither said anything after that. The radio was on to fill the silence, and Levi continued to sneak glances as the brunet. He had been noticeably quiet since the confrontation; completely opposite than expected for someone who had justifiably punched a guy out.

And he had been making that face since they had left; brows furrowed and lips pressed tight together, eyes gazing out the window at nothing in particular because clearly his mind was locked elsewhere.

“So…thanks.”

Eren finally turned to him, waiting to see if there was more.

“I’m glad you were there, is all.”

“You two are really close, huh?”

It wasn’t a line of questioning Levi was thrilled with, knowing where it would lead. But at least Eren was talking, and he couldn’t help but hope the brunet might divulge what was gnawing away at his mind.

“Yeah, we’ve been through a lot.”

Eren sucked on his bottom lips before braving the question. “Were you two ever…together?”

Levi snorted, actually laughing at the thought. “No? No. Great girl, but not for me, not in that way. Strictly platonic.”

The brunet didn’t say anything else, turning back toward the window. The silence continued, but he seemed a little less tense than before. It was something, at least.

Levi wasn’t good at this cheering people up thing.

It didn’t take long for them the pull up in front of Petra’s house, Levi shifting the car into park and allowing it to idle as Eren awkwardly dug through his pockets for his keys.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Hm?”

“Um…do you maybe want to come with me to Armin’s house..?” Levi quirked an eyebrow at him questioningly, and Eren waved his hands a little frantically. “I uh, not today! I was going to help them decorate for the party is all. I thought maybe um you’d…”

The raven noticed the way he fiddled with his keys, the way his body was curled inward. He had been…off since the confrontation and now he was somehow awkward, his normal confidence—fake or not—was gone.

“Yeah.”

“I mean you don’t ha—wait what?” Eren turned to him, disbelief in his eyes. The smallest of smiles tugged at Levi’s lips, the brunet perking up as he realized he hadn’t misheard him. “Really? That’s—heh, then I’ll see you then?” The younger man didn’t wait for Levi to say more, slipping out of the car and nearly skipping toward his own.

Levi shook his head, watching and waiting for him to get his car started and pull away. Letting out a slow breath, he instinctively rubbed over the tattoo on his thumb before shifting back into drive.

_What are you fucking doing?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so next chapter is going to be short, i think. it was kind of unplanned so uh sorry for those of you who thought next chapter something was gonna happen. gotta wait another chapter.
> 
> as always, please comment. i love comments. i live on comments.
> 
> any questions or whatever my tumblr is jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle


	11. THOUGH MY EYES COULD SEE, I STILL WAS A BLIND MAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh heehe  
> 

Over the two weeks that followed their outing, Eren had yet to make an appearance at the museum. It was unusual, the brunet commonly showing up a few times a week. However, the two weeks before Halloween were rush weeks at his bakery, and he had agreed to work every day if it meant he’d have the holiday itself off.

Still, Levi couldn’t help but feel somewhat at a loss for his visits, which only left him…unsettled. Not that he’d ever admit it, even to himself.

Eren was busy, and it left Levi to his own devices; which mostly meant he went back to spending his time playing video games or reading or watching shows he rarely admitted liking for the fifth time. Whatever let him remain a recluse in his apartment.

He had tried texting Eren a few times, but those were limited, too, mostly just a morning and evening greeting. Levi almost worried that he’d done something to put him off.

It bothered him. Mostly, the fact that it bothered him bothered him.

And then his stomach twisted as he opened his work locker to find a small pastry wrapped in pink paper from the bakery. Levi couldn’t help but smile, slender fingers gingerly picking up the package. There was a small card underneath it, the kind that customers could put with gift purchases.

‘ _Sorry I missed you_ ツ’

Levi couldn’t stop the way a smile tugged at his lips; he wanted to stop it, but he couldn’t.

“Ooh, secret admirer?”

The security guard jumped, nearly throwing the pastry back into the locker, the metal door jarring against the neighboring compartment. Flustered, he turned to see Petra trying to stifle her laughter.

“Wow, Levi, really? We all know it’s from Eren, anyway.”

Levi pressed his lips together, turning back to put his bag in the locker, careful not to put it on top of the pastry despite pretending not to care. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I asked for it or anything.”

Petra rolled her eyes and snorted. “You’re adorable. He was pretty bummed he missed you. Shoulda seen those big eyes pout. Got quite a little puppy dog on your hands, don’t you.”

Grumbling, he shut his locker with a little more force than necessary, not dignifying her comment with a response before starting his shift.

Levi found his day passed quickly, much to his surprise. He had grown accustomed to visitors (well, _a_ visitor), and to have none for the past two weeks had made his days long. Longer so as they neared Halloween and more and more children came in for the exhibits, the parents taking advantage of holiday prices.

Yet, time moved regularly, the raven enjoying his break—and ignoring the look from Petra when he unwrapped the pastry—before Armin let him off for the day, the museum shutting down a few hours early ‘due to holiday.’

Nearly an hour had passed when Levi arrived at Armin’s house; enough time to wash the filth of the day away and get changed. The house was larger than he had expected, but more surprisingly was the large smile that greeted him upon arrival.

“You came.” Eren was still grinning, hair pulled back and thin t-shirt hanging just right on his body.

“I said I would.” Fighting to urge to roll his eyes, or smile, he nodded toward the brunet. “Kinda fucking cold for a t-shirt isn’t it?” He pushed past Eren and into the house, immediately regretting the decision to wear a long sleeved shirt under his layers.

The house was hot, surprisingly so. He imagined it was probably comfortable in lighter wear, but he wasn’t dressed for it.

“Fuck, it’s hot.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Armin smiled apologetically from his place on the floor, assisting his boyfriend in the fight he was currently losing against a bag of faux spider webs. “Old house, old wood-burning stove.”

Levi only nodded, mindlessly placing his jackets in Eren’s outstretched hand. “I’m sure it’s great on the bills.”

Armin hummed his agreement. “Yeah, it helps.”

Stepping nearer to them, he pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and glanced around the house. He tried to focus on the task at hand, ignoring how uncomfortably hot he was.

“So where do you need me, Boss?”

Armin snorted, eyeing Levi’s reddening cheeks. “The bedroom.” The security guard looked down at him quizzically. “Jean, could you?”

Jean grinned and pushed to his feet, glad to be free of the task of detangling the spiders from the webs. “And here I thought Eren would be the first to get you into the bedroom.” His snickers were interrupted as said brunet quickly moved past them, jabbing his fingers into his kidney and receiving a pained oomph followed by a grin.

Once Levi had changed, ignoring the fact that even one of Armin’s t-shirts was a bit too long on him, he returned to the living room. Still a bit warm, he found it much more comfortable and could actually focus on what they were supposed to be doing.

The four of them fell into useless chatter, mostly amongst the three younger men. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. Levi didn’t feel out of place. It was…different. He couldn’t really place it; it made him feel unsettled but not unhappy.

It didn’t take long for Eren and Jean to get the webs tacked to the ceiling, Levi taking care to stretch them enough to fasten them closer to the floor without snapping the thin thread. Armin was busying himself with the mantle near the stove; taking down its normal decorations and replacing them with more festive things. Like decapitated heads.

“Eight heads in a duffel bag.” The three younger, and begrudgingly taller, turned their attention to Levi, but only Armin smiled. A wide, maybe proud, grin.

“Yeah. You’re the first to pick up on it. Annie gave them to me after she finished classes on special effects makeup. They were her final inanimate project.” Armin turned happily, looking over the mannequin heads.

“I don’t remember them being quite so gruesome.” Armin only hummed his agreement as Levi brushed a slender finger over the surface of a particular nasty cheek gouge. “The damage looks real. She’s good.”

“Very. Made for a few fucking terrifying pranks.” Jean rolled his eyes, voice mirthless. “Apparently they lost interest after seeing a grown man cry his eyes out over his boyfriend’s mangled body.”

“No one likes to see a horse cry.” Eren was trying to bite back laughter, something Armin failed to do, when Jean launched a pillow into his face.

Levi only shook his head at the three, but he couldn’t help a small smile. If he had to, he’d admit he wasn’t having a bad time. The three of them reminded him of Erwin and Hanji.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but the large living and dining room was quickly turning from old but welcoming to grungy but festive. Webs had made their way through the rest of the house and they were currently trying to sort out gruesome overlays for the walls. Well, Levi was. The others didn’t much care if there were creases or not, but they bothered him and he was trying his best to rub them out. Jean had just finished stuffing an old flannel shirt and Freddy Krueger mask in the corner when Armin came in from the kitchen, phone to his ear.

“What kind of pizza do you guys want? Already got a half Hawaiian, half Canadian bacon. And a cheese.”

“Extra cheese.” Levi didn’t turn, focused on his task but knowing that the blond had heard, giving the order alteration to the phone.

“Yeah, and half pepperoni. Thirty minutes? Okay, thanks, you too.” Armin smiled, hanging up the phone and turning toward kitchen. “They must be slow tonight. Good for us.”

The task at hand became less and less focused on, instead more small adjustments and waiting for the food, all of them suddenly realizing how hungry they were. Eren stood at Levi’s side, deciding it prudent to help him press out the creases in the plastic. More likely, he just wanted to be close to him. He couldn’t help humming along with music playing, Levi turning away to hide his smile at the act.

However, no one missed the way Jean moved behind Armin, wrapping his arms around his waist. The blond was back to decorating a shelf, not that that deterred his boyfriend. Smiling, he swayed with him, humming to the song and slowly pulling him into a dance. It was nothing extravagant, just him pulling him close and nuzzling into his neck, hips shifting their weight from side to side.

Eren smiled, looking from them to Levi to the plastic sheets and back to the older man again. He didn’t react beyond narrowing steel-blue eyes and looking down at the brunet suspiciously.

Leaving the sheets as they were, Eren straightened. “I’ve always wanted to dance, like really dance.” Big green eyes turned toward Levi, hinting about a subtle as a brick.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” He kept his arms crossed over his chest, looking up at him.

“I—nothing.” Eren let out an almost imperceptible sigh, turning back to look longingly at the dancing couple.

Levi rolled his eyes, stifling a groan. In one swift movement, he pulled Eren’s hand above them, spinning the young man—who let out an undignified sound of surprise—he let the hand go before it reached its apex. Fluidly slipping his hand down to brace the brunet’s back Levi caught most of the taller man’s weight on his thigh, his other hand pulling a long leg up his hip in a way to balance the brunet’s body.

Surprised green eyes stared, wide, up at Levi, a pink flush on dark cheeks. Neither said anything, Eren’s mouth working but no sound coming out; and too enraptured to remember that Armin and Jean were watching.

Before Levi could say anything, the chime of the doorbell echoed throughout the house. The raven just grinned, ungracefully dropping Eren onto the carpeted floor with an oof!

“Levi what the fuck was—”

“You said you wanted to dance.”

“Well yeah, but,” Eren pushed to his feet, unharmed. “I didn’t know you could dance like _that_.”

Levi shrugged, following Jean to the kitchen to help with drinks. “Moblit wanted to learn before he proposed to Hanji, but he was embarrassed to take the courses on his own.”

“You’re too short to partner him.”

“Unless he followed.” Jean added, putting ice into four cups.

Levi shot daggers at them both. “Me, Mike, Erwin, and Auruo joined him so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed about it. Though I think Mike only came because Nana was teaching the class.”

“That’s…actually really nice of you.”

Letting the smallest of smirks tug at his lips, he grabbed one of the cups. “Don’t tell anyone; might ruin my reputation.”

“Wouldn’t want that.” Eren snorted in response, both he and Jean following Levi back to the living room.

Armin had already paid the pizza guy, both pizza boxes open in the middle of the living room floor and napkins spread around them, a slice of pepperoni pizza in his hand and a bite in his mouth. “Figured the table’s a little occupado.”

None of them argued, taking a seat around the pizza and carefully setting their drinks nearby. Levi was certain they expected him to argue, but as much as he hated filth, he couldn’t really say he didn’t enjoy the occasional no-plate-pizza. It’s not like Armin’s house wasn’t clean, anyway. And it was nice sometimes to just sit around and eat junk food with friends.

Yeah, friends.

“So what, are you finally gonna give sluterella a chance?” Jean asked around a mouthful of Canadian bacon, crinkling his nose at the way Eren gobbled down his Hawaiian pizza. Who the fuck puts pineapple on pizza.

“Sluterella..?” Levi quirked an eyebrow, Eren and Jean only grinning at the name. “Anyway—aren’t I a little old for you, kid? Doesn’t bother you that I’m fucking seven years older than you?”

Eren only shrugged, pushing his food into the side of his mouth. “Not really, I’ve dated an older guy before.”

The older of them took a bite of his food, staring at Eren. Whenever he was that nonchalant about something, there was always a story behind it. It was something Levi had learned about him rather quickly. Like the flower. And the book. And the understanding of anxiety.

“Wha?” The brunet took another bite of food, averting his eyes.

“Tell him, Eren.” Armin’s eyes said what the blond hadn’t. _He deserves to know._

Eren sighed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell him. Maybe he was just afraid of being judged for it. “It was one of my professors in college.” When Levi gave him that knowing look, the brunet waved him off. “Nothing like that. I wasn’t sucking his dick for a grade.” Eren shrugged in the way people did when they were trying to pretend something didn’t matter. “I really liked him.”

“That why you’re not in college?” Levi ventured, he’d always wondered. It wasn’t like it was because of money, not with both of his parents being in the medical field. Eren nodded solemnly. “What happened?”

Eren let out a little sigh, resting his hands in his lap, careful not to touch the pizza he was holding to the floor. “I thought things were going well, really well. I liked him a lot. Like…a lot a lot. And he seemed to like me, too. Well, one day, uh,” the brunet shifted awkwardly, refusing to meet Levi’s gaze.

The shorter man deadpanned in his direction, voice mirthless. “You were fucking in his classroom weren’t you?”

Eren let out a little awkward laugh, only finding it amusing that Levi figured it out so easily because of course he would. “Mm. Someone apparently saw us; me bent over the desk, a mess, the professor po—”

“I get it.”

“Sorry. But…yeah. When it came out…he just…” Dark fingers squeezed the crust in his hand, only to keep from trembling. “He said I fucking seduced him. Something along the lines of ‘I’m not some cum guzzling fag’ and ‘this is your fault, you fucking queer.’ Well…there were more…a lot more, but,” Eren shrugged again, “I’m sure you can imagine.”

Jean and Armin had remained silent, giving Levi the distinct impression that they were all too aware of what had happened.

“Eren I’m—”

The brunet abruptly stood up, tossing his pizza back into the box and wiping his hands on his jeans. He gave Levi a sad smile, one that far from reached his eyes. “I’m uh, I’m gonna go get the ice cream.”

“Eren.” It was Jean, his voice stopping the other brunet in the threshold to the kitchen. He paused, turning to look at his best friend before nodding and disappearing through the doorway.

The atmosphere grew heavy, the couple shifting and putting their half-eaten slices back into the box. Levi took it for what it was and followed suit, finding he was growing less and less hungry by the minute.

“What?”

“There’s more.” He was a little surprised to hear it coming from Jean, knowing that Armin was practically Eren’s brother. Clearly they shared a bond beyond both loving the blond.

No one spoke and it left Levi uncomfortable. Did they expect him to just guess?

“Go on.” Armin encouraged his boyfriend, who sighed heavily in response.

“Well…as if the professor turning into a grade A homophobic dickmonger wasn’t enough, we had a local frat house. It was the main one on campus, and filled with purely fuckboys. Gay-bashing, drug-rapey pieces of shits. They latched onto the professor’s words, twisting it as if Eren had forced him to fuck him. And Eren? Fuck…he was so broken already. I think…I think he loved that piece of shit.”

Jean scratched the back of his head, taking a breath before continuing. “One night the frat—like pretty much the entire house—well…they approached Eren. Being real friendly. Too friendly. Even Eren picked up on it, but there was a lot of them. Turned from lets hang out to we’re gonna tear your ass in two real quick. They forced him back to the frat house…and…”

Levi’s hand clenched into a fist, knuckles going white, face growing hot.

“We got there before that happened, Levi.” Armin spoke up, noting his visible anger.

“But not soon enough.” Jean’s voice was quiet, filled with regret.

“What happened?”

“Eren had been texting me,” Armin sighed, patting the back of Jean’s hand softly. “When they approached him, he called me. He couldn’t talk to me, but the call connected. There was a lot of commotion and I couldn’t really tell what was happening, but I recognized one of their voices. I had heard enough to guess where it was going and we knew where the frat house was.”

The blond snorted, jabbing a thumb toward Jean. “This shit bursts through the door with a baseball bat like some nighttime TV vigilante. Honestly I thought he was going to kill a few of them…and I would have let him…” Armin’s voice turned solemn as he finished.

“When we got there,” Jean’s voice wasn’t much more than a whisper, making the clanking of bowls in the kitchen seem unnaturally loud in contrast. “He was beaten, face busted up, bruised ribs, they had him pinned to the floor, ass up. The lead frat boy was…well…he was about to go in when we showed up. Can’t say I regret sending him to the hospital with a severe concussion.”

Levi swallowed hard, blanching as his stomach churned and feeling sick. His vision swam, anger threatening to black it all out.

“I got him out of there, most of them too fucking afraid of the crazy guy with the bat. By the looks of some of them, Eren had tried to fight back…but…”

“Numbers.”

“Mm. We took him to the hospital, despite his arguments.” Armin paused at the look of dismay on Levi’s face, a smile coming to his own. “No, not the one where his parents work. They cleaned him up, looked him over. They said…there was tearing…but no traces of DNA or condom lube. Eren would never say…but I know they did things to him. Some sick ‘preparation.’”

“He dropped out after that. No one could blame him. Grisha was pissed, but Eren refused to tell him what really happened.” Jean leaned back on his hands, regret full in his eyes, voice dropping low enough that he was certain Eren wouldn’t be able to hear him. “That was two years ago. He hasn’t been with anyone since.”

Levi’s brows furrowed, pushing harshly to his feet and heading toward the kitchen. He didn’t explain, and didn’t wait to see the approving smile on Armin’s face. He didn’t care, honestly. As soon as he crossed the threshold into the kitchen, he paused, sad green eyes flashing up to him and then immediately back to the task of scooping ice cream.

“Don’t—” Eren was afraid to look at him, afraid to see that same look of pity that he had seen too many times. That look that he hated.

“Eren,” Levi didn’t listen, instead pulling him toward him, pulling his face into his shoulder and wrapping his arms around the brunet’s broad ones. It was awkward, Eren being so much taller than him, but he didn’t care.

“You don’t have to—I’m fine—it’s just something that happened—”

Levi didn’t let go, instead squeezing him tighter.

“I—I’m going to get your shirt dirty,” Eren’s voice wavered, hands hesitating inches away from Levi’s back.

“Eren, shut up.”

Slowly, dark fingers twisted into the back of Levi’s shirt. Eren’s body curled against him, face buried against his chest and arms clinging to him for dear life. Neither said anything, the brunet’s body trembling in the other’s arms. Pale fingers carded through Eren’s pulled-back hair, the younger man silent but for interspersed sniffling.

Levi couldn’t be sure how long they had stayed like that, long enough for his shirt to stick to his skin with wet tears and for the ice cream in the bowl to have begun to melt. Still, he didn’t loosen his hold, not as long as Eren still trembled against him.

“It’s okay,” Levi cooed, his voice quiet and more caring than probably anyone thought possible from him.

The brunet paused, taking a deep, shaky breath that shuddered in his chest before puffing out into the wet cotton against his cheek. “Thank you, Levi.”

Smiling softly, he relinquished his hold once the younger male untwisted his fingers from his shirt. Eren let out another breath, finding himself calmed, he turned back to the ice cream. The half-melted serving disappeared into the sink, Levi rinsing it down the drain and wetting the end of a hand towel for the brunet.

“I got this, crusty.” He pushed the towel into dark fingers.

Eren couldn’t help but laugh, his cheeks tight and dry—he really did feel crusty. He wiped his face, feeling some sort of relief wash over him.

“Really, thanks.” He mumbled again, smile evident in his voice as he nudged Levi’s arm with his own.

“Don’t worry about it.” He didn’t look at Eren, eyes focused on scooping out the fourth bowl of ice cream, but there was a smile on his lips. “Now help me carry these, I’m sure Boss and his reverent steed are ready for some dessert.”

Eren snorted, grabbing two of the bowls and following Levi to the living room. “Let’s hope they haven’t found some other form of dessert.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, please comment.


	12. IMPRISONED BY FEAR, WITH NO ROOM FOR MY HEART

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> sorry this came out much shorter than i expected it to be

Levi wasn’t quite sure how long he had stayed at Armin’s house the previous night. Long enough to make the living and dining room look thoroughly gruesome and do their best to make it an amateur macabre’s wet dream. Well, maybe not wet dream. More like awkward half boner.

They did what they could with what resources they had.

Still, he had left satisfied with the turn out, and more than a little relieved that he wouldn’t have to help clean up. Eren and Jean had gotten the brilliant idea to make fake blood and splash it over the walls, ceiling, and floor. Armin hadn’t stood a chance in stopping them—not for lack of trying—and Levi was just glad he wouldn’t be the one scrubbing it off the walls and out of the carpet. He knew that task would be delegated to the two grumps who were responsible for the mess.

When he had finally made it back to his apartment it had been well into the early AM. Not that it really mattered, most of his nights found him still awake at that point anyway. Either way, Armin had text him saying not to worry about coming in for his shift.

Normally he’d have gone in anyway, but with the museum closing early for the holiday, he only had a three hour shift to begin with. It just meant he shut off his alarm with the potential to sleep in; a potential that wasn’t quite lived up to. He did, however, lie in bed for an additional almost hour before finally bothering to join the world of the living.

He was still stretching, fingers scratching over his bare stomach, when his phone dinged at him. He wasn’t all that surprised to find a few messages from Eren. There usually were, anymore. Nothing urgent, mostly him confirming that he’d pick him up for the party.

There had been no reason for Eren to give him a ride, really. Levi rarely drank, and never enough that he couldn’t drive, and his apartment was out of the way. But he had looked at him with those big eyes and smiled and the older man didn’t have a viable reason why he _couldn’t_ give him a lift to the party.

Levi took the ten seconds to give Eren a reply before going about his day. He didn’t much know what to do with himself; he never had been fond of the waiting period. He made himself breakfast, cleaned his house because he had to occupy a few hours with something, and then showered. He thought about gaming to pass the time, but he was pretty certain if he had, he’d still be playing when the younger man showed up.

However, instead, he was clean and dressed when the doorbell chimed. He pulled his jean jacket on as he moved toward the door. He had expected to see Eren on the other side, instead confronted with a sandy blond covered in blood, lacerations speckling his skin.

His world spun as he stared at the figure in front of him. Eren but not Eren, mind wavering as a mirror imaged blurred above him, leaving Levi unsteady with vertigo. He knew it couldn't be real. Wasn't real. Wasn't him.

But there he was.

His chest burned, heavy and suffocating, squeezing the breath from his lungs with spindly fingers that refused to let him breathe. Not that he could remember how even if he tried. Not with the way his blood curdled, creeping through his veins, a cold, wet tongue slipping up his spine.

He felt his stomach clench, his entire body heave and convulse as the organ thudded against his esophagus, a painful, strained retch pushing from his throat as he choked on the nothing that came up. There was nothing to vomit, but it didn't stop his body from trying. His mouth filled with saliva, dripping from his lips in heavy strings and pooling on the floor beneath him.

Gasping desperately for air, harsh intakes that left his throat as raw as the dry heaving, he backpedaled away from the bloody figure in his doorway.

It was then that Eren saw it. The fear. Levi’s eyes wide and red, strained with tears, either from the heaving or crying, he couldn't say. His body was shaking and his pupils blown.

"You’re—you can't be—you di—you’re dead—I saw you die!"

“Levi! Levi it’s me!” Eren’s voice was loud, trying to break through the panic the other was having. He knelt in front of him, pulling the wig from his head and tossing it to the side, his long hair falling from beneath it. “See? It’s me, it’s Eren.”

Levi’s eyes flickered back and forth, panic still pulling at his chest and begging his stomach to wrench. But the hands that squeezed his shoulders were warm and strong, and those bright eyes had locked onto his, trapping him. “Eren…”

The brunet smiled, nodding softly. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m—” His words cut off as slender fingers twisted into his shirt, Levi’s head thudding against his chest as his body trembled against him. Hesitantly, Eren wrapped his arms around him, fingers carding through his hair. “It’s just me…”

The next hour was a blur to Levi. He wasn’t sure how long he had stayed there, curled against Eren’s chest while the younger man cooed to him. The brunet hadn’t tried to move him or rush him, simply held him, rubbing slow circles over his back and talking softly to him until he stopped shaking and leveraged himself from his arms.

He would have been embarrassed, surely, if it hadn’t been for how overwhelmingly tired he was. He couldn’t fully think or focus still, but at least he could breathe. And Eren was there, smiling softly at him and gently leading him to the couch. He had said little, leaving a warm, wet rag for Levi to wipe his face with and a glass of water before he disappeared.

Levi didn’t ask where he was going, nor did he follow him. He didn’t much think of anything, instead trying to focus on just being. Pulling his feet onto the couch, he hugged his knees and waited, not caring about the now cold rag on his coffee table—though he had wiped the dried tears and saliva from his face—nor caring about the radio quietly playing in the background that gave him something to focus on.

“Hey.”

The voice was soft, calm, and pulled his attention to it without effort. Eren stood in the threshold of the back hallway, wearing a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt—both of which only covered three-fourths of the limbs they were meant to, considering just how much taller he was than Levi. But he was Eren again, and somehow that left the older man breathing a sigh of relief. The blood was gone, and his wet hair seemed to cling to his face and neck.

Levi smiled softly, face hidden in his arms around his knees. “Hey.”

He watched as Eren’s lips pulled into a soft smile and he moved to the radio, flipping the switch off before moving to the couch. The cushion dipped under his weight, big green eyes still on him. Dark fingers fidgeted, moving toward him before pulling back with uncertainty.

“You didn’t have to stay, you know. Now you’re just gonna look like an ass pirate, showing up late and with no costume.”

Eren smiled, leaning back on the couch. “I already told Armin we wouldn’t be going.” Levi furrowed his brows and pressed his lips together, watching him questioningly. “Just told him I wasn’t feel up to it and we were gonna watch movies instead.”

He hesitated a moment before nodding approvingly. “Thanks.” His voice wasn’t much more than a mutter, muffled behind his arms, and he was surprised when Eren laughed in response.

“It wasn’t a complete lie.” He smiled, walking toward the entryway to dig through a bag that Levi hadn’t noticed he’d brought along. He pulled out a dvd and wiggled it a little more excitably than it merited.

Quirking a brow, Levi took the case when it was offered to him. “Rocky Horror Picture Show?”

“Heh, well, it’s kind of a Halloween tradition.” The brunet didn’t turn to him as he spoke, putting the disc in the ps3 and changing the TV to the proper channel. “Mikasa, Armin, Jean, and me would watch it every year after Armin fell in love with it. Sometimes the others would join, but always the four of us.”

“Shouldn’t you be watching it with them?”

“But I want to watch it with you?”

He said it so matter-of-factly, so freely, that Levi couldn’t help but blush. It was so slight that he was certain his cheeks wouldn’t actually flush, but even so he was glad that Eren was focused on the task at hand.

“Still, won’t they be upset that they don’t get to watch it?”

Eren shook his head, settling back on the couch. “Nah, Jean bought Armin his own copy this year for his birthday. Just used to bringing mine with me.” He shrugged, feet resting on the edge of the table. “Besides, you’re one of us now.”

“One of us.” Both said simultaneously, more a habit than anything, resulting in a snort and laughter from both of them.

Levi could feel himself relaxing as the movie began to play, in no small part thanks to Eren’s efforts, and eventually crossed his legs on the couch and let himself lean back, shoulder touching the brunet’s. He hadn’t noticed it before, but he smelled like the older man, his soap and his shampoo, and just clean.

“You used my shampoo.” He watched as Eren’s hand lifted to the back of his head and he cringed awkwardly. “And those are my clothes.”

“Yeah, I, sorry I just thought—”

Levi watched, waiting for his explanation. There was no judging or scorn, he just wanted an answer. The make-up surely would have come off with regular hand soap and water.

“I thought that maybe if I smelled like you it’d be easier on you.” His words spilled out, jumbled together as he averted his eyes.

Steel-blue eyes widened with surprise, pleasant surprise. “That’s—” Thoughtful. Appreciated. Helpful. Slightly invasive. He cleared his throat, Eren turning toward him. “Are you wearing my underwear?”

Eren waved his hands, cheeks flushing again. “What no! I wouldn’t—!”

Levi couldn’t help but laugh, which seemed to serve as reassurance to Eren.

“So what were you supposed to be, anyway?”

“Bad end Noiz.”

Levi only nodded, pretending he didn’t know what that was. It wasn’t a total lie, mostly only knowing from Hanji and never delving into that particular one himself.

“You didn’t even dress up.”

Levi feigned offense, scoffing. “Excuse you, I was a hunter.” He ignored the way Eren was smirking at him, or the way that he had admitted that despite his groans he hadn’t hated the shows the brunet made him watch, and shrugged out of the jacket he hadn’t realized he was still wearing, draping it over the back of the couch.

They settled into comfortable almost silence, watching the movie and singing along with it—something Levi would later swear he was no part of—only pausing to order Chinese before returning to the movie.

Dinner had arrived just as the credits began to roll, Eren praising himself for his good timing. He paid before Levi could even get to his wallet. He nearly ran into the shorter man, who was coming out of the kitchen with utensils and bowls, the brunet shooting him a questioning look.

“What? Seriously fuck you guys just because I like being clean doesn’t mean I’m unreasonable.” Levi rolled his eyes, moving to sit on the couch, flipping through Netflix and stopping on Nightmare Before Christmas.

Eren settled comfortably beside him, separating the containers and dipping some beef broccoli into his bowl, not minding in the least when Levi did the same. He only took it as permission to steal some chicken stir-fry, careful not to slop the noodles onto the table.

“Maybe I should dress as Frankenfurter next Halloween?” Levi’s words were casual, if not baiting, as he broke open a crab rangoon.

Eren’s cheeks visible grew hot, blush spreading to his ears as his eyes widened just a bit and his mouth was suddenly too dry to work. The thought of Levi in a corset, stockings, and heels did that to a man.

Levi let out an ugly snort that pooled into laughter. “Oh my fuck you should see your face.”

“Fuck you that’s not even fair.” Half of Eren’s words were muffled as he shoved a bite of noodles into his mouth, eating away his embarrassment.

The rest of the night had been more or less uneventful. Mostly just enjoying each other’s company and Levi finding himself comfortable enough to laugh when Eren sassed him back. They were into their fourth movie for the night when the brunet finally passed out on the couch.

Levi could only smile as he looked over the brunet, silently thanking him for staying with him. He cleaned up as quietly as he could, stuffing the leftovers into the fridge and turning the volume on the TV down, but not off. He hesitated, fingers brushing through Eren’s long hair, which still smelled of his own shampoo, a softness slipping into his eyes.

Reluctantly, he found himself lying with his back pressed against Eren’s chest, the throw pulled over them both. It was warm, the mixture of heat wrapping around him and the scent that was mostly his own pulled him into relaxing comfort.

* * *

“Fuck—I’m sorry!” Eren’s panicked voice pulled Levi from sleep, eyes snapping open and alert, heart pounding in his chest and sight blurring from the sudden assault of daylight. “Levi, I didn’t mean—”

The raven-haired man only snorted, burying his face in the pillow and laughing at Eren’s reaction. He couldn’t really blame him, but that did nothing to lessen the amusement. 

“Relax, kid. _I_ laid with _you._ ” He could feel Eren still behind him, unsure how to react and likely questioning if he had actually heard him right. “I thought couples did that sort of thing.”

Eren said nothing, unmoving, and it left Levi on-edge. Tension flooded his body as regret filled him. He hadn’t thought about the possibility of the brunet no longer being interested in a romantic relationship with him, but now it was all he could think of.

What if he didn’t want him anymore? Maybe he was just being nice and Levi was a cluster-fuck for thinking it meant more than it did, for thinking that it was okay to think of Eren as more than just a friend.

And then he felt it. Air puffed through his hair as a nose pressed against his scalp, Eren nuzzling against him and washing away the tension without even trying.

“A couple, huh?” Eren’s voice was soft, hot breath pushing into his hair. Levi only hummed his assent, pulling Eren’s arm around his waist and linking their fingers.

Neither said anything, the brunet squeezing his fingers, Levi certain he could feel Eren smile as he nuzzled into his hair.

There, with Eren’s heart beating wildly against his back, warm arms wrapped around him, he felt something he hadn’t felt in longer than he cared to admit.

_Safe…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> i made an [art of the thing](http://jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle.tumblr.com/post/112564235193/look-at-whats-to-come-in-the-near-future-in-eom)
> 
> as always, please comment


	13. I COULDN'T WANT YOU MORE THAN I DID RIGHT THEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  holy crap i finally wrote it! look at me! surprisingly longer than expected.

Eren wasn’t sure how long they had lain there, snuggled on the couch, before he had begrudgingly trudged to the door. He had paused, the awkwardness between he and Levi almost palpable. Steel eyes avoided him, and somehow he had just known that maybe kissing was something else they’d have to work up to.

He had settled for cupping his cheek and gently pressing his lips to the other’s forehead. Levi had rewarded him with a soft, hidden smile and Eren had known he had made the right choice.

It had been a measly, chaste forehead kiss. But that hadn’t stopped Eren from thinking about it excessively since it had happened. Nor had it stopped him from grinning and fighting the urge to dance and squeal like a teenage girl.

“You’re awfully happy.” Jean started, sifting cinnamon-powdered sugar over a tray of fresh pastries. “Did something good happen?”

Eren couldn’t help the way his lips pulled back into a smile. Not just a regular smile; one of those uncontrollable fight-it-as-much-as-you-want-you-can’t-stop-it smiles. He slowly stirred a small metal cup of melted chocolate, not turning to meet Jean’s gaze.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Oh-ho! Did you give ser stank eye the Jaeger bombastic?” Jean grinned, nudging Eren almost painfully in the ribs.

Green eyes rolled, remaining focused on the task of drizzling the chocolate over cooled, flakey pastries. “Not everything is about sex, Jean.”

Jean paused in his dusting the powder off his hands, mouth just barely open and eyes narrowed in confusion. “Ri—ght…so no sex?”

Eren shook his head, ponytail brushing against the back of his neck. Dark fingers brushed ever so slightly against his lips, pulled into a small smile. “Better.”

The taller brunet quirked a sharp eyebrow at him, before finally smiling and shaking his head. He ruffled powder-covered fingers through chestnut locks as he passed Eren. “Well, good for you, sluterella.” He paused, still behind him. “Huh, guess I can’t call you that anymore.”

Eren only rolled his eyes again, moving the tray of pastries he had been working on to the side and grabbing a handful of flour from the bin. He sprinkled it on the wood countertop, spreading it with his palm over the smooth surface to make sure it was as non-stick as possible.

The sound of Jean setting the chilled metal bowl next to him seemed unnaturally loud in the empty bakery, the whir of the overhead fan and low-volume radio doing little to fill the quiet.

“So does this mean I’m best friends with a gerontophile?” Jean’s shit-eating grin was more than a little evident in his voice.

“Ah—Jean you fucking—” Eren didn’t hesitate, dark fingers flinging flour toward Jean and hitting him square in the face with a satisfying poof. “Fuck you he’s not that old!” Even so, his words had no bite, a grin on his face and laughter in his throat. Jean followed suit, doing his best to wipe the powder from his face as he devolved into a laughing mess.

After recovering, Jean joined Eren in rolling small handfuls of dough into balls, using the bottom of powdered glasses to press an aesthetically pleasing star-shape into the unbaked cookies. “So have you guys gone on a date yet?”

“Huh?” Eren replied dumbly, pausing with a ball of dough between his palms.

“Well he’s your boyfriend, now, isn’t he?”

Eren’s lips did that same inevitable smile again as he looked at nothing in particular. “Yeah…he is.”

It was an odd thing to hear. Boyfriend. Levi was his boyfriend. It still made his heart swell just for a beat and his stomach tighten and left him feeling like he could smile so long his face would hurt.

“Too soft.”

“Huh?” Eren pulled back to reality.

“The dough.” Jean held out a handful of unformed, chilled dough for Eren to take.

“O-oh.” He felt his cheeks heat just a little, the ball squishy and sticky in his palms before he tossed it back into the bowl and took the chilled dough. He couldn’t help being just a little embarrassed; he’d worked here long enough to know how baking cookies worked and knew it had only happened because he was daydreaming about his _boyfriend._

But to his surprise, and delight, Jean didn’t tease him for it.

“I don’t really know where to take him.” Eren nearly muttered, none-too-happy to admit it.

Jean hummed thoughtfully to himself, quiet settling over them as they continued the process of making the cookies.

“He likes reading right? I mean Armin told me about the book.” Jean glanced at Eren, who nodded in agreement. “Why don’t you take him to that big bookstore over in Sina?”

It was like a light bulb flickered on in Eren’s head, eyes widening just a little. Excitement filled him as he thought about Levi’s apartment, all clean and organized, but still managing to have books intermittently placed throughout. He was that way, quiet with his passions. 

“That’s it! Jean you’re a genius!”

Jean smiled smugly, arrogance sneaking into his voice. “Well of cou—”

“Can you take over?” Eren didn’t wait for an answer, quickly rushing to the sink, doing his best to scrub the butter and flour from his hands.

Jean only snorted and shook his head as the brunet pulled his phone from his pocket and excitedly started tapping the screen; because it apparently took all the concentration in the world to send a text message.

**[EREN 3:10PM] Hey, are you free tomorrow?**

Then he waited. And waited. He stared at his phone as if he could somehow will it to respond faster. He didn’t miss that Jean shook his head as he popped the tray of cookies into the oven before setting to work cleaning up the mess on the counter and washing the dishes with too-soapy water.

Eren’s phone dinged and he practically jumped for joy before even reading it.

**[SHORTY MCANGRY PANTS 3:17PM] yeah its my day off**

Eren grinned, dark fingers tapping against the screen quickly to respond.

**[EREN 3:17PM] uhm wanna go on a fste?**

**[EREN 3:17PM] dpte***

**[EREN 3:17PM] fucking date********

Eren curled into himself, none-too-gently letting his forehead fall heavily against the counter.

_Smooth fucking move ex-lax._

Slowly he pulled his phone into sight, screen bright hidden in the darkness of his body, forehead still pressed hard into the edge of the counter.

**[SHORTY MCANGRY PANTS 3:18PM] are you always so articulate**

Eren let out a groan, moving his fingers to the screen but pausing as is dinged a second time.

**[SHORTY MCANGRY PANTS 3:18PM] sounds great**

And suddenly Eren was all smiles again, the happiness seeping through his body a soft, warm feeling instead of the giddiness he’d been feeling most of the morning.

**[EREN 3:19PM] I’ll pick you up at 2**

After that, Jean sent him home. He was already over his shift by a couple hours and the other reassured him that he could handle the last few hours on his own, reminding him that his mother would be back soon anyway. He practically pushed Eren out the door, telling him to go home and rest for his ‘big date.’

And he did just that.

He wasn’t even sure when he’d fallen asleep, but when he opened his eyes it was daylight and Annie was leaning over him, intentionally chewing her cereal obnoxiously loud.

“Morning sleeping beauty.”

“Ugh what time is it?” He groaned as he rolled back over, burying his face into the corner of the couch with full intentions of getting another hour or five of sleep.

“Almost noon.” The couch bounced as she plopped down on it, legs pressing down on Eren’s.

His eyes snapped open. Noon. Noon was good, still time to get dressed and be there when he promised. Pushing his body up with his arms, he forced his legs out from underneath the blonde before hopping over her shorter ones.

“Thanks Annie!” He heard her hum around her food, some noncommittal form of acknowledging his words.

He didn’t think he took all that long, but by the time he had showered, eaten breakfast, and gotten dressed—and wandered aimlessly, nervously around his apartment—it was about time for him to leave. He took a breath as he looked at himself in the mirror. Dark skinny jeans—which he knew made his ass look great—and a burnt orange, long-sleeved shirt that would make his eyes seem even greener, and brighter, than usual. -

He wasn’t trying at all. Nope.

He ignored that his blue scarf probably clashed, hoping his normal black peacoat was enough to offset it. He doubted he’d be wearing the scarf much anyway. The only reason he bothered was because it had continued to drop in degrees; as he approached Levi’s apartment, he didn’t miss the small flakes falling from the sky.

It wasn’t more than a light flurry, just enough to dust the ground at best, but snow was snow.

He rapped his knuckles against Levi’s door at fifteen till. Eren only hoped that he wasn’t too early, but it was all he could do to not have shown up as soon as he woke.

“You’re early.” Levi said as he pulled the door open, a small smile on his lips as he turned away freezing Eren’s apology on his tongue. “How unusual; you must be so excited you could shit.” He moved from the doorway, letting the brunet into his apartment for the first time in a week.

“Well, yeah, of course I am!” Eren never could stop himself from being so blatant with his feelings, and somehow they usually left him either angry or embarrassed or both. “I mean not about the shit part. I’ll be sure to control my bowels.”

Levi only snorted, pulling on his shoes as he shook his head.

“I just mean—I get to go on an actual date with you. My boyfriend…” His voice dropped into a mutter toward the end, cheeks warming.

He felt more than saw Levi move toward him, slender fingers gently gripping the tip of his own and squeezing. He lifted his eyes to find a soft smile on the other’s face, a smile he wasn’t sure he had ever actually seen him make before. But it was one he hoped to see more of. A lot more.

“Ready to go?”

Eren nodded only to find himself regretting it when Levi pulled away to grab a scarf and wrap it around his neck. Somehow he made jeans and a black shirt with sleeves that were just a tad too long look dressy. Dress-casual, he amended, and was forever reminded just how damn well the shorter man wore casual.

The brunet clicked on the heat as soon as they slipped into his car; a car which he had made sure to thoroughly clean the previous night. Levi didn’t say anything, but by the way his eyes drifted over the car and his lips tightened with fighting a smile, he noticed. Eren couldn’t help but feel happy about it.

They hadn’t been on the road more than ten minutes, neither speaking, and simply letting the local rock station fill the void, when Eren broke the silence.

“Sorry, it’s kind of a far drive.” He thought it only fair to warn him.

“Oh no, stuck in the car with my boyfriend. What ever will I do?” Sarcasm dripped from his tongue, eyes drifting over to Eren.

He couldn’t help but smile, try as he might to fight it, at hearing him say that. Somehow, he thought Levi said it just because he liked to see the way Eren reacted to it. His smile as he turned back toward the window confirmed as much.

They didn’t speak much the rest of the trip. It was between rush hour, and they spent the vast majority of the remaining thirty minute drive in silence but for Levi’s occasional singing along with the radio. Somehow, Eren figured he was the type that sang embarrassingly loud in his apartment alone. And he couldn’t wait to witness it. Besides, he couldn’t deny he had a nice voice.

Soon enough, they arrived at Sina Plaza. It was fairly empty this time of day, which was exactly why Eren had picked it. It felt like it had gotten cooler, but he couldn’t be sure if that was because it had or simply a trick of the mind because of the overcast sky.

At least until he saw Levi trying to subtly tuck his hands under his arms, crossed over his chest and held close to his body.

“Sorry about the long walk.” Eren gave him a crooked smile, loose hair dancing as wind pushed into it.

“I’m sure I can manage the trip from the car t—oo—wherever we’re going.” Even so, he still pulled his scarf just a little tighter. “Where are we going anyway?”

“It’s a surprise?” Eren shrugged out of his jacket, knowing full well he’d always had a rather high resting body temperature. Mikasa used to call him her personal space heater; that just being close to him helped her calm down. It had embarrassed him at the time, but he was a kid. And stupid.

Warmth still clinging to his coat, he draped it over Levi’s shoulders as if it was the most casual, natural thing in the world. The shorter man, however, paused in his tracks, eyes looking at the coat and then up to Eren.

“This…isn’t necessary.”

Eren only smiled, a soft smile that was more in his eyes than on his lips. “Its fine, I’m not cold.”

Levi stared at him for a long moment, and Eren thought he was going to shove the jacket back at him. Instead, he forced his hands into the sleeves, his fingertips hilariously barely peeking out of the ends. He shoved his hands into his pockets, lips pressed petulantly together.

“Thanks.” He muttered before turning away and walking ahead, but not before Eren noticed the slight pink on his cheeks that he was certain wasn’t from the cold.

_Cute..._

Eventually, Eren stopped in front of a large building that sat behind the central fountain—which was of course off for the winter. Levi did not, and the brunet had to call out to him.

“I hope it’s okay?” Eren shrugged, nodding toward the large bookstore.

Stohess Bookstore, letters normally bright and illuminated, were currently just plastic words as a couple men with impressively tall ladders tacked up strands of lights for the upcoming lighting.

“The bookstore?” Levi questioned, Eren nodding in response. He didn’t say anything else, but there was a certain glint in his eyes, or the way he just barely lifted onto his toes, that let the brunet know he’d done good.

“Well?” Eren gestured toward the bookstore again and Levi only nodded, following him up the steps.

Eren eased his way to be just a step behind Levi. He wanted to watch. Not in a creepy way, either, he told himself. He just wanted to be able to see the way those steely eyes lit up as they wandered over the rows and rows of bookshelves, or the way his lips moved when he silently read the titles of books.

Stohess was one of those bookstores that made its customers wonder just how many books really existed in the world, how they had managed to fill five floors with them. And yet, it managed to remain warm and homey. The lighting was dim, but not so much that it would cause a strain when reading. Considering each floor had an area dedicated to letting customers do just that, there wasn’t any other choice in the matter.

The shelves were all different, and yet matched. They were different heights and thicknesses, different woods and stains even. But each one seemed to compliment the other. Books that were no longer readable, due to neglect, were used for stands or to hold up shelves.

Then there was the ever-present smell of coffee from the café on the third floor. And yet, it wasn’t strong enough to overpower the scent of pulp and ink and parchment. It was a book lover’s wet dream.

Case and point, he was pretty sure he hadn’t seen Levi so excited in…ever. He was trying to hide it, but Eren had been watching him long enough in the past few months to know. Years with Mikasa helped, too.

Levi’s brows unfurrowed, lifting as his eyes widened just a little—as if they had to just to take everything in. The corners of his lips lifted, white teeth peeking out below them, occasionally chewing on the flat of his lip piercing. It wasn’t hard for Eren to figure that he was doing it not as a nervous habit, but to keep himself from smiling like a fool because his boyfriend took him on a bookstore date.

Eventually, Levi shrugged out of the coat and the brunet was quick to take it away.

“Why did you bring us here if you weren’t into it?” He asked bluntly, blue eyes looking up almost accusingly.

Eren only blinked, finally shaking his head softly and smiling. “I wanted you to enjoy yourself.”

“Uh-huh. Innocent bookstore date?”

“Don’t worry, I promise not to eat you.” Eren’s grin spread as he leaned closer. “Unless you want me to.”

Levi let out an ugly snort, shoving Eren’s shoulder and shaking his head. “Dumbass.” Grabbing another book from the shelf, totaling to five, he turned back toward him. “So you just wanted to take me shopping for books? Short date.”

Eren shrugged, pushing his hands into his pockets. “The reading area on the fifth floor is usually empty.”

“If you just brought me here to make out—” Levi stared at him suspiciously as he huffed and headed toward the escalators, the shorter man following after. Eren didn’t say anything until they arrived at the top floor.

“No ulterior motives, geez.” He dropped his voice to a mutter, averting his eyes. “Haven’t I proven myself yet?”

Guilt tainted Levi’s eyes, shoulders dropping as he let out a soft breath and moved closer to him. Once again, he gently squeezed Eren’s fingertips. “You have; I’m sorry.”

When Eren smiled softly down at him, Levi released his fingers and moved toward the reading area in the back. He was…surprised. It looked like it was cleaned regularly, as was the rest of the store, but with little foot-traffic it retained that clean feeling. Piled over a thick rug were huge, plush pillows that looked like that they had been fluffed just for them.

With little rearranging, he settled into a pile of pillows that butted against the corner of the room. As he opened one of his books, the others set carefully to the side, Eren settled next to him and opened his own book.

Levi wasn’t sure when he’d picked one up, but he didn’t question it. Instead, they settled into comfortable silence, just the sounds of their breathing, pages turning, bad background music, and the occasional small laughter from one or the other. Eren continued to sneak peeks at Levi, reveling in the way he just seemed…comfortable.

They remained this way for about half an hour—or at least he assumed it was about that long, he had only heard around ten songs, after all—when Eren began to get restless. Enough so that it drew Levi’s attention.

“Want to go?” Somehow, Eren knew he didn’t want to even if he would for him.

“Nah,” He shook his head, longer hair shifting over his shoulders. “I just need to move my legs a bit. I’ll be back.” Levi looked up at him uncertainly, and somehow he found it unbearably endearing. “I’m just gonna get some drinks.”

“Okay.” Levi nodded, watching only for a moment longer before returning to his book.

Eren couldn’t help the way he smiled, a big ass cheesy grin, as he walked away. It didn’t matter that he was getting looks from the few people he passed, some good, some bad, regardless of gender. He couldn’t help but not care, and care at the same time. A sort of ‘look all you want, I’m not available.’

In all actuality, it was more like ‘are you fucking kidding have you seen my boyfriend why would I even look at someone else?’ Of course thoughts like these usually gave him pause and made him shake his head with realization of just how bad he had it.

“What can I get you?” The young woman behind the counter pulled him to attention, a likely forced smile on her face as she waited for his order.

“Uh, yeah, can I get a French vanilla cappuccino, a hot chocolate, a—nd,” his eyes wandered over the class window showing their different pastries, “Two cinnamon bagels?”

“What size on the drinks?”

“Large, please.”

She smiled again, just a little tenser as if bracing herself. “Venti or grande?”

Eren paused for a moment, looking from her to the sign with the ounces. “Grande, sorry.”

She smiled, relieved that he didn’t make a fuss, and input his order. He paid her, stuffing the change into the tips jar and stepping to the side to wait for his order. Soon enough, she brought him a paper bag—which he aptly stuffed extra napkins into—and two cups.

“You need a tray?”

He shook his head, gripping the edge of the bag between his fingers and his coffee. “Nah, I got it. Thanks.” He smiled, nodding before heading back to the fifth floor.

He wasn’t surprised to find Levi exactly how he’d left him. He couldn’t honestly say if he had moved more than what was required to turn the page. However, he lowered his book and looked up to greet his return.

“Cinnamon bagel?” He gestured with the bag before holding it out to Levi, who took it, carefully setting his book to the side.

“Thanks.”

“You like cinnamon right?”

Levi paused, a chunk of bagel halfway to his lips and quirked an eyebrow at him with disbelief. “Who the fuck doesn’t like cinnamon?”

Eren only snorted, watching as he happily ate the bagel. He followed suit, both making quick work of the sweet bread and alternating between blowing on and sipping their too-hot drinks. Once they finished, Levi griped something about no wet wipes and sticky fingers and books, disappearing to the bathroom to wash his hands.

Yet, he didn’t seem all that unhappy, and Eren found himself fretting less and less as he wandered off to find a trashcan for the paper bag. When he returned, Levi was already settled back in, book in hand and legs stretched out in front of him.

Eren settled beside him, sitting with his legs crossed and elbows on his knees. He tried to focus on his books, he really did, but instead found himself yawning. Yawning. Yawning. And then he felt something heavy against the side of his head and his center of gravity shifted.

He blinked, taking a moment to adjust and realizing Levi had pulled him into his lap. He turned to look at him, blue eyes peeking out from under his book only for a moment before returning to it and leaving Eren smiling. He shifted, stretching out his legs and digging his phone out of his pocket.

It was…nice. Relaxing against his lap, scrolling through his blog and checking out whatever new commissions Jean had posted on his own. More relaxing when slender fingers found their way into his long hair, carding through it and gently brushing against his scalp. There was a warmth from his body, from his touch, and yet his fingers remained cool against his skin and it left Eren in some sort of perfect balance that lulled him closer and closer to sleep.

He wasn’t even sure how long they had stayed like that, Eren relaxing against Levi, who seemed just as relaxed by the gesture. Long enough for his battery to be closer to empty than full. Long enough that eventually his thumb didn’t bother swiping across the screen anymore, hand suddenly as heavy as his eyelids.

Then he felt soft lips gently press to his temple. He was surprised, to say the least, but more than that it left him warm. Happy. He turned tiredly to Levi, seeing him smile that same soft smile he had earlier, fingers brushing through his hair one last time.

“Ready to go?”

Eren nodded slowly, pushing himself from Levi’s lap and to his feet. He watched as the other gathered his books, unable to stop himself from stretching, barely stifling a groan.

“Gonna buy those?”

Levi nodded, holding his stack of books in front of him as Eren picked up their mostly empty cups. “Yeah, no way I could have finished them all today.”

Eren nodded in agreement, mind still a little hazy from his not-nap.

The line was short and soon enough they found themselves walking back to the car—Levi grumbling when Eren insisted that he wear his coat. He immediately clicked on the heat, happy his car heated up relatively quickly. Perks to having a mechanic as one of your best friends, he supposed.

Once again they fell into silence. Eren was pretty sure he hadn’t been that quiet at any point in his life. Ever. Still, there was something incredibly comfortable about it. Just being…together. Not forcing awkward car talk.

They had stopped for burgers and fries on the way back to Levi’s apartment, opting to take it in with them since it was only a couple minutes away.

“Sorry I couldn’t get you anything nicer to eat…” Eren mumbled, shoving two ketchup-dipped fries into his mouth.

Levi didn’t speak immediately, only quirking an eyebrow with a mouthful of plain cheeseburger, which he had aptly stuffed with fries. “Seriously kid? I wouldn’t eat this shit every day cause I’d live in my bathroom, but what do you think I’m some hoity toity gotta eat filet mignon every day asshole or something?”

Eren only laughed, shaking his head and eating another two fries. “Yeah, that doesn’t really sound like you. Figured it wasn’t…clean enough.”

Levi huffed, rolling his eyes. “Fuck you. It’s greasy. And it’s shit. But it’s still nice occasionally.” He wiped his hands, taking a noisy drink from his drink, the straw apparently having a hole in it. “Now getting me to eat in one of those places, totally different story.”

Eren couldn’t stifle a snort, crinkling the wrapper of his cheeseburger and holding out the bag for Levi to add his trash to. “Okay, okay, I concede.”

Levi took the bag, trashing it and running his hands under the faucet before drying them. Greasy, he said.

“Gotta work tomorrow morning?” The older man asked reluctantly.

“Yeah,” Eren nodded, eyes flicking to the clock on the microwave. Eight already. “I should probably go.” He didn’t want to, but was fairly certain if he stayed any longer he wouldn’t make himself leave at all.

“Mm.” Levi only hummed his agreement, leading him to the door.

And there was the awkwardness again. Still, Eren had no intentions of doing something Levi didn’t want to, no matter how much he himself desired it.

Eren opened his mouth to say some awkward farewell, teeth clacking shut when Levi spoke up instead.

“You did good.”

“Wha—”

And then there were fingers tight in his shirt front, pulling him forward and soft lips pressing against his own. It was the softest ghost of a kiss, there and gone before Eren had time to register what had happened.

“I had a really good time today.” Levi smiled softly, too close for Eren to see much more than a blur of his face, and pressed their lips together in another, equally small kiss.

A kiss that Eren was fully aware of this time, leaving him with warm cheeks and fingers brushing against his own lips long after he had stuttered out a goodbye and walked to his car. A kiss that left him smiling the entire drive back to his house, fingers gripping tight to his steering wheel and unsubtle sounds of excitement dancing on his lips, glad that no one could actually hear him.

Levi had kissed him.

He had kissed him and things were good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant even begin to apologize for this taking so long. I've been dealing with my heaviest level of depression for like two months (when it normally only lasts a couple days) among with a lot of panic over running out of money and not having a job. The depression finally let up a bit but...everything is still there and im sorry. hopefully it wont be this long next time. and hopefully this wasn't too bad since im rusty.
> 
> and really thank you so so much for sticking with me this long. 
> 
> oh also! Before i can write the next couple of chapters, i need to decide on a good place a family would go on vaca. somewhere with not english for their language, and i dont want to go cliche with france. preferably somewhere that "welcome back" sounds lovely. so any ideas would be really greatly welcomed.
> 
> as always, comments sustain me.


	14. I'D WALK TO YOU IF I HAD NO OTHER WAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its apparently ereri week and i managed to update this go me  
> 

It had been just over a month since Eren had taken Levi on their first real date, nearly half of which had spent mostly occupied planning the vacation that he and Mikasa had decided had to happen this year. He couldn’t say he hated planning it; hell, it had been kind of fun.

More so when they finally told Carla what they had planned. They had known since ever that she wanted to visit Turkey, and as they year progressed, the siblings had known it had to be now. Had to be.

Thanks to Mikasa, Grisha had agreed and taken time off. When they sprung it on his mom, well Eren didn’t think he’d ever seen her hazel eyes quite so bright or smile quite so wide.

However, when they arrived at the airport and Eren realized that he had wasted the last two weeks of the year he had with Levi, he couldn’t help but feel dismayed. It’s not like he had _intended_ to waste it. He hadn’t even realized he had been doing it if he was being honest with himself. The older man had even helped him set it up, pulling out his laptop when the brunet had mentioned what they were trying to do.

Helpful or not, though, Eren couldn’t help but feel guilty for using his free time like that. And now he was going to be on the other side of the world for two weeks and just the idea of not being able to see him for so long left him with a gnawing sadness.

“So when will you be back?” Levi’s voice was quiet, and though he tried to keep his face even Eren thought he was just hiding the fact that he felt the same.

“January third.” Eren gave him a crooked smile, eyes softening as he turned to him. Their fingers gravitated to each other, tips brushing and slipping between the other’s.

“Two weeks…” He mumbled, steel eyes not looking up at Eren.

“Mm.” Eren hummed, stepping closer to him and pressing his lips to the corner of his eye, nuzzling against his cheek. He could feel his cooler skin press into the gesture, but also fingers tensing in his own.

“People are looking.” Levi pulled back, not quite letting go of his hand.

Eren had to fight the urge to say ‘so let them look.’ He didn’t give a fuck, but he knew that Levi wasn’t exactly into public displays of affection. Well more like he had an uncontrolled knee-jerk response to it, usually in the form of a disgusted noise. It tended to leave the brunet laughing, and somehow he thought that only encouraged him.

Even so, for the moment he wished it wasn’t a problem.  Though as he followed Levi’s line of sight, he thought maybe right now the problem wasn’t as much that people were looking, but _who_ was looking.

As he turned, his green eyes landed on his father. Grisha, with his graying hair pulled into a low ponytail and round glasses on his nose, was doing no less than giving Levi the stank eye. Eren didn’t really think his boyfriend was seeking the approval of anyone, let alone his father, but he could only assume it left a sour feeling in his stomach to see that.

In reality, Eren knew it had nothing to do with Levi. Hell, Grisha would probably like him since he wasn’t sticking it to his son. What it came down to was even if his father had accepted it, he had never really _approved_ of his son’s sexuality. Mikasa hadn’t had a single fuck to give about who he wanted to bang, and his mother? Well, she had been beyond supportive, going so far as sending him pictures of cute boys she thought he’d like.

He’d never tell her, but she had actually been responsible for getting him his first blowjob when she gave his number to a cute barista.

“Come with me.” The order pulled him out of his thoughts, fingers tight around his as Levi tugged him around a nearby corner and into a small, dark alcove with a few metal benches along the wall.

It was secluded, mostly, and since there was negative eighty bars here it was empty.

“Levi what is—” His words were silenced as lips pressed against his, fingers squeezing into his sides. When it ended, Levi looked away and Eren couldn’t be fully sure but he thought he saw him blushing. He couldn’t help but smile softly, finding it endearing.

For all his pretenses for being stoic and not caring, which were mostly true, he still seemed embarrassed by his own affections. Or maybe he was thinking too much on it, he thought, after all he hadn’t reacted when Hanji and practically eaten his face in front of them all.

He didn’t have much time to think on it before lips were on his again. It was warm and soft and somehow breathtaking, slender fingers pressing into his back and pulling him close. Soft lips pulled from his own, dragging to press kisses against his cheek, his eyelid, his temple, his jaw. Levi’s breath was warm on his neck, nose pressed into the crook of his jaw and Eren thought he felt his hands tightening into the back of his coat.

“I’ll miss you, too, Levi.” The shorter man didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. He simply stayed in Eren’s arms, warm and pliable and returning everything the brunet gave him, until eventually he pressed a ghost of a kiss to his neck and pulled back.

Levi let out a sigh that Eren saw more than heard, the breath barely passing through the seam of his lips. “You have to go.”

“I’ve got a—” He was cut off by his phone telling him he had a text. It was from Mikasa, telling him to get his ass back there so they could head over to the loading dock. He pressed his lips together in defeat, not missing the small smile that tugged at Levi’s lips. I told you so, they said.

“I guess I do.” His green eyes flitted back and forth between Levi’s, not wanting to go—even if he was excited for the trip.

He wished the other man could have come; he’d actually suggested it but his boyfriend had vehemently rejected the idea, saying that it was a family vacation and they should enjoy it as a family. He was pretty sure the only reason Levi even was here now was because he had offered to drive Eren’s car back to his apartment instead of having to leave it parked at the airport.

“Here.” Eren reluctantly released Levi’s fingers, moving his own to unwrap his blue scarf from around his neck. His eyes smiled as he draped it around the other’s neck, tugging gently before letting his hands fall to his sides.

“Wait, what are you? You can’t leave this here. You’ll get cold, dumbass. You’re gonna need it.”

“I’ll be fine,” Eren laughed out, “I’m always warm, anyway.”

Levi pressed his lips together, teeth working on the back of his lip piercing. “Then…you take mine.” Careful not to pull the blue scarf with it, he tugged on end of his black and white plaid scarf until it slid free of his neck.

Eren’s eyes widened, just a fraction, before narrowing and crinkling as he smiled. Dark fingers took the accessory, holding it close to his chest. “I’ll text you when I can, okay?”

Levi gave him another quick kiss. “Be safe, have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Okay, dad.”

There was a moment of silence, broken by a disgusted noise and nose crinkle from Levi. He didn’t have to say it for Eren to know he was thinking ‘gross.’ The brunet let out a snort, both breaking into a moment of laughter before he leaned in a stole another quick kiss.

“I’ll be back soon.”

Then he was walking away. He had to, he knew if he didn’t now he wouldn’t leave unless Mikasa came and dragged his ass away. Considering he hadn’t walked more than a couple minutes before he found her coming toward him, she was already on her way to do just that.

“If we miss our flight—” She hollowly threatened.

“Sorry, sorry. We’ll make it.” Eren smiled softly, eyes on the scarf before he carefully wrapped it around his neck. It still smelled like Levi, and he could only hope the scent would linger until he returned.

“That shorty’s?” Mikasa asked, Eren only nodding in response. She rolled her eyes, but still smiled. She was happy for him. “Come on.”

The next few hours weren’t much more than a blur. Going through security and loading up onto the plane, squeezing into the seat between Mikasa and his mom—who they gave the window seat to. It was a long flight, and it was only a matter of time before he fell asleep on his sister’s shoulder, headphones in his ears and nose in his scarf. She had eventually done the same, resting her head against his.

Eventually, Carla had woken them both, telling them that it was time to unload. They weren’t in Turkey, of course. They had a layover in Japan—courtesy Eren’s planning. The fact that it was the longest flight meant little to him, because he had always wanted to go to Japan and he wasn’t going to miss this chance.

He wasn’t sure how worth it it was, considering that the three of them had aptly forbade him from leaving the airport. Even so, he was happy. He didn’t understand a word of the place, but he was still excited.

It didn’t take long before he pulled out his phone, pressing the little ghost icon. It only took a moment to load up before he was looking at himself. With no shame, he took a quick selfie—after stuffing a pocky stick or three between his lips and holding up the victory peace sign. Tapping his fingers across the screen he typed out ‘we’re in japan!!!’ before selecting Levi’s name.

He smiled apologetically to the cashier, paying for the box of pocky. He was certain he was just being some rude ass tourist, but he was excited and didn’t have a lot of time to enjoy it. As he walked away, nibbling on his pocky and careful not to crush the box of tea he’d grabbed from the same shop, a yellow light blinked on his phone and his screen awakened.

He swiped it, smiling at the quick reply from Levi.

**[CaptainAce] kiss kiss youre a weeb**

Eren snorted, finger pressed to the screen as the box in the corner counted down the seconds before it disappeared. He enjoyed it while he could, looking at his boyfriend with his crooked puckered lips and crinkled nose.

Eren held up his phone again, making a smug face and pressing his finger to his cheek.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] says the one quoting sakura kiss**

It was only a matter of seconds before he got a reply, Levi winking with an arrogant smirk and his fingers pointing making a gun toward the screen—Eren could practically hear him clicking his tongue against his teeth.

**[CaptainAce] says the one who knows the ouran theme title**

Eren was going to argue but his breath stopped in his throat as he realized he couldn’t. Because Levi was right. Pressing his lips together in a petulant pout, he took another picture, defeated.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] touché**

“Eren! Come on, we’ve gotta get going!” It was Mikasa, hailing him from across the airport and drawing the gaze of everyone within a hundred mile radius.

“Jesus Mikasa…” He muttered, snapping a shot of her and lifting his arm at her so she knew he had heard him.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] guess it’s time to go**

Then he took another quick shot of himself, soft smile on his face, eyes narrowing and crinkling softly.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] talk to you soon <3**

The subsequent plane ride was really no different than the first. They piled into the seats, the same as before only he had switched seats with Mikasa. This ride seemed quieter, somehow. Less children screaming, maybe; maybe they were just more interested in the vivid animation on the move screens.

It didn’t matter much as Eren spent more time than he’d like to admit staring at a picture of him kissing Levi’s cheek. He wasn’t even looking at the camera, but it didn’t matter. He had a picture of them, and it made them happy.

“You’ve been staring at that picture for an hour, creepo.” Mikasa muttered, a smirk in her voice.

“It’s the only one he’d let me take.” It wasn’t a lie, but he has happy about it regardless.

Eventually, they landed. Eren grabbed his mother’s carry-on, working his jaw to pop his ears and following his father off the plane. It didn’t take as long as he expected, getting their bags and finding a cab. Eren didn’t say much, eyes watching in awe as they drove through the city to their hotel. When they arrived, his mother smiled and paid the driver, saying something in Turkish.

He grinned, and nodded, replying in accented English. “Welcome to Istanbul.”

They didn’t have a lot of time to relax, getting their bags in place and claiming their beds. His parents had a room of their own, Mikasa too. He hadn’t expected to find something like this, almost a small apartment. But they had. Eren had already volunteered to take the pull-out couch. He was more than happy with that, knowing it meant not having to share with his sister.

Plopping down on the couch, legs over Mikasa’s, he tapped out a text to Levi. He was grateful for good reception, but didn’t know how long it’d take for it to get there.

**[EREN 2:13PM] made it to our hotel!**

**[SHORTY MCANGRY PANTS 2:20PM] glad to hear it would be a shame if you died now**

**[EREN 2:21PM] what time is it there?**

**[SHORTY MCANGRY PANTS 2:26PM] almost 630 am**

**[EREN 2:28PM] shit sorry. timezones suck ass.**

**[EREN 2:28PM] Hey sorry, we’re heading out. Miss you.**

The first day they hadn’t really had much of a set plan. Since they seemed to all feel like exploring, despite the plane rides, they took a trip to the Spice Bazaar. Eren hadn’t known what he had expected, but it wasn’t that. The closest he’d seen to a bazaar was the flea markets they set up on Saturday morning back home.

This was nothing like that.

He barely had time to absorb anything, smelling more than seeing the attractions. Every time he found one scent that pulled him toward it, another assaulted his nostrils and beckoned him in its direction. He wasn’t the only one affected, it seemed. Carla was practically skipping from shop to shop, Mikasa in tow. Smelling and tasting and _laughing._

How long had it been since he’d seen his mother smile like that? He couldn’t say, but her eyes lit up and despite her paling skin and sharpening cheek bones, she had a glow to her. Even Grisha took notice, smiling and happily humoring her every time she made him smell something.

“Eren!” Carla shouted to him, beckoning him over to the rest of them. He gladly followed, peeking over her shoulder to see what they were looking at.

Tea. She was looking at…tea? Eren crinkled his brows in confusion; his mother rarely drank tea.

“Hmm…this one…and this one too!” She grabbed some Jasmine Tea and Orange Tea, putting the spices into separate bags and pushing them against Eren’s chest. “A gift since Levi didn’t get to come!”

Eren blushed, taking the bag. “No, mom, I can’t—”

“You said Levi likes tea right?”

Eren nodded, blush deepening. It was true, he had been looking for some spices for tea. Something Levi would like, and more than just the souvenir box from their layover.

“For your girlfriend?” The vendor by this particular set of spices asked, smiling knowingly even if they seemed to not be the greatest at english.

Eren only blushed more, scratching his fingers through the back of his long hair. “Ah, no—” He paused, searching for the word. “Erkek arkadaş.”

“Ah! Good, good!” She smiled, grabbing what looked like a dehydrated mandarin orange and popping it into the bag and saying something in Turkish too fast for him to catch.

“It’s to put in the tea when you drink it, she said it’s on the house.” Carla smiled, thanking the woman.

“Heh, teşekkür ederim.” Eren nodded, paying the woman for the teas before they moved on.

They had spent the next week pretty busy. Waking up early and going out for the vast majority of the day. They had stopped at Istiklal, taking the trip as leisurely as they could down the pedestrian streets, stopping in frequently in the shops and restaurants that inhabited it. Most of the time they more wanted to _see_ than shop, but they had made sure to purchase something in every place.

They had stopped at more restaurants than Eren could count, trying breads and sweets and meat wraps and everything else they could. He passed on Turkish Delight, but was more than a little interested in the Baklava. It was sweet and flaky and earthy and he couldn’t deny he had loved it.

He was a little disappointed that he couldn’t take some back to Levi, but then again, he knew that the shorter man wasn’t that into sweets anyway.

They had made sure to check out Topkapi Palace, more for their mother than anyone. The history was nice, but this was for her. Her heritage. She had lived here when she was young, very young; he wondered how much she remembered of it.

As the week wound down, they crossed the Bosphorus into the Asian side of Istanbul. The ferry ride alone seemed like something special, Carla leaning over the railing and grinning so big Eren wondered if it hurt, her hair dancing in the wind and her eyes crinkling happily when Grisha kissed her cheek.

Once they arrived on the other side, they spent most of it traveling the mosques. Eren took a lot of pictures, some sending them to Levi and some just to show him when he got back. But it was beautiful and…it was happy.

Honestly, he couldn’t remember the last time his family was together like this, happy and smiling and just…relaxed.

Not since he came out, he thought. His dad had never much been there for him, but he thought that seemed to be a real breaking point for their relationship. Either way, this was nice, and his mother was happy.

Eventually, they headed back to the hotel to wind down. They were all beyond exhausted, deciding showers and bed were in order. He wasn't sure when was the last time he went to sleep before midnight, at least night without the help of sleep deprivation.

He hadn’t wasted any time pulling out the bed and plopping down onto it once he had the chance. He had a lamp on in the living room, the others shut up in their rooms and presumably already asleep since he had been the last to shower.

Still, he laid on his back, holding up his phone to snap a shitty-lighting picture of himself.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] I really miss you**

He laid there for what seemed like forever, waiting for a response. In reality it wasn’t more than ten minutes, but still. It felt like forever, laying in the dark, alone, and wishing he wasn’t.

**[CaptainAce] i was in the shower**

Levi’s brows were furrowed as he deadpanned at the camera, hair partially slicked back and wet, bare shoulders and chest covered with a light sheen from the water. Eren’s brows shot up, eyes open and alert as he quickly fumbled to screenshot it. Because he was totally a mature, respectful adult.

Eren made a face that was as mock-apologetic as it gets, a slight ‘my bad’ smile on his lips.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] sorry :/**

Then he snorted at himself, lifting his chin just a bit and smirking down into the camera and winking.

**[Jaeger.Bombastic] were you thinking of me in there?**

He could practically feel Levi’s eye-roll as he opened the snapchat, snickering to himself at the thought. However, he wasn’t prepared for the response he got.

**[CaptainAce] sorry no tent**

Eren dropped the phone on his face, hissing out a ‘fuck’ before quickly reopening the snapchat, staring at the shot that consisted of Levi’s lower torso and towel. He licked his lips, cheeks heating up as he looked over the toned abs and what was a truly impressive v, not missing the hair peeking above the towel or the small barbell piercing on his hip. He was so enamored that he almost missed his chance to screen shot it.

Almost.

**[CaptainAce] did i kill you ooor**

It was a simple smile, crooked and enough for his canines to peek out. Yeah, Levi definitely liked fucking with him. Still, Eren hadn’t realized that he had been staring at the picture long enough for his boyfriend to notice.

Eren responded by just sending a picture of him slightly wide-eyed, lips pressed together and cheeks flushed even in the darkness. It was all he could do, really, knowing it’d make Levi happy and probably make him laugh.

**[CaptainAce] gotta work**

The attached video was simple, just a soft smile and little wave of his fingers. But it set the butterflies in Eren’s stomach aflutter and made him ache for home even more.

Letting out a little sigh, Eren sank down into his bed. He curled under the covers, pulling the plaid scarf to him. He felt like a teenage girl, but he couldn’t help sleeping with it. It still smelled of Levi, just a little. Normally it’d relax him, help him sleep and feel a little less homesick.

But not this time. Oh no—tonight it only served to wake him up. At least parts of him.

Laying there, being able to smell his boyfriend and unable to get the images of him wet and dripping out of his head…well Levi may not have been making a tent but Eren sure was.

He couldn’t help it, not really. Against his better judgment, he opened up his screen shots, flipping through to the two he had taken from Levi’s snapchat. Fuck, just seeing him seemed to send a jolt to his groin. Flushed cheeks and dripping hair and slightly reddened lips.

It was all he could do not to let out a frustrated growl, looking at his hips, imagining what it’d taste like to run his tongue over those carved muscles, the way the metal of that piercing would feel against his tongue or the way that Levi would shiver under the ministrations of his admittedly talented mouth.

His mind drifted back to Levi’s lips and he found his hand slipping under the cover and palming himself through his boxers. His breath was coming shorter now, green eyes focused on that picture. Those piercing blue eyes looking up at him, red lips shiny and wet.

He buried his nose into the scarf, panting as his eyes stayed latched to the screen. Hands slipping under the band of his boxers, he wrapped his fingers around his dripping cock, stroking is slowly. He could imagine what it’d feel like to have those perfect lips wrapped around the head of his dick, watching as Levi takes him into the back of his throat, the small moans he’d make as dark lashes flutter down over those steel eyes.

“F-fuck—” He hissed out, squeezing tighter and pumping faster, thumb pressing tentatively over the slit at the top, massaging precum out and onto his cock, pulsing in his hand. His own eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled deeply, imagining Levi’s fingers digging into his hip, sucking him hard and deep and refusing to let up until Eren filled his throat.

“A—h, Levi~” He moaned out, harsh and broken and muffled into the scarf as he came in his hand, hips bucking and toes curling.

It took a moment before he could breathe again, eyes opening slowly to the now black screen. His hand was hot and wet and his boxers ruined, pulse pounding in his ears and lower regions throbbing as blood flow returned to normal. Letting out a shaky, spent breath, he made the quick trip to the bathroom to clean up before crashing back into bed, commando.

_Shit…_

He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He’d just unabashedly jacked-off to Levi. Not that he wasn’t jizz-worthy. But…he wasn’t into this stuff, right? Eren could only assume he was going to be pissed when he found out. If he found out.

Eren amended his own mind, knowing he’d tell him. He had to. Tomorrow.

His mind and body finally began to wind down in the aftermath, almost asleep when his phone lit up again. A text; he assumed from Levi.

He was wrong.

**[DOC 11:45PM] don’t tell shortstuff**

Attached to the text was a picture, it was dark but the face was clear. It was a snapchat of Levi, who was as close to pouting as Eren had ever seen. Captioned with ‘I miss him.’

Eren almost whined, rolling over and curling up into his growing guilt until the sweet nothingness of sleep took him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if anyone actually has a grasp of turkish and sees something needing corrected, please tell me. because im using google translate so. yeah.
> 
> as always, comment sustain me. so do the thing.


	15. YOU'VE GOT ME HYPNOTIZED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i feel like Levi is probably really ooc in this chapter :/
> 
> also very special thank you to Chevapravatdumrong for helping me get the correct translations into turkish. it was so very helpful, really♥

_“Eren~”_

_The word had barely slipped from his tongue before lips were crashing into his, sucking the breath from his lungs. Warm fingers scratched over the rough of his undercut, marring the skin along the back of his neck as perfect lips sucked his between them. Levi couldn’t help the way his chest shuddered, heat seeping through his body under the attention._

_Slender hands ghosted over Eren’s hips, sliding tenderly, almost possessively, over his body, savoring the way the muscles in his back quivered under his touch. Levi smirked, the smallest of tugs at his lips, before pulling the brunet closer to him, capturing his lips and slipping his tongue between them._

_Pale fingers moved over smooth, dark skin, slipping into Eren’s pants to knead into his cheeks. Levi couldn’t deny the wash of heat in his body or jolt to his crotch at the way those green eyes, heavy lidded, looked down at him and the brunet’s head lolled back, a long, drawn out moan pushing from his lips._

_Glint in his steely eyes, Levi reach further down, cupping supple cheeks and greedily spreading them, kneading into the tender flesh and forcing Eren to spread his legs further in the way he straddled the shorter man’s hips._

_“Levi~”_

_Fuck, the way he said his name, lips kiss swollen and cheeks flushed and pupils blown. Levi would be lying if he said just the sound of it wasn’t enough to make his torso tense and muscles quiver, tingling drifting into his core. The way that Eren shifted, pressing down and grinding his hips against the bulge in his pants didn’t hurt any, either._

_“I want you in me~”_

Levi’s eyes snapped open, mind vaguely muddled and disoriented at the sudden shift of environment. His eyes drifted around the darkness to find his room, fan oscillating and blowing cool air against his mostly-naked form that was tangled in his blankets. He pushed his fingers back through his sleep-mussed hair, sigh slipping from his lips.

“This shit again?” He lifted his blanket, peeking under it to see a not so small tent in his underwear before letting out a groan and sitting up. He checked his phone; 9:00AM. He suppressed another groan—it was too damn early and he’d only gotten a few hours of sleep. But it was Christmas Eve evening in Turkey.

Setting his phone back down, he groggily made his way to the bathroom, figuring he had enough time to shower before Eren called so they could ‘spend Christmas together.’ He sighed as he stepped under the stream of scorchingly warm water. It’d do little to wake him up, but at least it felt nice.

Palm against the starkly cold tile, he braced himself firmly, head hanging as water dripped over his face, breath puffing from his lips. He furrowed his brows with annoyance, steel gaze falling to his dick, hanging heavy and still hard between his legs. Levi sighed in defeat.

“Fuck it.”

Keeping himself braced, he wrapped his free hand around his cock, stroking slowly at first. He could feel a familiar tightness in his chest; anticipation. Quickening his pace, he squeezed, angling so his thumb brushed over the head as he fervently pumped his shaft. It wasn’t long before his core jolted, toes curling on their and his hips trembled as they pushed into his hand, hot cum splurting onto the wall and floor of the shower.

Breathing heavily, he leaned his weight on his arm, watching the white, sticky liquid circle down the drain below his feet. His hands shook as he ran back through his hair, forcing himself to stand straight and finish his shower before the water made him pruney and the heat left him sick.

He quickly dried himself and dressed, taking only a moment to put his assorted piercings back into their proper place under his skin. His damp hair stuck to his forehead, much to his annoyance, even so he moved to the kitchen to make himself some sort of breakfast—not wanting to wait until Eren Skyped him to get some sort of sustenance into his body.

Levi had just unplugged the waffle maker when his phone rang, the obnoxiously distinct Skype call screaming at him. He’d never bothered to change the ringtone for it on his phone like he had on his computer. Still, there was a small tightening in his chest and a smile on his lips as he swiped his phone over the screen to find a familiar pair of green eyes staring up at him.

He could feel his mood soften just looking at Eren, his smile growing just a little. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed him. Sure, he had been more than aware that he had grown used to his presence—as had Hanji since he had bothered her when he’d normally talk to Eren—but to just feel…relaxed…just by seeing his face in the screen of his phone?

Well, it was what it was.

“Hope I didn’t wake you.” Eren didn’t sound apologetic at all. In fact, he was all smiles on the other end of the phone.

“You didn’t.” _Well, you kinda did…_ “You normally do celebrations on Christmas Eve?” He rolled up a buttered waffle with one hand, dipping the end into a puddle of syrup and cinnamon before taking a bite, careful not to dribble any sticky sweetness down his chin.

Eren shrugged, or at least Levi assumed he did from the minimal visibility he had through the screen. “Yeah, presents at least. We used to do Christmas dinner, which was more like two o’clock—why the fuck are holiday dinners always so damn early—” Levi couldn’t help but snort in agreement and amusement, watching as Eren seemed to lay back, his hair splayed around his face, “But we’d do dinner with Dad’s parents. At least until I came out anyway.”

Levi quirked an eyebrow and swallowed another bite before replying. “They disowned you?”

Eren’s mouth twisted up and he nodded sideways, as if tossing the word around in his head. “Yeah, pretty much.”

He didn’t seem hurt by it now, but Levi couldn’t help but wonder just how devastating it had been for him. He knew Eren had a way of distancing himself from things that once were.

“Well, their fucking loss.” He jabbed the waffle in his hand toward the screen on his phone. “Those assholes don’t deserve you in their life.”

Levi watched the way Eren’s cheeks lit up—just a little and barely perceptible through their phones—and his green eyes averted just so, white teeth peeking out from behind his lips. “Thanks.” The raven only smirked around his food, winking at Eren through the phone before turning his attention back to his meal. “What about you? You normally do waffles for Christmas Eve breakfast?”

It was a lame question, really, one just to fill the space and enjoy what time they had. Eren had rolled over, hair falling into his face as he laid his chin on something pulled close to his chest. Levi thought it was a pillow at first, then he recognized it as his scarf. He smiled softly, covering it by looking down at his food.

“Mm, yeah I guess I do. Christmas Eve. Thanksgiving. Hanukah. Wednesday. Randomly at 3am.” He looked toward his camera, amusement in his eyes. “Anytime is waffle time.”

Levi was rewarded by Eren’s lips pulling back and laughter bubbling from his throat. The older man couldn’t help the way his own lips pulled back into a smile, slightly crooked as his canines worked over the back of his piercing habitually.

“You sure this is okay? You don’t have anything else you need to do?” Eren’s brows furrowed in concern, a spark of hope in his eyes that Levi would, in fact, not have anything else to do.

“Oh yeah, I totally need to spend the day cleaning my apartment and punching some dragons.” Levi rolled his eyes, landing them on the screen. “I have the day off, and Hanji and Erwin usually bother me tomorrow for—” He hesitated only a moment, catching himself before the words slipped out. “Christmas.”

The face on the screen looked at him with a little uncertainty, but still somehow seemed to be fighting down the urge to be thrilled.

“Besides,” Levi wiped his hands on a towel, turning to smile softly at the screen—a smile he didn’t show many—and giving his full attention to Eren. “I’d rather spend Christmas Eve with you.” There was a tightness in his throat and the slightest of heat in his face as he realized what he had said, surprised at himself even.

But then Eren’s lips pulled into one of those can’t-fucking-stop-it smiles, eyes narrowed and crinkled in the corners. Levi wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen a face of such pure happiness before. He couldn’t really deny that it pleased him to be the cause of such a reaction, either.

Lucky for him, Eren didn’t ask.

“ _Eren, içeri gel!_ ”

Levi quirked an eyebrow at the female voice in the background, not comprehending anything she said beyond Eren’s name. Before he had a chance to respond, the brunet responded.

“Bir dakika, Mom. Levi ile bir görüşmem var.” Eren had turned toward the voice, words flowing from his lips easily.

“ _Onu yanınızda getirin_.”

“Evet, evet, geliyorum.” Eren let out a little sigh, the screen moving as he pushed himself up, giving Levi a quick glimpse of the surroundings; he realized that the brunet must’ve been lying on a balcony of some sort. “Mom wants me to come in, and bring you, too.” He smiled a little apologetically.

Levi said nothing for a few beats, only staring dumbfounded, eyes just a little wide and mouth narrowed ever so slightly.

“What? I mean if you don’t want to spend Christmas with the—”

“You speak another language.”

Silence for another few beats as Eren just stared back at him. And then the brunet snorted, laughter following.

“Evet, evet. Türkçe.” When Levi only stared, Eren laughed again. “Turkish. It’s Mom’s first language, so as a kid I picked it up from her. Bilingual since birth.” He gave Levi and crooked smile, winking.

“I had no idea.”

Eren grinned, shifting the screen just a bit and dropping his voice an octave and lowering his eyelids. “Şaftını sertleştiriyor mu? Seni _heyecanlandırıyor_ mu?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed, just knowing by the way Eren spoke that he’d said something dirty. Though, if he was being honest, hearing a different language drip from those lips didn’t leave him with a bad feeling. Not even remotely. Still, he only deadpanned until the brunet snorted and was once again back to his normal expression.

“Eren!”

The brunet jumped, turning toward the voice before the screen shook as he pushed to his feet. “Looks like you’re spending Christmas with the whole family.”

Levi only nodded approvingly as the screen bounced as Eren carried him around, holding the phone toward him but only half paying attention to the movement—the other half ensuring he didn’t manage to fall on his face.

“Say hello to Levi!” Eren’s voice rang out over the line, the screen wobbly and blurring as he turned the phone to face outward. It took a moment to settle and focus, and Levi was met with a familiar dark head of hair and a pair of dark eyes looking up at him.

Mikasa lowered her own phone—presumably texting Marco—and turned her attention to the screen. She pursed her lips and lifted her fingers in a reverse peace-sign; a silent—and playful—fuck off. Levi almost snorted, amusement tugging at his lips as he simply lifted his middle-finger to her, almost imperceptibly shaking his head.

“Dad—” Levi could hear the excitement in his voice, even when talking to his father, and he couldn’t help but feel some sort of contentment in it. Hearing Eren so happy just left him feeling so…relieved.

Of course the feeling was tainted when the screen landed on Grisha, glasses on his nose, eyes in a book, and his graying hair resting loose over his shoulders. His eyes lifted to the screen, meeting Levi’s, but he said nothing.

“Come on.” Eren almost whined, Levi certain it was to his dad.

Grisha let out a small sigh, breath slipping between his lips and shoulders slouching as if the air was taken from them. “Merry Christmas, Levi.”

Levi steeled his face—not that it was hard, he had always been stoic—and nodded softly. “You, too, sir.” He couldn’t say he liked using the term for Eren’s dad, he sure as hell didn’t hold much respect or regard for the man, but somehow it felt even worse to use his name.

The screen blurred again and it was Eren’s face that filled it, instantly washing Levi of the tension that Grisha had put into him. His boyfriend smiled, crooked and soft, and clearly saying sorry. Not that he was the one who needed to apologize.

And then the screen was moving again, Eren’s voice not quite as close as it should have been.

“Mom in the kitchen?”

“ _No, she called you in to talk to her while she shit_.” There was silence, Levi trying not to laugh—he wondered if he had rubbed off on Mikasa or if she had always been that way. “ _Yes she’s in the kitchen, Eren_.”

The screen shook and there was a muffled squeak, followed by an ‘ _Eren you dickbag!’_ and Levi was pretty sure that was a pillow that flew past the screen. Eren was smiling when the screen turned back toward him, though he was only there for a moment before he saw the figure of a dark haired woman, hair tied back in a loose braid, getting closer to the screen.

“Mom! Say hello to Levi!” There was a little squeak, and the screen shifted to show both Carla and Eren, his face resting on her shoulder and Levi could only assume he was hugging her tightly.

The older man was a bit surprised, if he was being honest. Sure, Eren was always more optimistic and excitable, but there was something different, something more…innocent in his behavior. There was a pang in his gut, suddenly wishing he had gone, had been a part of Eren’s happiness.

Been able to experience it firsthand.

“Mutlu Noeller, Levi.” Hazel eyes softened as Carla smiled down at him, and Levi couldn’t help but be a little taken aback by just how damn much she and Eren looked alike.

He twisted his lips with uncertainty, words coming out a question. “Merry Christmas?”

A light laughter fluttered from Carla’s lips, only serving to broaden Eren’s smile. “Good guess. You have any Christmas plans?”

Levi shifted slightly, not able to help feeling a little awkward. He tended to avoid situations like these. “Uh, this.”

Carla only laughed again, eyes seeming more than happy that he was doing so. “Well, we’re glad to have you.” She confirmed.

“ _Eren!_ ” The voice was distant, muffled, but unmistakably Mikasa’s. The brunet turned toward his sister’s voice, presumably still in the living area of the hotel room, and seemed to be having some sort of inner turmoil.

“Go on.” Carla smiled, tapping her son’s arm around her neck. The screen shifted for a moment, then stopped and moved in the opposite direction. “Leave Levi with me.”

Levi assumed the movement had been Carla taking the phone. Eren hesitated for a moment before nodding and kissing her cheek. “Okay.” And then he was gone.

Carla said nothing for one, two, ten seconds.

Then the screen moved as Carla did, presumably so she could keep an eye on the entryway for Eren—or at least that’s what Levi thought by the way her eyes flicked to and from the direction Eren had gone.

“I was kind of worried about him…” When her voice came out, it was softer than before, almost hushed. It was tinged with something. Pain? Regret? “I mean…” Sadness. It was sadness, Levi realized. Pure, unadulterated sadness.

“Mrs. Jaeger…what are you—”

“I know…about what happened.”

The sadness in her eyes said it all, and Levi couldn’t help the way his stomach felt like it was churning through heavy, cold concrete. But still, he furrowed his brows in confusion; he knew Eren had never told her. Before he could ask the question, she spoke again.

“Mikasa told me.” A small, soft smile tugged at her lips, sadness still swirling in her eyes. When she looked at the screen again, her expression softened more so, noting the heavy concern in Levi’s. “Just me.”

Levi’s expression must’ve visibly shown his relief, as her smile widened and a slight, breathy laugh slipped from her lips. “Mrs. Jaeger—”

She shook her head, dark hair falling around the edges of her face. “Please, call me Carla.”

He only nodded; it seemed odd to call her Carla given their history, and given how important she was to Eren. He loved his mother dearly, and Levi couldn’t help but feel that merited a certain respect.

“Levi…” Her voice was soft, concerned. But she said nothing for a beat or five. “Are you happy?” Her eyes moved, looking to the camera, looking at Levi. “With Eren?”

The question surprised him, but still his words slipped from his mouth without hesitation. “Yeah, I am.”

It almost surprised him how the words seem to come on their own, as if not asking him for permission first. It was a surprise that they were so honest, and that they came out so easily.

But they weren’t untrue.

“Good, I’m glad.” She smiled softly at him, a smile Levi recognized as one he’d seen on Eren’s face. “He seems…more at peace, like he’s moving on.”

“ _Mom!_ ”

She lifted her head, turning it toward the voice before back to Levi. Her eyes were sad again, but it was different than before. Even so, he noticed the way they seemed to well up, as if she were on the brink of tears. “Hey Levi…take care of Eren for me, okay?”

Levi’s brows furrowed, a sudden sickness in his gut as the uncertainty seemed to grow within him. “Mrs.—Carla…?”

She only smiled, tears speckling her lashes and nearly spilling over. “Please.”

He nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat and all the questions he had with it. “Okay.”

“Mom!” The screen shook and jolted, Eren’s face popping in and pressing a kiss to Carla’s cheek before he took the phone from her. “We’re waiting for you in the other room.”

Carla only nodded, kissing Eren’s cheek in return before saying goodbye to Levi and walking to what he assumed was the living area. Green eyes turned back to him, smile on his face and the raven almost felt guilty for not telling him what his mom had said.

“Hey, uh, can I call you back after we’re done doing presents?”

“Aw, don’t want me to see you opening up new unds from Mommy?”

Eren only snorted and rolled his eyes, smiling. “Exactly. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Levi nodded in response, saying his goodbyes before the call ended and his apartment felt suddenly very empty.

* * *

It had been a few hours since Levi had gotten off the call with Eren. It was nearing noon, bright light shining through his blinds and giving some much needed sustenance to his pot of dragon wings, and he was starting to wonder if his boyfriend was actually going to call back. He couldn’t really blame him if he’d gotten distracted doing something in Turkey, though.

That’s what vacations were for, right?

Even so, he had just began to drift off—still in that this-feels-uncomfortably-like-floating phase—when his phone rang on his chest. His body jolted and eyes snapped open, heart racing. He let out a slow breath, blinking away the sleep and answering the call.

“Heh, don’t tell me I woke you again?” Eren grinned down at him, Levi holding his phone above his face.

He let out a groan, pushing up a bit to rest against the arm of the couch. “This time, yes.” Levi didn’t miss the apology that flashed over Eren’s face. “Stop that, I’m glad you called back.”

 _When did I become so soft?_ His eyes moved to the ‘IFC’ on his hand only for a moment before returning to attention.

“Did you get anything good?” Levi shifted a bit, pushing the pillow up under his head.

“Yeah, but we went small this year. The trip was Christmas for all of us.” Even so, he brought a pink mug with a yellow star to his lips and sipped what Levi assumed was coffee.

“That’s new.” He nodded toward the screen, meaning the cup.

“Yeah, Mikasa got it for me.” He smiled happily, taking another sip.

“It seems…dark there.” It was, too. Eren was dark on his screen, almost like the previous snapchats. It was different this time, a brighter glow but softer somehow.

“Oh, yeah, I’m on the balcony. Only way to really get any privacy.” He shifted where he sat, and Levi couldn’t help but be suspicious.

“Needing privacy for a specific reason?” He quirked an eyebrow, suddenly more at attention than before.

“Levi…I need to tell you something.”

He swallowed hard, throat suddenly tight and heart lodged in his esophagus and that same concrete-churning heaviness in his stomach. He pushed up onto his elbow, brows furrowing and eyes very, very focused.

“What is it, Eren?” He couldn’t help but think the worst.

“It’s just I—” Eren shifted again, awkwardness on his lips and in his eyes and that only made Levi all the more anxious. “I jacked off to you okay—”

“What.”

“It’s just I missed you and your scarf smelled like you and those pictures of you after the shower which I probably shouldn’t have saved or whatever—”

“Eren—”

“And I know you’re asexual so it’s really fucked up of me and I didn’t mean to disrespect you because I know you don’t like that stuff and I’m sorry!”

By time the words stopped spilling out of Eren’s mouth, tripping over one another, the only sound coming from Levi was laughter. Full-chested, hearty laughter. He had rolled onto his side, pillow on the floor, and the phone somewhere next to it as his body shook with amusement.

“Levi?” Eren’s voice was small, and not just because of the muffled speaker.

Carefully, he brought the phone back up so he was in view, face partially buried in his arm from laughter and eyes slightly glossy with laugh-induced tears.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, Eren, that’s just—” He snorted again, swallowing his laughter. “I thought.” He didn’t finish, pushing his fingers back through his hair to let it fall into place.

Eren looked utterly confused, pressing his lips together and furrowing his brows, almost huffing with frustration.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think—” One last breath and Levi was done, only smiling softly. “Eren, you don’t need to feel bad about that. Just because I’m asexual doesn’t mean you’re expected to be, okay? Of course you’re still gonna want to do those things. And I sent you the pictures, okay? I don’t care that you used them for that.”

Levi shifted again, moving to sit up and watching as Eren’s expression relaxed. “If I didn’t want you to see them, I wouldn’t have sent them, okay? And I don’t care that they got you off. Or that you got off. Everyone wanks it—” His mouth twisted, hand making a jerking motion just in-camera. “Even me.”

He quite intentionally left out that it was a less than clean dream about Eren that had spurred his most recent self-sexcapade.

“It’s…really okay?” Levi only nodded in response, and he watched as Eren let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry, Eren. I didn’t think to talk to you about it. When you get back, we’ll talk okay?”

Eren nodded softly, smiling. “I’d like that.” His voice was soft to match, and Levi couldn’t help but feel a little guilty that he had laughed when the brunet had been so worried.

There was the sound of knuckles on glass in the background, and he watched as Eren looked up and back before nodding and turning back to the screen.

“Hey…I gotta go, sorry. I miss you…” There was only a second of pause, Eren’s eyes softening a little more. “Goodnight, Levi.”

Levi smiled smallest of smiles as he refused to admit that he missed Eren, too.

“Goodnight, Eren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments sustain me, do that thing
> 
> edit: if it wasnt obvious, I just wanted to point out that this (and all my snk fics) are on hiatus. this is absolutely a temporary hiatus, as I have the entirety of this fic plotted. just sorta lost my luster for snk and so until it comes back i'll continue working on fics from my other fandoms. thank you for your patience!


	16. WHAT BEAT IN MY CHEST WASN'T MINE ANYMORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whos back. back again.  
> okay seriously look at this! off hiatus! im sorry its been forever. and honestly i wont be updating this as quickly as i used to because ive been having a lot of fun writing for my other fandoms too. so itll probably come in bursts. but we're back yo.
> 
> also im so very sorry because i know my writing style has changed a lot in 6 months and theres literally nothing i can do about that. also i took the jearmin smut out of the first chapter cause hahaha that was just me being self indulgent.

Levi’s eyes burned as he stared at the nothingness of his gray ceiling; tired, red veins of regret carved their way to his steely irises. Cold, slender fingers rubbed over his eyelids and he rolled onto his side, pulling his knees close to his body and pulling the warm, dark covers up over his nose. He had no idea how long he’d been laying here—judging by the more-white-than-gold light threatening to burst through his black-out curtains, somewhere around five hours.

A sigh slipped from his lips, swallowed by the wet-heat of the air trapped under the comforter, as he reached for his phone. 11 A.M. He rubbed his feet together and contemplated staying in bed longer. There was no point in getting up, was there? After all, he _had_ already tried that.

He’d managed to sleep a few hours before waking up to piss and had not been able to return to his slumber. When he couldn’t, he had scuffled around the house, eyes narrowed with fatigue and frustration that was blameless.

Which only served to make him more frustrated.

He had taken it out on his kitchen. And living room. And bathtub. And the blankets around his house that didn’t really need washing but, hey, he had his own washing machine so might as well fucking use it. He had washed them all, washed everything.

Except the red throw on the back of the couch. He had grabbed it during his tirade, cloth soft against his fingers instantly dulling his frustration and halting his movements. He had brought it to his mouth, hands twisting into the material; it didn’t smell like him anymore, but still, he couldn’t bring himself to wash it. Instead he simply folded it and returned it to its place—next to the blue scarf.

It was then that Levi had returned to bed. The sun had risen but the last thing he wanted to do was be awake then. He could feel it setting in. And he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Or rather, he didn’t want to acknowledge _why._

So he didn’t. He pretended he was just tired. Pretended that there wasn’t a crushing weight on his chest and that his legs didn’t feel like they were filled with thousands of ants on crack and that his mind wasn’t a jumble of thoughts that were too rapid to be coherent and not knowing what to do with his hands absolutely was not a thing.

The following hours he did nothing but try to sleep. Try very, very hard.

Futile effort, that.

Finally, with an exaggerated sigh, he pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed. He had barely made it to the living area, fingers mindlessly scratching over his stomach and eyes wandering for his next victim, when there was a knock at his door.

There were only two people who knocked rather than buzzed and he couldn’t figure why either would be at his apartment this early. They were supposed to meet later for his birthday, but he hadn’t gotten any messages. The fact that the knocking had stopped after the first—rather than continuing until he opened the door—at least let him know who he was contending with.

Good, he thought, it was too early to deal with Hanji, anyway.

“Erwin, what the fu—” He had barely opened the door before a big ass hand had gripped his wrist and tugged him through the doorway; the door slammed shut behind him. “Erwin what the fuck? Where are you fucking taking me?” The words were uneven, feet moving faster to keep up with the blond’s long stride as he was dragged behind him.

“No time.”

“Fucking eyebrows—” Levi yanked back on his arm, swiftly—and mostly gently—kicking the back of Erwin’s knee; pushing the large man against the wall as his knees bent, a strong forearm pressed against his collarbone leaving them almost eye-level. Steel eyes narrowed. “Make time.”

Erwin grinned down at him—Levi had him pinned to the wall and they both knew he could take him and yet he was actually _grinning_. “It’s a surprise?”

“…A…?” Levi’s eye narrowed, a frustrated breath slowly forcing its way from the back of his throat. Giving in, he released him and took a step back. “I can walk myself, thank you.”

The taller man only grinned, righting himself and walking past him. “Better keep up, then, shorty.”

Levi glared, frustration pushing his eyes dangerously close to crossing, but he followed Erwin nonetheless. The blond’s car was parked in the closest space; the black BMW was shiny as always and he had left it running and warm when he’d come to kidnap him. There was only a few years difference between them but apparently it made a big difference between discharged and finishing your stint in the military.

He never complained, not genuinely. He wasn’t in need and it wasn’t like Erwin was some rich asshat; three combined incomes certainly made things easier.

“So are you going to tell me where the fuck we’re going?” Levi’s voice came out with more of a bite than he had meant it to. He was cranky and he felt like shit and he wanted to go back to his (currently unlocked) apartment and curl up on the couch for another few hours. He shifted in his seat as he waited for an answer, crossing his legs and pulling his feet up into the seat in front of him.

“What part of surprise don’t you understand?”

Levi slowly turned to look at him, Erwin’s lips tight as he tried not to smile. “What part of unnecessary sass do you not understand?”

Erwin did smile this time. “Salty today, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, wonder why.” He muttered, wriggling his bare feet and glad that the heater was working efficiently.

“You’ll see soon enough. Just think of it as a birthday present.”

Levi quirked a sharp brow, eyes watching out the window. “Isn’t that what the gathering tonight is?”

Erwin hummed, shaking his head. “That’s just celebrating. Not a gift.”

“Whatever.” Levi mumbled. He wasn’t actually upset, not really, and he was sure Erwin knew that. He trusted the taller man and the reverse was just as true. Though…he’d really have preferred at least being able to grab shoes and a jacket. And lock the damn apartment.

Levi had stopped paying attention to the drive about five minutes in. It’s not like it was exciting to watch the world blur past and Erwin wasn’t going to tell him where they were going, anyway. Eventually he gave up and instead opted to curl up against the door, pulling the blond’s jacket off the back of the seat and covering up with it.

There was something about Erwin that let him let his guard down completely.

He let his eyes fall shut under the dark warmth of the jacket, comfortable familiar scent filling his nostrils. He wouldn’t sleep, knew he wouldn’t, but he didn’t mind the rest. It was almost nice, if he was being honest. Familiar music. Familiar smell. The vibrations of the car. He wasn’t sure how long he’d lain like that, drifting in the warmth, before Erwin spoke up.

“Fuck, we’re going to be late.”

“Late for what?” His lips were the only thing that moved; the rest of him staying comfortable curled up under the big black jacket.

“Here, eat this.”

There was a light flump on the outside of the jacket. Slowly, he peeked out from under it and found a pack of spearmint flavored gum. Levi looked at it questioningly before slowly taking a piece and folding it into his mouth, cool sugar slipping down his throat as he chewed.

His eyes narrowed as he peeked out through the window, blinded by the sunlight reflecting off the snow. “Erwin…” He thought he knew where they were but somehow couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Why would Erwin bring him here?

“Where are you, where are you?” Gloved fingers tapped the steering wheel as he pulled to a stop, blue eyes wandering over the large, mostly empty parking lot. “Oh—” Erwin turned, rummaging behind the passenger seat before tossing a pair of flip-flops to Levi. “Put these on.”

Levi did, not missing the way they dwarfed his feet. He only dead-panned to Erwin, staring momentarily before, “Really?”

Erwin shrugged. “Well I mean you can go barefooted if you prefer. But,” He nodded toward the window. “Get out.”

“What? Its fucking colder than Jack Frost’s nipples out there I’m not going out there.”

Erwin rolled his eyes, grabbing his jacket off Levi and reaching over him to open the door before effectively shoving him out of the car.

“What the actual fuck, Erwin?”

Erwin just shut the door, pointing behind Levi and waiting. The raven huffed, shuffling in the flip-flops and ignoring the fact that his gray sleep-pants were getting wet in the snow. The air was cold against his arms, his body; his black a-shirt did little—nothing—to keep him warm.

Still, he trusted Erwin—a fact he was currently reassessing—and so he turned around. His stomach flipped as his eyes narrowed and focused.

It couldn’t be.

He was too far to see details, but there was only one person in the parking lot headed in their direction. His black coat and dark skin and loose dark hair—whipped by the occasional wind—were stark against the brightness of the snow and almost-white building.

“Eren.” His voice was barely more than a whispered breath, swallowed and drowned by the cold air. His stomach churned and his heart pounded and he could feel the urge to run tingling from his toes and up through his legs. He’d deny all this later, as he was already denying it in his own head as he refused to move.

He didn’t have to, though. Levi watched as a grin spread across the face of the man in the distance—distance which was very quickly closing as the brunet sprinted toward him.

“Levi!” Eren was still grinning, voice warbled by his movements and he gave Levi no warning before he literally leapt at him.

“Fu—” Levi stumbled back, managing to catch him even in Erwin’s flip-flops. There was no room for ‘what the fuck are you doing’s as long arms wrapped around his neck and longer legs around his hips.

Levi’s stomach flipped as he held him close, arms tight around his warm, bundled body. Long hair drifted against his face, tickling his nose and Eren pulled back just enough to look at him. His eyes seemed to glow—soft and happy—and his cheeks and nose were red from exertion and cold.

Before Eren could say anything, Levi pushed forward just enough to crash their lips together. There was a hum of surprise and he could feel lips smiling against his before they pressed back into the kiss. It was warm and soft and tentative and sent a warm chill down his spine.

Levi didn’t stop, couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. He just squeezed him tighter, fingers twisting into his jacket, and kissed his lips quick and desperate. He pressed his lips to the corner of Eren’s mouth, to his cheek, his long lashes over beautiful eyes, beside his ear, over his jaw, down his neck. The brunet could only laugh, breathless as he squeezed him just as tight, ankles locked firmly behind his back.

His desperation seemed to ease, nose pressed against warm dark skin, face buried in long chestnut locks, the smell of Eren filling his head and making his heart flip-flop its way into his throat. Levi nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder, refusing to relinquish his hold quite yet.

“Tekrar hoşgeldin.” His voice was muffled, keeping his face buried. There was a pause, then Levi felt soft lips pressed just behind his ear, warm against his cold skin.

“I missed you, too, Levi.”

His cheeks warmed, squeezing Eren just a little tighter in his arms. “Shut up, Eren.”

“So—not to interrupt all this gay you’ve got going on but,” Erwin’s voice rang out, hand tapping the top of his car. Levi turned, Eren still in his arms; the brunet reluctantly lowering his feet to the ground and standing beside him. “Unless you intend to die of hypothermia?”

Levi turned toward Erwin, opening his mouth to protest, but finding sudden warmth enveloping his body as Eren wrapped his jacket around him. His teeth clacked shut as he sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

* * *

The trip back to Levi’s apartment had been mostly silent, but for an explanation of what exactly he was doing back a week early. Eren had only grinned, fingers slipping into the pale ones of his boyfriend. Eventually, he spilled—how could he not when those steely eyes were glaring at him.

 _‘Hanji had told me it was your birthday today—’_ He had shot Levi a look, a why-the-fuck-didn’t-you-tell-me? _‘Erwin said he’d pick me up if I could fly back. And well, when Mom found out she didn’t give me any choice.’_

Levi had accepted that as good enough, curling his fingers into Eren’s. The brunet hadn’t missed the way Erwin was grinning in the front seat—proud? Smug? Both, probably—and he was just silently thankful for time zones and his boyfriend’s unerring friends.

“How long before we have to leave?” Eren leaned around the hall entryway, tugging on his freshly cleaned jeans. He had tried to argue but Levi had insisted he wash the clothes while Eren showered—saying how they were threaded with airport filth. The brunet had only grinned, not all that against lounging around the apartment in his boyfriend’s clothes with said boyfriend.

“Fifteen minutes.” Eren hummed in response, tugging on his socks. “Hey, come here.”

Bright eyes turned to Levi, sitting on the couch and looking up at him. “Something up?” He sounded somehow serious, but had said nothing as Eren neared him.

Cold fingers gingerly squeezed the tips of his own, tugging gently. Eren was cautious, letting Levi guide him into his lap, his knees sitting on each side of the shorter man’s hips. “Levi..?”

Still, he said nothing, and part of Eren was beginning to worry. But long fingers slipped up his neck, gently pulling him down and closing the gap between them. Levi’s lips were soft and slow against his own. His eyes fluttered shut at the warmth that spread from his lips through his body as he relaxed against him.

And then, he shuddered, a hot, wet tongue swiping gently over the seam of his lips. He opened his eyes, just barely; just enough to see lidded steel eyes looking back at him. He wanted to question, wanted to reassure, wanted to know this was what Levi wanted and not just in that moment but tomorrow or the next—not just a result of being apart.

Instead, he parted his lips and watched as Levi’s eyes closed. A tongue gently slipped between his lips, brushing against his own, a warm exhale shuddering against his mouth. Slender fingers twisted into his hair, holding him close as their tongues slowly, languidly, and maybe even cautiously, twisted against the other.

_Fuck this—Levi is—this is his taste—it feels so!!!!_

Eren’s mind couldn’t focus, a mix of screaming and excitement and careful tenacity. His movements were slow; a stark contrast to the butterflies swarming in his stomach or the way his heart was practically vibrating in his chest. The warm tingling spread from his lips, dripping down his spine and throughout his body.

He wanted to move. He wanted to touch. He wanted to bite and suck and taste and _feel_. But Eren remained as still as he could, humming gently into the kiss and careful not to do anything more than Levi wanted. Anything more than Levi asked for.

But fuck was it enough to drive him crazy. Enough to put him on edge. His body was warm and his lips reddened and shit did Levi taste good; like nothing in particular but it was _Levi_.

His breath puffed out when their lips parted, cheeks flushed as Levi looked up at him. His lips were just as red, and no matter how he searched, he found no regret in those steel blue eyes.

Eren could only stare for a moment, vaguely dazed. The kiss wasn’t sexual, not even to the brunet. But still, it was intimate and it was a new step and it was _good_ and it left him breathless.

“Time to go.”

Eren nodded, slowly moving from his lap and pulling on his shoes. He stopped at the door as they pulled on their jackets. “Are you sure it’s okay that I come? I mean isn’t this usually a tradition with you three?”

Levi shrugged, tugging the hood from under his jean jacket. “Erwin invited you. Besides, my birthday.” He leaned up and kissed Eren, who could only blush.

Kisses being a regular thing was definitely something Eren was okay with.

The trip to the sunshine trio’s house didn’t take long, only taking longer because they stopped to pick up Chinese on the way. It had been paid for, and was apparently a Levi-birthday tradition. Eren couldn’t say he was surprised to find that the three of them had an actual house, and a nice one at that. The three of them just had that air about them—not of hoity rich people, just of being well-established.

“Le—vi~!” They had barely stepped out of the car before Hanji sing-songed his name and there was a whoosh of brown as she ran past Eren—effectively tackling Levi to the ground with a loud thud.

“Shitty-glasses—” He groaned as she exaggerated her nuzzling against his chest.

“Happy bi—rthday!”

Eren had to suppress his laughter as Levi sighed, defeated, and patted her head.

“Eren, you can bring that into the living room. Might be a few before she lets him go.” Erwin grinned from the doorway, holding it open for him.

By the time Hanji and Levi joined them, the containers were scattered over the coffee table, enough bowls and drinks laid out. He questioned the number; why only four?

“Uh, where’s Mike and Nana?” He looked up at the three of them, Levi settling in beside him on the floor and Hanji quickly popping a movie into the player.

“Work. Mike’s a firefighter. Today’s the last day of his cycle so he’ll be back tonight but probably not till late. Nana’s at her studio still; she said she’d just hang around at the station until Mike gets off.” Erwin shrugged as he grabbed a piece of general tso’s and popped it into his mouth. “I told her she was welcome to join us but she just said ‘this is a thing for you three.’”

Eren’s stomach sank as he heard that. He didn’t mean to but his shoulders slumped and his eyes lowered to the food in front of him. He knew he shouldn’t have come, invited or not, boyfriend or not.

“Relax, kid. That’s Nana-speak for I’m-going-ride-that-titan-dick-in-the-back-of-the-firetruck-until-I-cant-walk.” Levi said nonchalantly, pouring some white rice into his bowl with his beef broccoli.

“Oh—I—” Eren blushed, turning back to the food and scooping a little of everything into his bowl.

Eren was honestly a little surprised—yet not surprised at all—with how quiet the night was. They spent it watching movies; mostly Japanese films with truly awful English dubbing. They chattered, mostly Hanji, and time just seemed to slowly pass.

It wasn’t a big hullabaloo, there wasn’t even cake or presents, but Eren guessed that was exactly the way Levi liked it. He didn’t like his birthday, he thought, but this? Eating Chinese and watching shitty dubs with his two best friends—and boyfriend—well, Eren thought that fit Levi perfectly.

It wasn’t until nearly one in the morning that Mike and Nana had finally come home. He thought they both seemed very…satisfied. They took their coats off at the door, and she grinned as she turned to look at them.

“Well don’t you all just look cozy.”

Eren thought they probably did, Levi leaning into him and his arm wrapped around the smaller man; and Hanji lying sprawled out on top of Erwin, asleep on his chest. He couldn’t help but thinking the blond had some serious fortitude; Levi would have pushed her onto the floor the second a droplet of drool landed on his shirt.

“And the birthday boy’s still awake. Not surprising, really.” Nanaba smiled as both she and Mike came up behind the couch they were sitting on. “An hour late, but happy birthday, Levi.” She smiled, leaning down and pressing their lips together.

_What._

“Happy birthday.” Mike did the same, leaning own and kissing Levi quick and soft.

_What?_

Eren said nothing, heart pounding in his chest and he felt hot and like the blood was draining from his body all at once. No one said anything. No reaction. Levi had even kissed back and said his gratitude.

_What????_

He couldn’t say anything. It was Levi’s birthday. And he knew there was…something. He remembered that Hanji had kissed him at the party, too. Eren was sure it was nothing; sure it was something everyone understood but him.

Everyone but him.

_I…I’ll ask him about it…later._

He swallowed hard, and well, if his arms were a little tighter around Levi, who would notice?

Eren couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. They were snuggled watching a movie and the next thing he knew he was waking up with a warm body under his, legs tangled, and steel blue eyes looking down at him. They were stretched out on the second couch, blanket strewn over them—he was certain that wasn’t there when they fell asleep—and pillows under Levi’s head.

“Hey.” His voice was tight with sleep, throat dry as he smiled up at Levi.

“Hey.” Levi didn’t quite smile back, instead tilting Eren’s chin up and leaning in to kiss him softly; good morning.

Eren could only smile again, eyes softening and relishing the affection. Then there was a heavy hand on his head, ruffling his hair. He turned to see Mike, a small grin on his face as he walked past.

“If you two are done with all that syrup, there’s eggs, bacon, and pancakes ready and waiting.”

“Up.” Levi demanded, eyes slightly averted and awkward—Eren thought maybe he was a little embarrassed for the PDA—and the brunet could only grin and comply.

“I’ve lost to breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at them. theyre happy. theyre in love. and its only chapter 16 (눈‿눈)
> 
> comments sustain me, do that thing


	17. I JUST WANT TO USE YOUR LOVE TONIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder that levi is socially awkward and i love him. ~~im pretty sure these two get more ooc every chapter but they are doing cute shit that i didn't plan and i cant stop them~~

It had been less than a week since Eren had returned home. A week he had spent wearing clothes that were just a little too loose in the arms and chest and maybe short enough that he had to pretend not to notice—because he didn’t want another book thrown at his head when he wheezed laughter in the hallway. Eren wasn’t complaining but he couldn’t help feeling like he was imposing.

He had mentioned calling a cab when they returned after Levi’s birthday, but Levi had deadpan-stared that idea to the floor. Levi had just shrugged after that, sipping his tea through the space between his finger and thumb, saying that he’d take Eren home if he wanted to go, but that he didn’t have to.

‘ _I don’t mind if you stay here,_ ’ he’d said.

Eren had been a little dumbfounded by the statement, so easily spilling from Levi’s lips. Even now it made him smile and made his heart giddy. Eren couldn’t be sure Levi knew just how much that meant, or maybe even realized what it meant at all.

No, he was sure Levi knew the latter. Levi didn’t do things unthinkingly.

But for Levi to offer to let him stay in his house, in his clothes, even when he was gone at work? Eren could feel the heat on his cheeks as he covered his face and let himself fall back onto Levi’s bed—he’d deny acting like a ten year old girl later. The bed was firm and the comforter was fluffy and it was cold and gray but he knew it had to be just as warm inside as Levi was.

Eren inhaled as air puffed up around him, carrying Levi’s scent with it. It permeated his senses, flooding in through his nose and getting stuck somewhere deep in his throat where Eren could taste it on the back of his tongue. It was strong and subtle and pulled at something in his core that left his mouth slightly drier than before and his hands itching to move, to touch.

His fingers flexed and kneaded against the cool comforter, inhaling slow and deep; wondering just what Levi’s scent would smell like if it was laced with sex. Eren physically shook the thought away, long hair falling loosely onto the bed below him.

They still hadn’t had that conversation, but… _Levi had said it was okay…hadn’t he?_

Eren swallowed, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face into the comforter near the pillows. He couldn’t help the way his cock twitched in his pants—in Levi’s pants—at the way the smelled overwhelmed is brain, heady and laced with mint from Levi’s shampoo. Eren’s hips began to move, slow and shallow, gyrating and grinding against the mattress below him.

A low groan pushed into the back of his throat, huffing out through his nose and heating the blanket pressed against his face. Eren pushed his hips down harder, seeking more friction as he felt himself grow hard in his pants. He shuddered and rolled his hips again, thighs spreading wide so he could press deeper against the blanket, the soft cotton of his underwear already dampening as it brushed against him.

Eren swallowed hard, fingers aching and itching as they brushed beneath his waistband.

_I shouldn’t do this. I should not be doing this. Levi would fucking kick my ass if he knew I was doing this. Levi would fucking… Levi..fucking…_

Eren threw all lucid thought away, fingers pressing subtly against the head of his cock, a wet gasp slipping against the blanket before he wrapped his fingers around himself. His movements were slow, warm hands against a warmer shaft, thumb spreading precum with every stroke.

His body was screaming, begging for him to hurry the fuck up, that it had been far too long since its last orgasm. But Eren bit into his lips, keeping his movements steady. Eren lifted his hips, just enough to give himself free range of motion, and couldn’t stop his other hand from drifting over his thigh, firm against the long muscle beneath.

He remembered strong hands on his back. Strong hands on his hips and thighs. Long slender fingers and shoulders all thick sinew and broad strength squeezing him tight, holding him suspended as hot lips kissed away the cold winter air.

Eren shuddered his breath out, wondering what those hands would feel like on his body. His eyes lolled shut, imagining cold fingertips tracing the lines in his back, gripping his hipbones like handles, pushing in—

“A-ah!” Eren’s lips parted, wet and bitten red, unable to stop the sound at the thought of Levi sliding into him.

Eren swallowed hard, saliva thick and heavy on his tongue, pushing down his throat. His body was hot and his breath was coming wet and heavy from his lips, hard pants suffocating against the comforter. Eren’s fingers shook, just barely, as he slipped them into his mouth, tongue laving over the digits. He could remember the way Levi tasted, the way his tongue felt against Eren’s, and it was enough to spill precum against his still slowly moving fingers.

Ignoring the saliva lining his lips, he released his fingers and reached behind him. Eren swallowed hard; was he nervous? If he was thinking, he would have realized he was, that he had barely done this in years; but all he could focus on was the way his ass pulsed at the idea of Levi opening him up and fucking into him, of that small, strong body devouring every inch of Eren’s body and fucking Eren until he came with Levi’s name on his tongue and dick in his ass.

His breath shuddered from his lungs as he circled his entrance, pad of his finger massaging over the hot flesh. On his next exhale, Eren pressed in. He couldn’t stop the choked sound that pushed from his lips, the way his hand squeezed his cock and his body tensed at the slight pain. But his body slowly relaxed and oh it was worth it. Tense pleasure purred down his neck, settling in his nape only until he shuddered and it pooled into the rest of his body. It was like slipping into a favorite shirt that hadn’t been worn in years—familiar and warm and home.

“Haah—Levi~” The name whispered from his lips without his permission as he pushed his finger further into himself, slowly moving it along his inner walls. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want more, didn’t want to feel exactly what Levi would feel like inside of him, how _full_ he’d fill him, how he’d stretch him, so good, so wide.

Eren felt himself clench at the thought, cheeks flushed and hair falling around his face. His breath was heavy and wet as it pushed from his lungs—quick ragged breaths hot against his lips.

He’d taken this too far; there was a twinge of guilt in the back of his mind, and the crossing thought of ‘what if Levi catches me.’ He let out a whimper at that, felt his cock pulse in his hand; that particular trait of exhibitionism was something he’d have to approach at a later time.

Instead, he swallowed hard, and began to stroke himself faster. He was already on the edge and knew all he had to do was keep moving. But fuck if the idea of waiting here for Levi to take him—he crooked his fingers, brushing against his walls toward his hips and—

“Aah—fuck—Levi, there—” He bit down on his lip, tasted the tang of iron against his tongue, but couldn’t care as white-heat sparked behind his eyes and tension twisted sharp and burning at the base of his spine. He moved his fingers again, not bothering to let up this time, and his body jolted. His hips fucked forward into his hand, fingers firm around his cock, and his voice choked in his throat. His lips were wet, saliva threatening to spill over as he mewled into the pillow—the pillow that smelled so strongly of Levi—the pillow that _belonged_ to Levi.

His vision swayed and he clamped his eyes closed, brows pulling together as his thighs shook and his torso quivered. Eren felt himself clench so tight he couldn’t even bother moving his fingers, and then he let out a harsh, raw groan into the pillow as hot cum spilled over his fingers and into his underwear.

Eren had barely slipped his fingers from his ass when he collapsed onto the mattress. His whole body felt heavy, and he nosed deeper into Levi’s pillow, feeling himself drift into darkness sprawled over Levi’s bed with his hand still cum-covered in his underwear.

* * *

“Hey—” The thigh knocking against his feet—which hung over the arm of the couch—jolted Eren from his sleep. “And here I was worried that you would be lonely here all by yourself.” Levi’s deadpan stare only brought a smile to his lips.

It pulled wider into a grin as Eren stood to his feet, stretching his arms above his head with a groan that he absolutely did not mean to sound so sexual, sharp hipbones peeking out from under the hem of his shirt.

“Heh, you were worried about me?” The smile that split across Eren’s face couldn’t decide if it wanted to be devious or not—lips full of smartassery but eyes softened around the edges with genuine joy at the fact.

Levi brushed Eren’s bangs back, cold fingers holding them away from his face and Eren leaned into his touch. “Don’t tell anyone, it’ll ruin my reputation.” He pressed his lips softly to Eren’s forehead and Eren felt his cheeks warm.

“What’s that?” Eren tilted his head, noticing the plastic bag crinkling in Levi’s hand.

“Ah—alfredo. Thought you might be hungry.” Levi set the bag and its contents on the living room table, careful not to let the two-liter inside topple. “I picked up a bottle of Dr. Pepper, too. It’s your favorite right?”

When had he picked up that bit of information?

Levi was already walking toward his room, fingers unbuttoning the front of his uniform, before Eren had a chance to ask. Eren busied himself taking the plastic containers from the bag; he absolutely wasn’t trying to distract himself from the thought of Levi undressing from a security guard uniform. Nope. Not a thing.

He inhaled deeply as he opened one of the containers; the scent of garlic and parmesan and mozzarella assaulted his nostrils and he couldn’t complain. It looked as delicious as it smelled, steaming hot and creamy. Eren’s mouth had already began to salivate as Levi walked out of his bedroom, pushing the last of his piercings through his lip and quirking an eyebrow at Eren staring at him—mouth open and a shrimp halfway to his lips. He grinned, caught guilty handed.

“Guess you picked the shrimp.” Levi shrugged, walking to get too-large bowls and utensils. He didn’t bother to ask before spooning some of both the chicken alfredo and shrimp alfredo into both bowls. Eren had barely gotten a forkful into his mouth before Levi spoke again. “So should I ask why my comforter has been washed?”

Eren’s body tensed, brain hiccupping in momentary panic. “Uh,” He swallowed his food—not quite chewed enough. It’d have been painful forcing its way down his esophagus if not for his brain spinning on stripped gears at the moment.

“You don’t make the bed like I do.” Levi twisted his pasta onto his fork, carefully closing his lips around it and pulling it into his mouth.

“I just, well you washed everything else before I got here, right, so I thought maybe you wanted that washed and I was here all day so I mean not like I had anything else to do right?” Eren’s words were coming out too fast, stumbling over each other before spilling off his tongue, preceding nervous laughter. Levi wasn’t looking at him, keeping his eyes trained on his fork.

Intently.

“Ah, well. You didn’t have to do that.”

Eren’s brows furrowed just the slightest at Levi’s obvious awkwardness. He wanted to push, lips parted for a second before pressing tight together and thinking better of it. He’d rather not delve too deep into the ‘why are you awkward that I washed your comforter it’s not like I jizzed on it or anything’ conversation. Instead, Eren opted to fill his mouth with food rather than questions.

Besides, it was fucking delicious.

They ate mostly in silence, Eren’s thigh pressing beneath one of Levi’s knees—Levi sitting cross-legged on the couch. A smile tugged at the corner of Eren’s mouth at how small his boyfriend was, but he hid it with another mouthful of creamy deliciousness. He knew Levi could kick his ass without trying.

Eren eventually forced his eyes back to the TV, background noise so they wouldn’t have to suffer hearing each other eat. They didn’t talk—Eren didn’t ask him about his day, and Levi did the same. Small talk was something neither of them favored, or found necessary. They’d rather just appreciate each other’s presence than try to fill the comfortable silence with unneeded words.

It was as Eren stretched, chest opening and arms hooking around the back of the couch that Levi finally shifted beside him. There was the warble of paper followed by the _scritch-tack_ of a pen writing. Eren glanced out of the corner of his eye, not moving to read what he was writing, and instead getting distracted by the slight movement of the muscle in Levi’s shoulder.

Eren’s curiosity was just about to get the better of him when Levi set the pen flat on the paper and slid them both across the table to rest in front of Eren. His eyes scanned over the paper, seeing that Levi had split it into three columns: will, won’t, want. He blinked, once, twice, three times before he realized what this was.

Green eyes opened just a little wider, lips just barely parting. There was a tingling in his arms, a restlessness as just the edges of anxiety awakened in him. He tried not to let it show, forcing his hands steady as his fingers touched the corner of the paper. Was he supposed to be this nervous? Would he be this nervous with anyone but Levi? Would he even bother making a list with anyone other than Levi?

The answer to those questions was ‘probably not’ but it _was_ Levi so it didn’t matter.

This wasn’t just a ‘let’s try this sin’, this was something new. This was a next step. This was a level up.

Eren swallowed forcefully, willing his eyes to focus on the paper’s contents. There wasn’t much written other than what each column represented. There was a few basics in the will column, followed by a row of question marks, the want column was left completely empty, and there was only one thing written in the won’t column.

In green ink, in small, crisp capital letters: will not bottom.

Eren quirked an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth twitched as fiddled with the pen. “Won’t bottom? Won’t even try it?”

Steel eyes flicked over to Eren’s, and Eren saw something flash behind them that he had never seen in Levi, not even once. His brows furrowed upward and his eyes faltered and if Eren had been looking at Levi’s lips he’d have seen the way they pressed together ever-so-subtly. There was a memory in those eyes, a hurt that never quite leaves but just gets smothered with enough effort.

It was a look Eren knew.

A look Eren had seen in the mirror.

He knew that look intimately; he would never ask again.

Eren turned back to the paper, bringing the butt of the pen between his lips. He wasn’t sure what to add for his part—he was open to just about everything and wanted everything Levi would give him. He could feel his cheeks warm at the thought but ignored it, pen stopping short of writing on the paper. He couldn’t just put “Levi.”

“You didn’t write anything in the want list? Levi, you know if you don’t want to do anything then we—”

Levi stood abruptly, and there was a twinge inside of Eren that said ‘you fucked up.’ He swallowed hard as his eyes followed the quick movement.

“Because I don’t…” Levi’s voice grew quiet, “Know what I want.” He didn’t look at Eren as he grabbed the bag of empty take-out containers and stiffly walked into the kitchen.

Levi still hadn’t looked at Eren and Eren thought he might’ve actually pissed him off; asked the wrong thing. He followed him into the kitchen, studying his broad back and not missing that he seemed to be very intentionally not looking at him. If Eren didn’t know better he’d have thought Levi was embarrassed; then his eyes caught on Levi’s ears—bright red under his hair.

Eren smiled. Levi _was_ embarrassed. It had never occurred to Eren that Levi would be embarrassed about something like this but—it dawned on him and his lips parted. He’d never much thought about it; had Levi never..?

Eren’s eyes softened as he moved behind Levi. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist, felt him relax against his chest; Eren nuzzled against the curve of Levi’s skull, voice soft and breath warm against his undercut.

“We’ll figure it out.”

* * *

Levi let out a slow breath as he ran he fingers back through his hair—mostly dry in the time that had passed since his shower—eyes dropping to his phone. It was almost time for the New Year’s party and he could already feel the ojida churning the still-digesting pasta his stomach. What could have been mistaken for a sigh passed through his lips as he tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, fingering the hem just past his wrist.

It wasn’t that Levi had never gone to a New Year’s party; it was a yearly event, actually. The difference was that usually it consisted of their group gathering at someone’s house or even congregating at _The Garrison_ —the bar was locally owned and Pixis was on good enough terms with Erwin that they usually got a discount if they hung around late enough.

This year, however, it had somehow become the plan to go to the big ass gathering in Trost central square. Trost wasn’t the most populated city in the world, but there was always far too many people for anyone that didn’t thrive in crowds to enjoy. But both Levi and Eren’s friends had made the decision and Levi hadn’t even bothered to object.

He hadn’t fully intended to go, if he was being honest. But with Eren back in town, it was plan A again. And Levi could already feel the anxiety beginning to creep through the nape of his neck and spreading throughout his body.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Eren’s voice pulled his attention from his phone screen, slowly.

“Ah—nothing?” Steel eyes glanced up at Eren, reactions dumbed.

“You sure? You seem…tense.” Eren was moving closer to him, and Levi averted his eyes.

When had this kid gotten so good at reading him? When had he _let_ him get so good at it?

“I’m fine, Eren.”

Eren’s brows furrowed at that, bright eyes glancing down at the phone in Levi’s hand. Levi squeezed it tightly; too slow to keep Eren from noticing, unfortunately.

“Levi—”

“I’m fine, you almost ready?” Levi tucked his phone into his pocket quickly and started to turn away, only to have a large, warm hand wrap around his own.

“Levi…your hands are shaking.” His dark fingers were soft as they brushed over Levi’s. Levi crinkled his nose at the observation. He didn’t want to do this again.

“I’m fine, really. It’s just…” He bit his lip; why was he even leading him here? He didn’t need to tell him anything, could just steel himself through it like he had everything else in his life. Why the fuck was he telling Eren. Why did he _want_ to.

“There’s going to be a fuck ton of people.” Eren finished for him.

Levi’s lips screwed up in displeasure—at the idea of so many people, at the fact that Eren had him pegged—and reluctantly nodded. His fingers twitched inside Eren’s.

There was a beat of silence before he heard Eren speaking again, but not to him.

“Hey, Armin? Yeah, we’re gonna have to give you a raincheck.” Pause. “Nah, nothing big. I’m just still feeling a little laggy from the trip, so I’ve convinced Levi to stay in a lemme snuggle him.” A pause and distant laugh. “Yeah, tell everyone hey for me.” Eren tugged at his hand, humming some sort of acknowledgment to Armin as he gently pressed his lips against Levi’s finger joints. “Love you, too. Bye.”

“That was…unnecessary.”

Eren was grinning wide, lips split across his face before he kissed Levi’s fingers again. “All the more reason for me to do it.”

“Thanks.” Levi tugged his and Eren’s hands down before Eren could kiss his knuckles again, leaning in to catch Eren’s lips with his own. Eren inhaled against his lips, and Levi thought he felt him smile as he relaxed against him.

“I was serious about that snuggling thing, though.” Eren muttered before pressing a second kiss to Levi’s lips.

The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched, the only not-stoic part of his expression. “Pick your movie, Spoiled.”

A grin split Eren’s face, and Levi couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through his chest.

Levi was pretty sure that they had spent more time deciding on a movie than actually watching movies—good job, Netflix—but he was warm and snuggly and he’d never tell Eren just how much he loved it. How he loved Eren’s long legs bent at his sides, Eren’s heart beating against his back and warmth from his chest warming Levi’s entire body, long arms wrapped around him.

His anxiety left him not wanting to be touched most times but this…

It was nice.

He thought he liked it.

“You know, there’s still a few minutes if you want to go to the party. It’s not like it’s going to stop at midnight.” Levi was mindlessly toying with Eren’s fingers.

Eren only hummed, nose pressing into Levi’s hair. “This is okay, though, isn’t it?”

“Mm, but don’t you want to see your friends? I don’t want to taint-fuck another holiday tradition for you.” He winced, glad Eren couldn’t see his face. It wasn’t exactly something he’d wanted to admit. What was it with him today…with Eren.

Eren inspired many things in people—passion, excitement, fervor, more than a little salt—but the way he made things just spill from Levi’s tongue without his permission…

It was unsettling.

He didn’t like it.

Maybe.

Eren’s breath puffed against the back of his neck, warm against his skin and Levi stifled the shiver threatening to spill from his nape. “Nothing’s been ruined.”

Levi knew Eren was being honest—he usually was—could feel the way Eren simply…didn’t care that they weren’t at the party. He relaxed a little into Eren, head lolling forward just the slightest as Eren’s nose brushed against the skin of his neck.

There was the press of silk against his skin, a closed-lip kiss pressing just below his hairline. Chaste kisses slowly moved to press a lingering kiss behind Levi’s ear, Eren then traced his lips down Levi’s spine to the nape of his neck. He paused there, breath whispering against his skin and lips pressing soft, tentative, but firm.

Levi swallowed hard, body warm but fingers itching, aching, almost ready to protest. But then…nothing.

Eren simply lingered there, arms loose around his waist and nosing against Levi’s neck. Levi’s breath spilled from his lips in a long, content sigh. He squeezed Eren’s fingers, twisting his body just enough to be able to look into his eyes, glance over his lips, the dark, smooth skin of his cheeks.

“Happy New Year, Eren.” His voice was soft as he pressed in for another kiss, lips strong as they worked Eren’s mouth open. His body twisted in Eren’s grasp, fingers holding him tighter against him. Levi didn’t hate it, the way he could sink into Eren. The way Eren was strong and stubborn and firm, but still let Levi lead, let Levi say yes. The way Eren filled his brain enough to drown out the phone ringing in the background at midnight. The way Eren was…Eren.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jean-huh-kirschnickerdoodle.tumblr.com
> 
> comments sustain me, so do the thing maybe


	18. THESE THINGS CAN STILL BE GIVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you mepeters81 (why did i not look at your name before should i find it as funny as i do because i totally do) because ahaha i absolutely didn't realize that i might need to actually say things so here we are. see kids, this is why I NEED YOU TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS cause honestly ive added like 3 chapters worth thanks to the few people doing so.
> 
> uh sorry there's a lot of chapter breaks? does that even matter?

There was something vaguely disturbing about walking through Trost Museum and not seeing Mikasa and knowing Armin wasn’t in his office. Levi had adjusted to not seeing Mikasa, he supposed, but part of his brain still thought that if Eren was back she should have been too. It was almost a foreign concept to him, that Eren took the plane trip back by himself, leaving his family behind on their vacation, just so he could come see Levi on his birthday.

He didn’t get it.

He did. But didn’t.

In reality, it’s not like he didn’t think any of his friends would do the same—fuck, it had been Erwin that had orchestrated the whole thing—but it felt different with Eren. Like it meant something. He thought he liked it.

He didn’t want to like it.

Armin, on the other hand, had simply called in sick—did bosses have to actually call in?—because he had apparently spent his night stealing far too many sips of Jean’s fruity ass drinks and ‘wasn’t getting out of bed until feeling returned to his ass.’ The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched; somehow every time Armin made a vulgar statement it just made him love his boss even more.

“ _Okay but seriously I need to ask you something._ ”

_Eren?_

Levi vaguely ignored the fact that he recognized Eren’s voice so easily and slowed his pace. Eren was leaning over a table, long hair spilled over his shoulders, a clean line down his back, talking to Erwin in a voice that wasn’t nearly as hushed as Eren thought it was. What caught Levi’s attention most was that he hadn’t greeted or even seen Eren come in—which would mean Eren had to very strategically avoid Levi.

His brows pulled in just the slightest as he stepped closer to the two. Levi caught Erwin’s eyes and Erwin very subtly held up two fingers, just for a split second, at the edge of the table. Halt. Levi did, pausing and waiting, vaguely happy for his great hearing. He was pretty sure he saw Erwin’s lips twitch, fighting a smile.

“I just…is Levi a…has he ever?” Eren’s feet switched and he shifted his weight. Levi would almost find the awkwardness endearing if it wasn’t for the fact that he had so specifically avoided him. “Has he never done..well…anything?”

“Levi’s done lots of things, Eren. Killed some people. Stressed some people out. Kicked your ass.” Levi stifled the snort at Erwin’s response. He was toying with the kid.

“Sex.”

Laughter spilled from Erwin, lips cracking into a smile. “Why don’t you just ask Levi?”

“Because I don’t want to ma—”

“Ask me what?”

Eren jolted and holy fuck did his voice even go high enough for that sound to have came from him? Levi was trying not to laugh, himself, fingers ghosting against Eren’s lower back before dropping loosely at his side.

“I uh—” Levi could see Eren’s mind flailing and he was trying not to find it as amusing as he was.

“Eren wants to know if you’ve ever boned anyone.” Erwin’s lips curled in thought, and he quirked his eyebrow. “Or been boned.” Erwin was grinning, chin in his hands. Cheeky bastard.

Levi let out a little snort, eyes remaining neutral and a delicate brow just barely quirking as he turned to face Eren. “I have never touched anyone’s genitals but my own.”

Not technically a lie.

Eren’s eyes faltered and he pressed his lips together. His voice came out quieter than expected. “Sorry, it’s not like it matters or anything. I just…wanted to know. And I didn’t want to make you feel awkward.”

Levi could feel his gaze soften; gently, he brushed his fingers along Eren’s hip before dropping his hands to his side again. Just a ghost of support, understanding. A silent ‘it’s okay.’

Erwin’s grin broadened and Levi just knew whatever he was going to say wasn’t going to be good. “Come on Eren, you just wanted to know if there was still a chance of you getting to ride on a midget dick.”

Eren’s eyes widened and his mind was flailing again; Levi could almost see the hamsters inside spinning inside the wheel. “No—I—it’s not like tha—”

“I’d bang him.” The words were completely nonchalant as he flung a spoon at Erwin’s forehead with pinpoint accuracy. The blond winced, rubbing his forehead and grumbling. He deserved it.

Levi turned back to Eren to see his green eyes were wide, lips parted and his cheeks were definitely flushed. His mouth worked but no sound came out. Levi worried for a moment that he might’ve broken his boyfriend.

“Relax, kid, it’s not like I’m going to go bend you over in the bathroom.” Eren’s eyes softened, lips pressing closed, and his lids lowered just barely over his bright green irises. Levi deadpanned, refraining from rolling his eyes. “Though it looks like you wouldn’t absolutely hate that.”

Eren pressed his lips together, as if considering. “Maybe with the right preparation.”

“Yeah, sorry, I don’t carry lube around in my pockets. I’m pretty sure that’s something only Jean does.”

“Actually—”

Levi dropped his head into his hands. “Really, Erwin? Neither of them even come around here.”

Erwin grinned again and Levi was regretting this conversation more by the second. “Sometimes they visit for lunch. There’s a lot of unopened exhibits here.”

“Oh my fuck please stop talking.” Levi looked up at Erwin from over his hand and saw him grinning wide, smug.

“Okay but seriously, I thought you didn’t like sex…because asexual…and all that?” It was cute the way Eren didn’t want to step on his toes.

“Asexual has nothing to do with it.” He tried to keep his voice a little warmer than usual. Eren was asking questions and that was good, that was important. That was so fucking appreciated. “I don’t really care about sex one way or the other. It’s kinda like…” Levi’s lips pursed and twisted, rolling the thoughts around in his head. “If I’m comfortable enough I’d be willing to give it a try?” He shrugged. “If I like it, awesome. If not, it’s not something I’m going to be missing.”

“That…okay that makes sense.” Eren nodded firmly, with acceptance. “But,” He chewed the inside of his lower lip, thinkingly. “If you just need to be comfortable with someone…then why not…”

“Why haven’t I fucked the squad?”

Eren hummed and nodded.

Erwin was grinning again, leaning his weight onto his elbows. “Yeah, Levi, why haven’t you lemme ride that sweet dick of yours.”

“I swear to fuck Erwin I am going to throw the napkin dispenser at you next.”

Erwin’s grin only broadened. Levi’s lips finally twitched into a small smile as he turned back to Eren. Why were they even having this conversation here? Levi ignored the thought; at least they _were_ having it.

“Because those three—” His lips closed and he paused only a fraction before starting in again. “This guy,” he jabbed his thumb at Erwin, “Has no fucking chill. About anything.”

Erwin nodded sideways, considering and ultimately agreeing.

“I don’t even want to fucking know what kind of weird ass shit Hanji’s into—”

“I’ll show you my collection some time!” Hanji hailed from across the room, a lilt in her voice and too wide grin on her face as she led the small group back toward the entrance.

“...like a fucking hawk.” Erwin mumbled, more amazed than chagrined.

“And Mike? Have you fucking seen Mike? It’d be like fucking an arm—I might as well just let myself get fisted.”

Eren turned to Erwin questioningly, the blond man’s eyebrows pulled in and he closed his eyes, lips pressing tight together and forming a circle with his forefinger and thumb, nodding slightly as if he was affirming the deliciousness of a particular dish.

Eren was laughing at this point, eyes crinkled in the corner and lips strained back over his white teeth, a little breathless. “Okay, okay. But what about before? When you were in the military, wasn’t there anyone else?” Levi’s eyes twitched, too slight for Eren to pick up on. “I mean, I guess I was kind of under the impression that there was a lot of fucking going on in the military.”

Levi was hesitating to answer, picking through memories and trying to decide what was right to say. What was he ready to say? But then his thoughts scattered, fleeing from the rumbling laughter rolling from Erwin’s chest.

“The first guy that tried anything with Levi left his room with a broken wrist and dislocated shoulder.” Levi couldn’t help the way his lips twitched into a smile. “I thought we’d have to watch over him, but it became mine and Hanji’s duty to keep pursuers away from him—for _their_ safety.”

“You’d think they’d have learned after the first few left with broken bones.” Levi shrugged casually, but he was grinning.

Eren hummed, smirking as he leaned close to Levi. “So, want to go see just how comfortable you are with me?”

Levi scoffed, fingers sprawled as he pushed Eren back by his face. “Go home, Eren.”

Eren was still grinning, quickly leaning down from behind to press a kiss to the curve of Levi’s jaw before almost trotting past him. “See you later, Levi.”

Levi was certain he was smiling.

* * *

Eren’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel of his car. Despite the window being down halfway in January, the chill air did nothing to cool his body. He couldn’t help it, really. He was always like this when his mom was in the hospital. Even if it was a fully scheduled, normal, routine appointment of basic tests and fluids.

A sigh passed his lips and he blinked as slow as he could without taking his eyes off the road for too long. It was going to be fine.

She would be fine.

Eren jolted as he heard a loud, sharp yelp—a bark of pain that anyone would recognize as a dog. His eyes flashed to the side, zeroing in on where the sound came from, or at least where he thought it came from. He would have felt more at-ease if he didn’t hear the distinct sound of laughter following.

Luckily, it was nearly the next day and no one was actually out on the streets; pulling to the side of the street and throwing the car into park was something that only took a matter of seconds before he was running out of the open door and into the little alcove beside a flower shop.

The man didn’t look threatening—not to Eren, anyway. He’d dealt with worse. Fuck, he was dating someone who looked more threatening. This was just some bag of dicks who thought picking on smaller things was fun. From the smell, he was far from sober—which probably explained why he wasn’t aware that the dog was baring its fangs and probably outweighed its assaulter.

“Hey, asshat!” Eren growled, already walking toward him—shoulders squared forward and bright eyes looking out from under the darkness of his hair.

The man turned toward him, lips pulling into a lopsided grin and he shifted his weight—staggered, more like—and Eren wasn’t even sure he had fully registered the fact that Eren outclassed him in weight and height. “Brat, you got a pro—”

Eren didn’t let him finish, clean right hook meeting squarely with his jaw. The guy staggered, back bumping into the wall. He blinked, once, twice, five times before glancing up at Eren. His jaw worked before he finally scoffed and staggered out of the alleyway.

Eren could almost feel sorry for the guy; he wasn’t exactly an easy fight even if someone was sober. Not that any thread of pity lingered considered he was kicking a dog. Remembering what drew him down here in the first place, his rage quelled and he turned to the dog—dog _s_ , he amended—to see if they were okay.

_No wonder she had stayed._

“Hey, there,” Eren’s voice was soft, but still she growled, face lowered and eyes looking up at him with the same look his mother gave anyone who picked on him or Mikasa. Eren’s eyes softened and his lips pulled into a delicate smile.

Slowly, he crouched down, extending his hand out toward her, palm down. He pulled his eyes away from her, refusing to challenge her in any way, and found himself looking at another—a puppy. She was huge—really huge—and scruffy with long hair that was probably gorgeous when it wasn’t matted, ears floppy and muzzle square. But the puppy…well, looked nothing like her.

His coat was light—probably blond if it wasn’t covered in…questionable contents—and smooth, short and pressed tight to his small round body. His muzzle wasn’t nearly as square as hers, and one of his ears was making an admirable attempt at standing up. It wasn’t difficult for Eren to come to the conclusion that this puppy she was protecting wasn’t hers.

His thoughts hiccupped as he felt a cold, wet nose press against the back of his hand. Eren smiled, slowly turning his hand to scratch the underside of her chin. “See,” he cooed, “I’m not so bad.”

Eren’s smile broadened as he scratched over her jaw, up behind her ear. He tried not to frown at the way her fur was matted. She would be gorgeous if she was properly groomed. “Fuck…” He let out a little sigh, not really able to be upset. He knew he couldn’t leave them there. “All right, come on.” He almost sang, reaching toward the puppy.

His hands flinched and movements halted when she growled at him again. He let out a breath, watching her carefully, cautiously. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt him.” _Slowly,_ he brushed his fingers over the puppy’s head, keeping his eyes on her until he saw her relax. “See, it’s okay. I’m going to take you guys somewhere safe.”

Gingerly, he picked up the puppy. Now that he could get a better look, he realized he couldn’t be more than a few weeks old—despite the fact that he was about the size of a human newborn. He cradled the puppy against his chest, hand tucked under its butt as he walked slowly back toward his car, pleased to hear the _tic-tic_ of nails on concrete behind him.

“He’s gonna fucking kill me.” Eren muttered, opening the back door for the ‘mother’ dog. She hopped in and he carefully laid the puppy beside her, watching as she immediately began to lick over his face. “I’m dead. Definitely dead.”

It was a short drive before he found himself standing outside of Levi’s apartment. Luckily no one had been outside on his way from the car to Levi’s because how the fuck was he going to explain two, well, disgusting dogs in what was probably a no-dog apartment complex? How was he going to explain it to _Levi_?

_Fuck._

He glanced down at the momma dog. Eren was silently thankful for the fact that she was stupidly well-behaved and wouldn’t even wander off to sniff anything as long as he had the puppy.

“Please don’t kick my ass.” Eren muttered, rapping his knuckles against the door.

His heart stuttered in his chest, stomach twisting as he waited—forcing himself not to bounce on his toes despite his body wanting to move. Run. Something.

 _Click_.

Eren tried to calm himself as Levi opened the door, failing miserably as an awkward, nervous smile spread across his face as he breathed out what couldn’t even be excused as a laugh.

“No.” There was no hesitation.

“But _Levi~_ ” Eren whined, squirming.

“Hell no.”

“Come on, Levi, please. Just give me a chance to explain.”

“Absofuckinglutely not.” Eren’s lips pressed together and his brows furrowed and he knew his green eyes were just a little bigger, a little more glassy than usual. Levi sighed, rubbing two fingers over his forehead. “It’s fucking—” He took a breath, stepping away from the door. “Get the fuck in here I don’t want to have to explain to anybody why you have mutts in the hallway.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. They were surely mutts, but Eren couldn’t help but pout at the way Levi said it. Though, considering how clean and organized Levi was…Eren knew he was going to be less than thrilled to have two _just_ _filthy_ dogs showing up on his doorstep.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Levi began speaking.

“What the actual fuck, Eren?”

“I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to take them!” Eren was shifting, he was restless and he hated it. He wanted to stay and talk it over with Levi, try to really convince him. But he also knew his mom would be hooked up to get her fluids much sooner rather than later and he wanted to be with her when she went through that.

“I can think of a lot of places. Like, oh, I don’t know, _your apartment._ ”

Eren winced. Levi was salty. Okay, he deserved that.

“I can’t take them to my apartment. The manager can see the entryway from her room and there is no fucking way I could sneak her past Rico.” His voice dropped into a mumble. “She’s scarier than you.” Levi narrowed his eyes as he looked up at Eren, who lifted his hand to show a small space between his finger and thumb. _Just a little._

In reality, Rico was generally kind. She was strict but she wasn’t mean or unfair. She followed the rules and she was honest. Not bad at all, though Mikasa had never been fond of her.

A heavy sigh fell from Levi’s lips, arms crossed over his chest. “Why did you even pick them up, Eren?”

Eren’s lips pulled down in a pout, and he brushed his finger between the puppy’s eyes. “I heard her scream. Some douchebag was kicking them.”

Levi’s shoulders visibly relaxed and Eren thought he might have been winning. A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, remembering the way Levi had told him he was going to ruin his reputation.

_Softie._

“Eren,” Levi’s voice was softer, laced with a small sigh as he took a step forward, reaching out to gently brush his thumb along the puppy’s face. “I can’t keep them here.”

“Please, Levi.”

“They’re disgusting.”

 “Just for tonight, please.” Eren knew his eyes were big and begging and knew it wasn’t fair but hoped that somehow it’d work on Levi. He could see Levi considering, and he leaned down to press their foreheads together. “Please, I’ll be back to pick them in like six hours.”

Levi sighed, breath fluttering Eren’s bangs. “Fuck. Fine but—wait what? You’ll _be back_? You’re _just leaving them here?_ ”

Eren smiled sheepishly, gently rolling the tubby puppy into Levi’s arms. “I’m sorry, Levi, I am. It’s just…Mom’s in the hospital—” He saw a flash of worry in Levi’s eyes; Eren appreciated it. “—she’s getting fluids, it’s fine, but, I need to be there with her.”

“Fuck—you’re playing dirty.” Another breath slipped from his lips. “Fine, six hours.”

Eren was grinning, elated. Six hours was enough time to find someone to take them right? Or maybe convince his mom to keep them at her house until he could adopt them out. Yeah, six hours would do.

“Thanks, Levi,” Eren pressed a kiss against his lips, heart pulsing when he felt Levi push back. He broke the kiss, smiling softly before pressing another quick kiss to Levi’s lips. “Six hours.”

“Go.”

Eren grinned, pressing his lips to Levi’s forehead before finally pulling away and closing the door behind him.

* * *

Levi didn’t move as Eren closed the door, standing still and defeated with a puppy warm in his arms, squirming in its sleep against his chest. He sighed, looking down at the other dog. They were both filthy and both reeked—like garbage and fermenting…something. Levi rolled his tongue against the roof of his mouth, crinkling his nose at the way he could taste their stank in the back of his throat. It was like someone had febreezed them with a brewery.

“Don’t you fucking piss on my floor.” She looked up at him, mouth opening into what looked like a smile and he could have sworn her tail wagged. “Come on.”

Levi rubbed a hand over his face as he walked toward the bathroom, assuming she was following him. The puppy in his arms barely opened his eyes before falling back asleep; still nursing age.

Oh good.

Levi stared at the shower, wondering just how well this was going to work. He’d never bothered with getting an apartment that had an actual bath—he didn’t like baths, soaking in his own filth like that—but now he’d be more than a little thankful for it. Bathing them with the shower door open was going to make a mess. At least he had a movable showerhead on a hose instead of one that anchored into the wall.

It hadn’t taken more than a couple minutes to wash the puppy—even if he’d mostly soaked himself in the process. She had done a good job of keeping her puppy as clean as she could; Levi admired that in his own way. He bundled the puppy—thankful it had peed in the shower while he was bathing it instead of on his bathroom rug—and made sure he was warm and secure before he turned to her.

Levi let out a little groan. She was…disgusting. But it wasn’t her fault and he couldn’t help feeling for her. She blinked up at him with big, olive-tinged eyes and he narrowed his own. Clearly the universe loved fucking with him.

“Come on, your turn.” By the time Levi had pulled his wet shirt from his body and dropped his pants to the floor beside it, she was sitting patiently in the shower. He only narrowed his eyes at her again.

“Hope you don’t mind human shampoo, it’s all I have. Least you’ll smell good.”

It had taken half an hour, three washes, one of the brushes he kept around for when he attacked Hanji’s hair, and a pair of scissors before he deemed her officially clean.

“Aha! Victory!” Levi shouted, throwing his arms up—not caring that it was past one A.M. and glad no one was around to see. And then he felt himself being splattered with cold water, body tensing and lips pressing together. “I hate you.”

It took another almost half hour to blow dry her, and when he was done, Levi was almost amazed. She looked like a different dog. Her fur was soft, a beautiful mixture of brown and red and she blinked up at him with happy eyes. She reminded him of—

_Isabel…_

He swallowed hard, corner of his mouth twitching softly, and carded his fingers through her fur. She gently licked his wrist, tail wagging softly behind her. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

_Fuck._

He wiped himself down with a damp cloth before picking up the bundle of puppy and stepping from the bathroom into his own room. Once he had clean, dry clothes on, Levi turned back to them. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching as she padded over to his side and laid her chin on his leg.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

She wagged her tail. Levi sighed heavily, air tumbling from deep in his lungs. “You remind me of her.” His voice was quiet, long fingers carding through her fur. “Isabel and…” He glanced at the puppy, and his smile softened—sadness behind his eyes.

He didn’t like thinking on it. Couldn’t remember how long it had been since he’d actually spoken either of their names aloud.

“How about…” He brushed over her forehead again, and she pushed against his hand. “Gloria.” Steel eyes flickered over to the puppy, blue-green-puppy eyes cracking open as it began whimpering. “Heh, and Victory.”

_I’m sure they’d approve of you two inheriting those names…_

When Victory continued whimpering, Levi let out a tired sigh and pulled him from his bundle. “I think it’s time for you to feed.” Shuffling down onto the floor, he lifted Gloria’s fur to glance at her belly. Good, she had plenty of milk. He set Victory near her, urging him over to her. The puppy nudged her, mouthing at her, but refused to latch.

“Fuck.” He spat, pushing to his feet and finding his phone, typing out a message to Hanji.

* * *

Eren couldn’t stop his yawning, eyes a little swollen and bloodshot and ponytail a mess. He hadn’t slept, or at least he wasn’t sure he could count the maybe hour he slept in the hard plastic chair at his mom’s bedside while she held his hand as sleep.

Sure as fuck wasn’t rest.

All he wanted to do was walk in a crash on Levi’s couch, if he was being honest. But he couldn’t. He’d already dropped a mess in his lap and it was only fair he get it out of his hair. It hadn’t actually taken a lot of coercing to convince his mom to take the dogs—she told him she’d take care of dealing with his father, it’d be fine.

Eren lifted his hand to knock on the door, and then thought better of it. He had buzzed and gotten no response, so maybe Levi was asleep; miraculously. He doubted it, but he checked the door to see if it was locked, anyway.

It wasn’t.

Slowly he pushed the door open, stepping through and closing it as quietly as he could behind him, flipping the lock. He toed off his shoes and padded into the living area. What he saw stopped his breath, heart lodging in his throat and butterflies threatened to burst from his stomach.

Levi was, in fact, asleep. But Eren couldn’t do anything but grin, smile spreading wide across his face as he stifled some urge to resemble a twelve-year-old girl.

Levi was lying on his back, puppy curled against his chest. He cradled it in his arms, protecting him. Eren could feel his heart sink softly, feather light, back into place and he couldn’t stop the softness in his eyes if he tried. It was then that his attention was pulled away by a movement and muttering from the other side of the coffee table. Eren had to suppress a snort as he peered around to see Hanji, sprawled out and twisted on the floor, muttering in her sleep and drool soaking into the hip of the momma dog; she looked like an entirely different dog. Should he even ask?

Carefully, he moved beside Levi. Eren was smiling when he brushed Levi’s hair back from his face, hating to have to rouse him from sleep.

“Hey,” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper.

Levi blinked, steel eyes focusing in on Eren, before letting out a hoarse, “Hey.” He shifted, moving the puppy to a more comfortable place on his chest.

Eren had himself braced on the back of the couch, expression soft as he looked down at Levi. He wanted to kiss him and touch him and snuggle beside him. He wanted to capture every piece of this moment, of this softness and warmth of Levi that he didn’t show just anybody.

“Mom said she’ll take the dogs.” Eren smiled softly. “Thank you for—” Levi’s expression stopped his words in his throat, the way his brows furrowed and his eyes were suddenly clear and…was he…was he pouting?

“They're staying here.”

Eren tilted his head just so, eyes narrowing questioningly. “What?”

“You cant put that on your mom.” His voice was still gruff, but Eren thought he might be full of shit.

Eren’s smile broadened, something welling inside his chest. “You…you want to keep them?” Levi only stared back at him and Eren let out a little laugh. “All right, all right, they’re all yours.”

“Not mine.” Levi grumbled, shifting so he was lying on his side, holding the puppy against him and looking at Eren expectantly. Eren could only smile as he managed to wriggle in beside him, feet hanging off the edge of the couch and Levi shifting to lay more on Eren than on the couch, arm holding the puppy securely at Eren’s stomach.

“You found them—you have to help take responsibility. At least until this one is weaned. The Sunshine Trio have been looking for a puppy. And I'm pretty sure crazy over there claimed her.”

Eren’s chest rumbled with quiet laughter, nosing into Levi’s hair. He ignored the way his heart pounded in his chest at everything that was said without being said. “That’s fair.”

Levi hummed and silence fell between them. Eren thought he’d fallen asleep. He was about to follow him when Levi mumbled against his shirt.

“You stink.”

Eren’s laugh was a little louder this time, Levi’s head moving with his chest. “You want to bathe me? You did a great job on the dogs.” He expected a retort or the stank eye or some sort of reprimand, but instead—

“Gloria and Victory.”

Eren’s brows furrowed as he lifted his head and looked down at Levi—who hadn’t even moved. He was sure if he wasn’t so fucking tired he could have figured it out, but instead he let out a dumb, “Huh?”

“Their names. Gloria and Victory.” His words were sleep muffled and his mouth squished against Eren’s chest.

“Gloria and Victory…” Eren rolled the names around on his tongue, then smiled softly, snuggling closer—if that was possible—against Levi. “I like them.”

He thought he felt Levi’s fingers twist into his shirt, but his eyelids were falling heavy over his eyes and pulling him into the warmth of sleep before he could question why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was absolutely necessary. honestly i almost took the whole thing with the dogs out of the story completely. and really, do not expect updates to continue at this frequency this surprised me too.
> 
> comments sustain me, so do that thing maybe


	19. I LIKE THAT YOU'RE BROKE AND BROKEN LIKE ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> ha .hahaha. hey.
> 
> so uhh tada? guess this is back. sorta. i hope. honestly its been two years and wtf i can't even imagine how different this is. my writing alone. and i mean p sure i did a shit job with the characters cause its been forever since i watched snk. one day ill rewrite the whole thing.
> 
> also i changed a bit in the last chapter. i decided it was too soon for them to adopt dogs together so theyre just keeping them until hanji and erwin squad take them.

Eren wasn’t sure how they ended up at The Squad’s™ place again. He found himself spending as much time there as he did with his friends, but he couldn’t really complain. Time with them meant time with Levi. And he knew it was something special, something extra.

Levi was letting him further into his life.

Levi was saying hey, come be a part of this part of me.

Eren would take every bite of Levi’s life he could get his teeth on.

True as that was—and he hoped always would be—he still wasn’t sure what was the point. Levi never struck him as the type to just gather. Then again, he had gone to that party when he’d first met him.

The memory still left Eren cringing. He was such a damn idiot then. He hoped he’d grown enough since then for it to be forgotten—and forgiven. The little touches when no one would notice—fingers brushing his hips, knuckles knocking against his own—made him think maybe he had.

“You really just gonna stare?” Levi looked at him in the reflection on the mirror.

Eren had been a little surprised the first time he’d seen it—black liquid sliding across Levi’s eyelid like a fucking pro—and then he almost hoped Levi would never not wear it. He was too fucking attractive as it was, but, well, everyone looks better with eyeliner? The dark line, sharp at the end, only served to make his steel eyes all the more stunning.

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Eren grinned wide, almost proud.

“Smug little asshole.” Levi muttered, rinsing the brush in the sink before yanking Eren into a kiss by the front of his shirt. Eren’s heart fluttered—it always did—but Levi avoided a second kiss. “Car or bike?” Levi was already shrugging into his jacket.

“Mmn well bike means I get to squeeze you extra tight for warmth right?” Eren was grinning again—yeah, he was definitely a smug piece of shit.

“Bike it is.”

Eren caught the glimpse of a smile as Levi stepped through the door. He followed behind him, waiting only long enough for Levi to lock the door and follow him. Their hands bumped as they walked, heat sparking through his skin and his heart pattering in his chest. He was pretty sure he was supposed to be past this phase by now.

The thought flittered as Levi’s fingers laced between his, curling around his hand. Eren cautioned a quick glance but Levi wasn’t looking at him. It was still difficult, Eren thought, for Levi to be open and expressive about his feelings. He let the warmth linger, remembering it on his skin as they made the drive to Erwin’s house.

The whole place smelled delicious, spices and meat that had been cooking slowly filled the house. Chili, Eren thought. And there was noise, so much noise. Hanji was there and….did she just get thrown through the kitchen window. Eren couldn’t help but laugh—Hanji was cackling as she lay on her back on the couch below the window. Something about bananas?

He looked at Levi, who only shook his head and muttered, “Dumbass.”

Eren found himself observing them again. He always seemed to. It was strange, almost foreign. Observing wasn’t like him. He was a participator. But with this group, everything was new, and they brought out bits of Levi that Eren wasn’t accustomed to.

And he loved it.

“What the factual fuck are you doing, Hanji?”

She was looking up at Levi upside down. “When’d you get so tall, Levi!?”

Eren found himself cackling now, watching as Levi grabbed her ankle and flipped her heels over head onto the floor. “Don’t you start.” Levi pointed at Eren, who pressed his lips closed to stop his laugh—only to let it loose once Levi walked into the kitchen.

Bowls were filled with chili and Nanaba smiled as she ordered everyone to make their food. Eren filled his with more cheese than necessary, topping it with sour cream. He wasn’t surprised that Levi added nothing, only grabbing some corn chips to mix in. He clicked his tongue at Eren’s bowl. Eren stuck his tongue out at him, quipping Levi’s feelings for him.

Eren settled in beside Levi, amused and somehow softened by the way his boyfriend pulled his feet cross-legged onto the couch. He was so small. And also could easily kick his ass. And everyone’s ass in this room. Probably at the same time. The bigass TV clicked on and Eren realized that there had apparently been plans and he just wasn’t told them.

The fight was on tonight. UFC definitely had a place in his heart. It was amusing, and not nearly as boring as boxing. He never did understand how his mother liked boxing.

It was a good match, they were pretty easily matched. But he was more amused by the way everyone reacted in the room. The trio were loud and obnoxious with every good hit, every pin, every almost win. Hanji surprised him the most, the way she was quiet, calculated.

She and Levi sat close, Hanji leaning forward against his knees and talking quietly. She muttered predictions—which were more often than not correct—and he answered her questions about technique. They had clearly done this before, settled into their ways.

Eren loved seeing them like this. Seeing them all connect. Seeing a new side of Levi, again. Who knew he knew so much about MMA?

…Everyone in this room knew.

He swallowed, tried to ignore the feeling. Of course they knew. They were his friends. They’d known him for years. Of course they had their ways carved out in each other’s lives.

Eren hated that he felt left out. Even if he was included, even if they talked to him, even if Levi bumped their knees and occasionally played with the hair that fell over Eren’s shoulder.

Maybe it wasn’t rational. But he still felt it.

It wasn’t quite jealousy—he didn’t want them to have less of Levi. He just wanted to have as much as they did.

“I had no idea you knew so much about fighting, Levi.” Eren tried to keep his voice happy, even. He wasn’t sure if he had by the way everyone had looked at him. Not at him. At Levi.

He was missing something again.

Something everyone knew but him.

“Yeah, well, I used to fight.” Levi’s words were completely matter-of-fact. They grated on Eren.

“In the military?”

“No, before.” Levi looked away from him, back at the screen.

There was a tension there that wasn’t there before. As if everyone was waiting to see if he’d continue. Well, he’d hate to disappoint.

“Before? But I thought you joined as soon as you were old enough. Right, Erwin?” Eren’s brows furrowed.

“Well, yeah.” Erwin answered after a moment of silence.

There was more silence. But it was loud, so loud. Tension zinged in the room as Levi refused to look at him, focusing on the fight. Eren huffed through his nose.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Eren didn’t mean for the words to be that forceful, even as his fingers were loose on Levi’s wrist. “Why does everyone know except me? Can’t even trust me?”

Eren regretted the words as soon as they spilled from his lips and the look Levi gave him made jumping off the roof sound like a good idea. Steel eyes that were normally so beautiful looked like they could kill him.

Levi jerked his arm from Eren’s grip. “Well sorry, not all of us were lucky enough to have parents that didn’t use us. Maybe I didn’t want to fucking talk about it.” He stood, storming out almost silently into an adjoining room.

Eren could feel everyone’s eyes boring into him. Well, Hanji and Erwin’s. Mike and Nanaba were very strictly trying not to look at him. Yeah, not awkward at all.

“Well all of you knew!” Eren bit out in his own defense, sighing and dropping his gaze to his fists. “Why do you guys all know…”

The couch sank as Erwin sat beside him. He didn’t fit in the space like Levi did, too big and almost causing Eren to topple into his lap. “Well, because I was there. For part of it. Levi, when he was about sixteen, well his foster father started setting him up in backyard brawls.”

Eren quirked an eyebrow at him. Backyard brawls, really?

“It’s worse than it sounds. It was some real shady shit. Like dog fights but with people. Levi was young but kid could fight. I was curious, wanted to test my strength since I’d joined the military.” Erwin chuckled, remembering. “Levi wiped the floor with me. I never saw him lose, but he took his share of beatings. In and out of the ring. Second I could, I got him to follow me.”

Eren licked his lips slowly, digesting. “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”

Erwin nodded. That was enough. That’s all he needed to know.

He swallowed hard, feeling his heart sink into his stomach and nerves crawl through his veins as he moved toward the room Levi had gone into. His fingers brushed the door before reluctantly twisting the knob and opening it.

“Levi…?” His voice was so quiet he wasn’t sure if he’d actually spoken. Then Levi lifted a hand, waving him in.

Eren shut the door behind him, walking around the edge of the bed to sit solemnly beside Levi. He looked so serious, cool light from outside reflecting on his pale skin. Eren wanted to touch it, touch him, whisper sweet nothings and sensual apologies.

He did none of that.

“I fucked up.”

“Yeah, you did.”

Eren winced. He deserved that. Still, it panged his heart and surged panic through him. Something like this wouldn’t end them, right?

Right…?

“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft and his cheeks burned with shame. How often would he be apologizing to Levi? “I just…everyone knew. Always knows.” He could feel Levi tensing, steel eyes on him. “But, that doesn’t make it okay. I’m…forgive me?”

Eren wasn’t looking at him, eyes downcast, focusing on the space between his foot and Levi’s. And then he felt cool fingers brushing through his hair, thumb brushing his cheek bone. He’d barely had a chance to lift his gaze when he felt the press of lips against his cheek.

“You’re an idiot,” He sighed softly, “But I guess so am I.”

Levi’s hand dropped to Eren’s, pinkies and ring fingers tangling. Eren looked at him, watched him struggle and let out a slow breath.

“I was an orphan. Mom was great but…she died when I was really young. Six or so. The guy who fostered me he…” Levi swallowed hard. “Well, he made use of me. Fighting him never worked. Not at first, anyway.”

_Made use of me._

Eren wanted to ask. Wanted clarification. But he didn’t want to push. Levi was confiding…this should be enough. Levi lifted his left hand, twisting his hand in a way that made a loud _crack!_ in his wrist.

“This was the first time I fought back. I was nine. He snapped my wrist. Told me not to bother. Or get stronger.” Levi’s eyes were distance, almost reliving. There was a twitch at his lips and Eren couldn’t tell if it was hurt or some sort of sick satisfaction at what he was about to say. “The second time I was sixteen. I broke his nose, knocked him on his ass. I thought it would be over after that.”

Fingers slipped into Eren’s completely, and he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand.

“I was right. And wrong. He threw me into a match after that. Some underground MMA bullshit. I’d had minimal training, but managed to get out standing with not much more than a busted mouth. It got worse after that. I was his golden egg. I fought adults. I fought…kids. Sometimes more than one. Sometimes they had weapons.”

Eren watched as Levi’s chest filled with air, slowly deflating with his breath.

“Erwin got me out. But, yeah. It was fucked up. I didn’t...maybe I liked the way you look at me. And didn’t want to change that.”

Eren felt the tension rush out of him. He pursed his lips, looking at Levi from the corner of his eyes. “You’re right. You are an idiot.” He’d apologize later for the glimpse of fear he saw in Levi’s eyes. Eren leaned in and brushed their lips together. “That could never change how I look at you,” He grinned, their faces still close, “But glad to know you like it.”

Levi groaned, pushing Eren back by his face. “At least eight regret.”

* * *

 

They hadn’t stayed long, finishing the fight before saying their goodbyes. Levi punched Erwin in the chest as thanks for spilling his shit, and then they drove home. It was surprising the way the silence in the car wasn’t awkward, or heavy. After that conversation he was sure…

His eyes flitted over Eren’s profile, orange of the street lights moving over his dark skin. Levi swallowed, turning his eyes back to the street. This was okay. This was fine.

Totally fine.

Levi crinkled his nose, pulling at the front of his shirt as Eren shut the apartment door behind him. “We stink.”

“What? The magnificently clean Levi smells bad?”

Levi only squinted, shrugging out of his jacket. “We smell like chili. Go take a shower.”

Eren rolled his eyes but he was smiling as he passed by him, kissing his cheek. “You can always join me~” He called as he entered the bathroom.

The door closed behind Eren and Levi was quietly thankful he didn’t have to answer. Because the idea didn’t completely disgust him. Levi had busied himself with unnecessary cleaning while Eren—gratefully—took a quick shower.

“Your turn.” He called, skin still shower-supple and a towel low on his hips as he walked into Levi’s bedroom. “Taking this with me,” Eren held up the hair drier.

Levi bit his lip, quick to step into the bathroom behind him. He ran cold water over himself, then hot. Neither seemed to make a difference and the jolt of shock that cold water induced was only enough to make him want to get the fuck out of the shower as quickly as possible.

He sighed at himself in the mirror, hair still damp and clothes settling a little too clingy against his body. What was he even thinking? His fingers were on the verge of shaking and he buried them in a towel, ruffling it over his hair.

_You want to try._

He knew he did.

Most of him, anyway.

Finding Eren sitting on his bed in just one of his shirts and one of the few pairs of underwear that Eren actually had with him at Levi’s place only solidified his shower thoughts. He did want to try.

He swiped across his phone to pull up some music—anything for background noise. Biting his lip, Levi moved to the side of the bed.

“Eren.”

Eren pulled his gaze from his phone, looking up to meet his eyes. Levi watched as he registered the seriousness in his voice, his face. Phone set aside, he pushed himself into an all alert position.

“What’s up?”

Levi swallowed hard, felt his stomach tighten and churn. Carefully, he put his knee on the edge of the bed. He moved, easily sitting in Eren’s lap, knees on each side of his hips. Levi watched him closely—probably too closely—the entire time. He was reading Eren—his surprise, his excitement, his unfathomable amount of confusion.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” The words spilled from Levi lips, and he tipped his mouth forward before Eren could actually say anything.

Their lips crashed, almost bruising. Levi was ferocious and Eren was soft and it took a few beats for them to sync. For Eren’s brain to melt and catch up and for Levi to kick his own ass into calming down.

It wasn’t a race to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. It wasn’t a grit and bear through it situation. It wasn’t a maybe this will be the last.

Not this time.

It was none of that and Levi had to let Eren’s hands calm him, soft on his back, long fingers brushing slow lines underneath his shirt, tracing the small of his back. They were hot—his skin was always hot—but they were gentle. Cautious. Encouraging in a way that wouldn’t move without Levi telling them to.

Levi didn’t know if he could tell them to. If he was ready to tell them to.

But…he wanted to touch Eren. He liked kissing him. He wanted to kiss him more.

He wanted to run away for wanting to kiss him more.

It was just kissing, that was fine right? Kissing was good.

Kissing was really fucking good.

Levi hummed as their tongues brushed, slipping past into each other’s mouth. They moved slowly, lips pressed open and encouraging.

Kissing Eren was different than the kisses he’d shared with his friends. Kissing Eren was more.

Levi inhaled, shifting to push his body closer to Eren’s. Strong fingers buried themselves in his long hair, so soft against his skin. Eren hummed at the little pull—moaned, Levi realized. This just encouraged Levi to do it again, giving a baby tug and nipping at his lips.

He felt his boyfriend’s fingers twitch against his back, fingertips pushing into his skin and sliding to his hips. Levi moved into the touch.

It’s okay.

Keep going.

They didn’t. Eren squeezed Levi’s hips and he knew—knew—his boyfriend was controlling himself. It was almost laughable to think about how he was mere months ago. How did they end up here?

Levi broke the kiss, pulling back just enough to look at Eren’s face. His eyes were heavy and pupils blown—even in the dim lamplight he could see that. Saliva glossed over his lips and Levi stifled the sour feeling it left in his stomach.

“Levi?” Eren breathed, tongue swiping over his kiss swollen lips and eyes struggling to focus.

Levi could see the confusion. The questioning. Fuck, he appreciated the questioning.

And the restraint.

And the effort Eren made to learn about him.

Levi bit his own lip, releasing Eren’s hair just to reach behind his neck and pull his shirt over his head. Eren’s thumb brushed over his hip, adam’s apple bobbing as his boyfriend took in the view of his body.

Levi brushed his thumb over Eren’s bottom lip, shifting enough to feel his boyfriend starting to get hard beneath him.

“It’s okay, isn’t it?” Levi asked quietly, awkwardly. Maybe he was the one rushing all this.

Except then there were lips on his, a hunger, a starvation as their lips crashed and tongues twisted. Long fingers climbed his back, traced around his body, over his chest, his shoulders, scraping into his undercut. Levi couldn’t help but mirror it, feeding off Eren’s own need.

His fingers twisted into Eren’s shirt, mouth pressing rough, pushy kisses over his boyfriend’s face, urging his face to the side. He sucked and bit at Eren’s neck, a little tingle of pride jolting through him at the way Eren’s breath caught, the way he moaned.

Levi wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be feeling—but he knew he wanted to keep making Eren feel that way.

He pulled at Eren’s—Levi’s—shirt, yanking it over his head and losing it somewhere in the darkness of the room. Levi felt lips crash against his again, hand against his back, cradling the back of his head. He bit his lip at the sensation of lips sucking and kissing at his neck—so hungry yet so, so gentle.

Eren was a man that spoke with his actions more than his words.

Just say when.

Levi smiled softly, secretly, lifting his chin and letting him have access. He could do this. If it was Eren, he thought he could do it.

His stomach jolted as his world shifted, Eren’s muscles tensing beneath him as he moved them, reversed them, let Levi sink into the mattress. He could feel Eren’s erection against his thigh, restrained in his underwear but only just so—and not enough to keep Eren from shifting, rubbing against Levi to get some sort of friction.

Still, Eren pampered him. He kissed him, peppering his neck, pressing soft dapples of kisses over his collarbone. Eren kissed over his chest, tongue swiping gently over Levi’s nipple. It elicited a small gasp, barely there as his chest lifted into the attention.

He bit his own lip. That was…unexpected. His body tensed, almost waiting for the next lick. But there was none. Eren simply dragged his kisses down his stomach, urging his muscles to react. He pressed his lips to Levi’s naval, fingers dragging over his hip bones, tracing the carved ‘v’ between them.

Green eyes looked up at him from under heavy lashes. He kissed his stomach but made no move to progress, even if Eren’s cock said otherwise.

“Go ahead.” Levi’s voice was rougher than he’d expected it to sound.

“Levi?” Eren sat up just enough to look at him. His eyes were so clear in that moment. “Are you sure?”

Levi pressed his leg between Eren’s, grinding his thigh against Eren’s dick—he liked the way Eren moaned for it. “I said go ahead.”

Eren’s breath stuttered, eyes falling shut and rocking his hips another two, three times against Levi’s leg. Finally, he nodded. “Right.”

Levi lifted his hips, letting Eren tug his pants and underwear off. It was almost embarrassing how slowly he removed them, as if unveiling some magnificent beauty.

Fuck.

His cock jolted, cold air not stopping the way Eren looked at him from affecting him. Levi lay still, tense but almost thrilled. Eren was nothing but surprises to him. Perfect lips kissed along his hips, dark hair tickling the tops of his thighs, brushing against his cock. Levi’s breath stuttered when Eren shifted, turning his hungry mouth toward exactly what Eren wanted.

“Wait—”

Eren stopped immediately.

_Thank you…_

“There’s...in the drawer. There’s lube.”

Eren just stared at him, dumbfounded. Levi sighed loudly, rolling his eyes.

“Do I need to spell it out for you?” He pressed his foot against Eren’s crotch, rubbing against his dick through his pants. Eren curled over him satisfyingly, letting out a moan. Levi did it again. “Get the lube.”

“Nn—okay.” Eren breathed, turning to dig through the drawer and grab the small bottle.

“Good. Now,” Levi had moved just enough to grip into his hair and pull him into a kiss, dragging him down on top of him.

Levi ignored the click of the lube, ignored the shudder threatening to rush through his body. He focused on the heat on his lips, the heat where Eren’s skin touched him. His breath puffed out in a half-curse against Eren’s lips when long fingers wrapped around his cock.

They were slick, covered in lube his boyfriend had warmed in his hand. His body crumbled beneath Eren’s touch. Heat burned through him, singeing his skin and pushing pressing into his spine. Levi’s hips moved into Eren’s touch, lifting into his hand.

Levi groaned low against Eren’s lips, savoring the way he touched him. His fingers were soft, but there, firm enough to drag pleasure through him, a sharp jolt when Eren’s fingers would brush over the tip. He was edging him, treating him with caution that Levi never showed himself.

It was good.

He breathed hotly against Eren’s lips when his fingers dragged lower, cupping his sac and massaging his balls. And then lower, tracing against his taint, following the curve between his thighs. His eyes opened slowly to find Eren watching him, asking him.

Levi nodded, hiding his hard swallow. He kissed him again. Kissed through the tension of a slick finger massaging his entrance—his body reacted, asshole twitching under the touch. Levi kissed him harder, as if preparing himself. He was holding his breath when he felt it, the pressure, the push of a finger sliding into him.

His hand was tight around Eren’s throat, fingers digging deep into the arteries and palm pressing against his windpipe. Green eyes were wild as they looked down at him, long fingers wrapped around his wrist. Levi was empty—Eren’s hands no longer touching him.

How did they end up here? With Eren gasping his name and Levi’s hand around his throat.

His hand was around Eren’s throat.

“Fuck—” Levi let him go, arms reaching out to catch him as he fell forward.

Fuck.

Eren sputtered and coughed, fingers gripping into the sheets around them. He took hard, rough breaths, desperate for oxygen.

Fuck.

“Eren, Eren—” Levi gripped his shoulders. “Fuck, are you okay? Fuck I’m sorry, Eren.” His hands were touching his neck, his jaw, his face. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” The same useless words spilled from Levi’s lips.

Lips that had only moments ago been on Eren’s.

Lips that didn’t deserve to be on Eren’s.

Fuck.

Long fingers wrapped around Levi’s wrists, keeping them against his neck, his face. Eren smiled softly at him, eyes red and watery, but they said everything.

_I know._

He knew.

It had clicked and Levi knew it. He knew what had really happened to him, without details. Eren knew. Eren knew what he’d been through. Eren knew what a fucking mistake this was.

What a mistake they were…

Lips pressed softly against his, quick and warm. “Don’t do that.”

Levi’s fingers twisted into Eren’s hair. “What?” His voice was strained, and he could feel his throat tightening even as he fought it.

“Don’t over-think it.”

Warm lips pressed against Levi’s again, and this time he felt heat streak heavy down his cheeks, tears dripping between them. “I’m sorry,” He whispered again.

“I know.” Eren was smiling, kissing his cheek where the tears had fallen, following their trail to his jaw.

“I’m so sorry, Eren.”

“I know.”

Levi let his world turn to kisses, let Eren’s lips and warm body and gentle hands lure him into softness, into forgetting, into being nothing but Eren’s for just a little while.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise nothing.


End file.
